Aibu with shop assistants comment 'wrecking the place'

[Harmonyrays]

Browsing in a large charity shop wuth a toddler pottering about. In the childs section, i was looking at books while she was looking at toys getting things out admittedlt leaving 3 or 4 on the floor. I was just turning aeound to pick them hp when an assistant came over and said 'could you please not let your child wreck the place'.

Thoughts please as im annoyed at the comment as shes a very yound child who was doing what kids do, i was close by ready to put things away and was going to help the charity by buying several items.

God, what a bunch of repulsive comments. MN at its absolute po-faced, self-righteous, pompous best. And I’ve only read the first and last pages!

Your mistake, OP, is not keeping your child at home, ensuring that they can make the Sunday lunch and sew their own clothes before the age of 2.

You need basic parenting classes. My oldest is in his mid-40's and my youngest in his 30's and we close to as very small town. All the children whose mothers let them use the local shops as their playground have grown up to be losers. Every single last one. I'm not sure if it's genetic or bad parenting

This comment is absolutely hilarious, as is the complete over reaction on this thread. Come on seriously??? You believe the OP needs parenting classes because she let her 1 year old get out two teddies and a small tray in a charity shop ? I know it's not ideal, but it's hardly the worst parenting example. Get a grip people!!

The comments yesterday about rabbits and cats and everyone being bullies were much more entertaining.

I don't agree that the OP needs parenting classes. But I'm not sure that the reaction saying the OP needs parenting classes is so much a reaction to the AIBU as the entitled and immature reaction of the OP on the thread. Based on the original message, the OP seems rude and entitled. But then the answers the OP put later on are just so cringe-worthy and pitifully defensive, you have to wonder about the person behind them.

MN at its absolute po-faced, self-righteous, pompous best.

Why, thank you. I do try.

@FemalePersonator

God, what a bunch of repulsive comments. MN at its absolute po-faced, self-righteous, pompous best. And I’ve only read the first and last pages!

Keep reading...

Mine often did this - we frequently didn't buy the items afterwards, and nobody ever complained. Sounds like a big deal over nothing - and the assistant was rude!

You need basic parenting classes. My oldest is in his mid-40's and my youngest in his 30's and we close to as very small town. All the children whose mothers let them use the local shops as their playground have grown up to be losers. Every single last one. I'm not sure if it's genetic or bad parenting*

You're casting aspersions about people you don't know - OP and people that live in your town. Rude and unnecessary.

He understood this as soon as he was able to walk. He would point and say please?

In Mandarin, Russian, Sanskrit, Arabic, Finnish and Hungarian, I hope. Otherwise he's a long way behind the average mumsnet child.

@ataleoftwothenthreethenfour do eloborate

@claudiaura seriously, hurt themself, contract an illness or worse over reaction much?

Best not leave the house then

Well it does seem a lot of fuss about nothing. Having been in retail management for over 30 years I know that it can be frustrating when parents let their children take things off shelves and don't keep an eye on them. You really should be keeping a better eye on your child.
I would say however that the sales assistant could well have been either a volunteer, someone who may have learning difficulties, a prisoner being rehabilitated or someone doing community service. So not someone you might expect to have been especially well trained in customer service.

Never quite understand the mentality that kids shouldn’t be allowed to touch things in shops. Do we, as adults, not touch things that we probably have no intention of buying, to “see what it feels like” to see what it does? It’s a charity shop, the things in there are second hand, and what’s more they’ve been donated FOR FREE!!! If the small child was throwing things around I would understand the rudeness of the woman, but just looking? No, she was rude. Being a volunteer doesn’t give her the right to be a rude bitch.

When I touch things in a shop I don't chuck 4 of them on the floor. And I'm capable of putting them back neatly where I found them. A 1 year old isn't.

I see plenty of people knock clothes off hangers and pretend like they haven’t noticed it fall!!

I work in a large retail store and it's all part of the deal. Parents go shopping with kids. Charity workers are mostly voluntary so won't receive the same level of customer service training as other retail staff get. My mum practically lives in the charity shops and buys a lot of toys, my son and my niece and nephew pull the place apart and play with toys while we have a look around and the staff are AMAZING with them.

Fucking hell this forum.

Op YANBU. You were going to pick them up. She wasn't to know, but She could have phrased it better.

I let my 1 year old walk around freely. She does touch the occasional toy to have a look, and will either put it back herself or I will. If I 'strap her in the buggy' she screams blue murder so I'll let her have a wander as she's not hurting anyone.

@HarmonyRays

YANBU OP. A toddler taking out a couple of toys isn’t the end of the world. You were right there, and as others have said, the shop assistant jumped the gun (rather rudely).

To all the Perfect Pollies With Perfect Robotic Children on this thread:

Part of parenting/ socialising toddlers is that you have to take them out, and they will,- as a normal part of child development, undertake the behaviours that you need to correct. When toddlers do these things, parents can correct them and they can be taught social norms, manners, appropriate behaviour etc.

This is what “being a society” is- it’s about living side by side with people at all life stages, of all abilities and all neurotypicalities.
Living in society alongside toddlers, means for a while, most parents will have to deal with small children running away, shouting indoors, climbing on furniture, touching things etc. And as a member of society- you will have to witness them.

It’s not bad parenting if a child does these things- it’s bad parenting if you’re not responding to and correcting these behaviours.

Here’s a thought-
I was in a shop today with my toddler in a buggy. A very elderly woman was taking up an aisle, leaving on a walking stick with a huge handbag over the other arm, and walking very very slowly and coughing, frequently, and phlemgmily. She was talking at the top of her voice to her companion, and kept repeating herself over and over. She was, honestly, in my way, and she was causing an issue with shoppers building up behind her, and her noise level was inappropriate for indoors.

Should she have stayed at home, given her lifestage makes her behave in ways inconvenient to others? Should her companion taking care of her been chastised for not putting her in a wheelchair wheee she could be wheeled around faster and more conveniently for others ?

No of course not. Because we’re a compassionate society that respects age and the challenges that come with it. It’s hypocritical to not extend that respect and courtesy to the very young, who are equally unable to control themselves and whose caregivers are very often doing the best they can.

Mumsnet is a cold fucking place sometimes.

I was going to answer YABU. I then read the responses and didnt want to be one of them!!
I was at work the other day and pointed out that someone couldnt park in the disabled spot. She was incredibly defensive as she was dropping off items for a sale. I was FUMING at her response. I was being nice about the whole thing aswell. Didnt post in here though, because sometimes we have to take it on the chin!

Amen SheepofWallSt

Lmao at perfect pollies. I’m sure some of the commentators are on a wind up, possibly lying-or are they just extreme micro managers?

The worst case scenario here (which didn’t happen) is a broken toy and people aren’t half getting their knickers in a twist over the idea of it.

To those of you advocating strapping kids in buggies until theyre school age do they not protest?
My DD didn’t but she was very lazy and still hates walking anywhere even now.
I posted upthread I thought YWBU In the shop but I’d like to caveat that with even so it’s hardly the parenting fail of the century and getting parenting classes for it would be bonkers.

YANBU, kids all play with toys at the op shop, as long as you pack them up usually no one cares.

She was rude, perhaps having a bad day. I would probably have raised an eyebrow and then ignored her.

YANBU OP.

Geez, the responses on this thread

OPs small child took a couple of toys off the shelf to look at them. Mum had her back turned, when saw what had happened was planning to put them back until rude jobsworth jumped in first.

Hardly crime of the century and most parents would have been in exactly the same position at some time or another with small children.