Aibu with shop assistants comment 'wrecking the place'

[Harmonyrays]

Browsing in a large charity shop wuth a toddler pottering about. In the childs section, i was looking at books while she was looking at toys getting things out admittedlt leaving 3 or 4 on the floor. I was just turning aeound to pick them hp when an assistant came over and said 'could you please not let your child wreck the place'.

Thoughts please as im annoyed at the comment as shes a very yound child who was doing what kids do, i was close by ready to put things away and was going to help the charity by buying several items.

Excellent post from SheepofWallStreet.

@TheSheepofWallSt

Most sensible answer on this thread.

Are you sure you should be on AIBU with common decency like that?

YABU.
Can't see the point of the thread.
Your child had already put a few items on the floor and you were only turning around when the volunteer assistant approached. You weren't paying attention to your toddler till then.

Just make sure you supervise your child and teach them that shops are not places to play with toys. Remind them every time you enter such shop if necessary and involve them in your own shopping as as distraction if necessary.

Otherwise, just apologise to the assistant and move on.

*It's really hard going shopping with a small child

No it isn't. But if it is, online shopping is your friend*

I don’t agree

It’s going back to what Sheep said. If shopping with children is a bit chaotic (it is) should we just never take them until one day they wake up non shambolic and robotic like the children of posters with rose tinted specs/on a wind up?

*It's really hard going shopping with a small child!

It really isn't. Once you accept that it is not the same as going shopping alone and you can't do the same as you would without a child in tow.*

Oh trust me I accept it’s not the same (but thanks for telling me it isn’t because I thought I could still spend hours in Top Shop) but funnily enough knowing it never stopped my DC doing the going rigid/going floppy thing when being put in the trolley, screaming the place down for no reason, being starving, doing a crazy exploding poo at the checkout, trying to escape and stand on the seat, grabbing things, trying to take my clothes off...I could go on and that’s just boring old Sainsbury’s

But if we never take em out they’ll never learn so 🤷‍♀️

Siam yep. And then shove them back indoors when they are elderly and not so perfect again.

No one on this thread, no one would say that an elderly, doddery, deaf-as-a-post, getting-in-all-those-busy-mums-way person should not be allowed out in public because they didn't always behave in a 100% desirable way, you would be a disgusting specimen of humanity if you thought that. It's an excellent analogy, and it should shut the moaners the fuck right up.

Star fail

It’s either people on a wind up Weeping or those who have forgotten that young children are like a drunk Mr Tickle. I doubt they would say any of those things in real life.

I think it's half people who genuinely think like this and half people who've seen this so many times on MN that they mindlessly make these comments, thinking that it's the 'right' comment to make.

I often think you can't underestimate the sheeplike nature of many MNers.

A bit rude but there are health and safety considerations for the shop with toys lying about on the floor. You need to pick em up straight away.

Imagine if that old woman in SheepOfWallSt post had had to negotiate her way past toys on the floor in the shop, too? That would have been a bloody nightmare for her and that is the problem.

Yes, children need to learn how to behave in shops, but that means having their parent/carer right next to them so that when they get toys out and leave them on the floor they get told "we don't do that, we put them back!".

Shops aren't playgrounds and I'm increasingly annoyed how parents allow their kids to pull items out of boxes, touch and play with everything yet buy little. They believe its their right!!? Teach your child some discipline for their sake and learn from it.

I get the health and safety aspect and am mindful of this in shops. However you cannot remove all risk in life and my CS stores a lot of toys on the floor

No ones saying their child is removing stuff from packaging or advocating this as acceptable

I do wonder if a Dad would be scolded in the way mums sometimes are.

Oh my god everyone....she was about to put them back!! Have none of you been shopping with a toddler recently?? The shop assistant didn't need to be so rude and if there are toys in your shop it should be expected that children will play with them

tiredem, how was the assistant to know that OP was allegedly about to put the toys back?

she was about to put them back!!

I wasn't aware that shop assistants were supposed to be mind readers now.

Who knows how long it took for the child to put those toys on the floor without the mother even glancing at them.
More like the assistant has had too many parents allowing their children to mess up the shop and never putting anything back.

As I said before, just apologise to the woman, and pay more attention to your children in shops.

No, YA Not BU. This was a charity shop full of used goods. It sounds as though you were standing close by, aware and ready to put things away. Most of these comments sound a little over dramatic as though all hell would break loose if a couple of objects were left on the floor for a few moments. I think you are the only person who has proper perspective on the situation as you were the only person there. You felt annoyed by the shop assistants comments. You were certainly not 'wrecking the place'. That is clearly an over exaggeration, so THEY were being unreasonable. Also, most charity shops display toys at low level, for what reason???!

Isn't it amazing that she was about to put them back at exactly the same time the assistant felt the need to come over.

Its a small child playing with a few toys which are placed at child level in the shop(irresistible to a small child!)adult was right there to pick up..assistant could have at least waited to see if they were put back or not before jumping in with her comments!..IMO

She didn’t express herself very well but she had a fair point.

"It's really hard going shopping with a small child!"
Only if you have never experienced what hard actually is.

@Underhisi you tell me about your hardships and I'll tell you mine but that's for another post. When I take my small child to my local fara, I deliberately let him go to the toy section and pick up (and yes) even play with a selection of the toys. I do this as I then know which toys I might buy for him. Most normal human beings would naturally tidy up after themselves without needing to be told by a fraustated retail assistant. Others don't though and I realise that. And for all of those who you are suggesting that the op was not being a responsible parent for momentarily looking away for 8 seconds are totally TOTALLY unreasonable.

YABVU - I'm not sure how you could imagine otherwise. Teach your child to put things back.
Perhaps also keep in mind that the shop assistant would have been a volunteer and try to have a little humility.

I’m a frequent user of charity shops. If I have my children with me, I send them straight to the books/toy area for them to play so I can browse

Ha ha - unless that poster wasn’t being ironic/ sardonic ( in which case )

I don't live in the UK anymore.

When i read threads like this I am glad.

OP YANBU