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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu with shop assistants comment 'wrecking the place'

614 replies

Harmonyrays · 16/03/2019 10:59

Browsing in a large charity shop wuth a toddler pottering about. In the childs section, i was looking at books while she was looking at toys getting things out admittedlt leaving 3 or 4 on the floor. I was just turning aeound to pick them hp when an assistant came over and said 'could you please not let your child wreck the place'.

Thoughts please as im annoyed at the comment as shes a very yound child who was doing what kids do, i was close by ready to put things away and was going to help the charity by buying several items.

OP posts:
LilQueenie · 17/03/2019 18:04

yanbu if they feel a toddler is going to stand by and only look then they need their heads examined. I would go back in or write a letter of complaint. Tell them to put their toys higher up out of reach. Better yet keep glass ware even higher so they wont get taken to court when a child has an injury.

DD often plays with the toys a little but knows to put them back if we are not buying them. Most kids do. One charity shop has put a note up asking children be supervised at the toy section. no problem. the assistant was rude and tbh comes across as very child unfriendly.

JimCricket · 17/03/2019 18:06

As a shop owner (& mum myself) I’d be mortified if a member of my staff spoke to someone like that but, having said that, it is very irritating when parents let children tear about the shop like without at least trying to control them - you can always see the irritation in others customers faces too

cdtaylornats · 17/03/2019 18:07

It's a child playing until someone trips on a toy then it's a legal problem.

smilingontheinside · 17/03/2019 18:07

Sorry retailer here YABU children should be taught not to touch things that do not belong to them especially in shops. Maybe not the best comnent from the assistant but they are usually volunteers so not trained necessarily in how to deal with customers in this situation. I really am staggered at the amount of parents that think it is ok for their children to manhandle products in stores. Children should be supervised at all times and if not able to stand with you then in a pushchair or similar out of harms way.

Underhisi · 17/03/2019 18:08

How does the toddler manage in other shops? Do they mess with everything in Tesco?

Tubs11 · 17/03/2019 18:09

Hold the phone! You let your one year old out of her buggy and she played with some toys?! It's a miracle she didn't trash the place and the police weren't called!!! Comments on here are ridiculously harsh. How much damage can a 1yr old do? Shop assistants comment was harsh (but I understand why she may have said this) but you could have said beforehand that you'll put away anything you don't buy and your daughter plays with. I've had some lovely experiences with shop assistants when I've given them the heads up if my toddler is kicking off in the buggy and needs out. It's a more pleasant experience for everyone and doesn't make you entitled. What makes people entitled is when they don't clean up after themselves and that includes folding clothes in dept stores... How many of those writing critical comments don't do that?

anniehm · 17/03/2019 18:14

Yabu, if they are too young to only touch one thing (handing it to you no doubt asking for it) then you need to either hold one hand or strap them into their pushchair. Its basic safety anyway, you had your back turned then someone could have grabbed your child, or they could have left the store on their own accord, it's happened, safety first. Mine are very close in age so it was reins for the elder and the buggy for the younger until school age.

Gone4Good · 17/03/2019 18:18

You need basic parenting classes.

My oldest is in his mid-40's and my youngest in his 30's and we close to as very small town. All the children whose mothers let them use the local shops as their playground have grown up to be losers. Every single last one. I'm not sure if it's genetic or bad parenting.

I kept my baby/toddler/small child close to me in a shopping cart, push chair or in my arms and interacted with them. I raised really good men.

Turnitaroundagain · 17/03/2019 18:19

I think she was rude. People need to be accepting of small children. If I worked in a shop I wouldn’t get my knickers in a twist because I had to tidy up a few toys. YANBU.

manicmij · 17/03/2019 18:20

Slightly different approach from the staff perhaps but then the same from parents. Don't let children take items off shelves. Or run about, shops are not playgrounds in spite of what some people with children think.

user1487194234 · 17/03/2019 18:21

I do think on a commercial setting a staff member would not speak to a customer like that 'customer is always right 'etc
Whereas different vibe in charity shop

lily2403 · 17/03/2019 18:22

Yanbu

You were on your way to pick them up. Sounds like the shop assistant went a bit ott

MamaSharkDooDooDooDooDooDooo · 17/03/2019 18:28

Why did you come on here to ask your AIBU when you clearly think you're not unreasonable at all?? How odd.

When the overwhelming majority think you were BU and you still believe you weren't it really says a lot about you. If it was me I would just concede the point and keep an eye on my child in future...

Sacredspace · 17/03/2019 18:33

I’m going to go against the tide and say your child was fine to have a little play whilst you were browsing. Why wouldn’t she? The assistant was a little unkind and intolerant in my opinion!

Pashal2 · 17/03/2019 18:34

The store worker was rude. You said you were about to correct the situation. You are the customer and the customer is ALWAYS right. Your child wasn't wrecking the place. That's a lie and exaggeration. Besides it's her job to get off her ass and straighten up the store anyway. No employee should ever speak to a paying customer in such a manner.

PCohle · 17/03/2019 18:40

But the shop assistant most likely wasn't an employee, she was a charity volunteer. And as she refused to buy anything OP wasn't actually a paying customer was she.

How was the volunteer to know the OP was "about to" tidy up?

Bettybeautiful28 · 17/03/2019 18:41

Someone asked about what does this child do in Tesco or in a toy shop. Where toys and packaging are brand new is a totally different situation to toys that have already been used. It makes no difference if these used toys are touched again. That’s my opinion. Yanbu. I’ve met so many grumpy older ladies working in charity shop. She might as well have said ‘in my day we would never have let kids behave like that.’

busyhonestchildcarer · 17/03/2019 18:52

Ignore nasty comments.doesnt sound like the child was wrecking the place.If he was fair enough but you were tidying them up so not a problem

liverbird10 · 17/03/2019 18:55

YABU.

jarhead123 · 17/03/2019 18:56

YABU

AlexaAmbidextra · 17/03/2019 19:08

I hope the vast majority of these MN who have nothing better to complain about don't ever move items around on the supermarket shelves to look for a better date or touch the fruit to see if it'a ripe etc.

Well of course we do but the difference is we don’t chuck it on the floor for the staff to clear up or for other shoppers to trip over. 🙄

kitty85 · 17/03/2019 19:12

I think the shop assistant was unreasonable not you or your child she didn't even give you a chance to put the stuff away

Original poster
Harmonyrays · 17/03/2019 19:19

Some interesting points made. Although the thread seriously derailed yesterday Grin.

I dont think i will put in a complaint, seems a bit harsh. I did say to the assistant that i would be picking up after her and not to worry. She seemed genuinely surpised so i expect they have had a rough time with kids in the toy department. Sure way to lose customers though.

To those of you advocating strapping kids in buggies until theyre school age Confused do they not protest?

OP posts:
CasanovaFrankenstein · 17/03/2019 19:21

Not unreasonable - so long as you were putting them back after. She was a bit fast to complain I reckon.

Mymomsbetterthanyomom · 17/03/2019 19:25

I'm glad you raised gentlemen and are still close with them.And hopefully they've given you some grandbabies!❤

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