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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu with shop assistants comment 'wrecking the place'

614 replies

Harmonyrays · 16/03/2019 10:59

Browsing in a large charity shop wuth a toddler pottering about. In the childs section, i was looking at books while she was looking at toys getting things out admittedlt leaving 3 or 4 on the floor. I was just turning aeound to pick them hp when an assistant came over and said 'could you please not let your child wreck the place'.

Thoughts please as im annoyed at the comment as shes a very yound child who was doing what kids do, i was close by ready to put things away and was going to help the charity by buying several items.

OP posts:
staceyflack · 17/03/2019 10:42

Wow... how the heck has this post pressed soooo many buttons. Rummage... rummage... rummage. Jumble sale... charity shop... primark... its all the same to me. Sorry that agitates some people. Ps. Rummage.

lostfrequencies · 17/03/2019 11:21

God a lot of these responses are totally OTT. I agree with you that the shop assistant was rude.

lostfrequencies · 17/03/2019 11:23

Okay so I based my response on the first 20 or so posts. I didn't RTFT. Now I've started to have a read back and have no idea what happened Confused

Namechangeforthiscancershit · 17/03/2019 11:26

lostfrequencies Grin understandable! It all went a bit nuts...

notsmartenough · 17/03/2019 11:26

Rummage? That just shows a basic lack of respect.
It does not matter if I go into John Lewis, Tesco, Primark or a charity shop, I leave things as I find them.
Do Primark stores start the day with clothes all over the floor?
I would assume not. Nor do charity shops.
Someone has to tidy up after you.

FlyingTingTing · 17/03/2019 11:36

YABU and if you'd decided you weren't BU why post on this forum? Hmm

Dothehappydance · 17/03/2019 12:21

Surely rummage is just a turn of phrase. I would take it to mean just a bit of a look, here and there. Not turning everything over and chucking it all over. Some people seem to have taken objection to the word, when maybe it isn't being used in quite the same way as others would.

staceyflack · 17/03/2019 17:18

Yes... 'dothehappydance' rummage is a turn of phrase that, 'notsmartenough' has got the wrong understanding of. I didnt say i would leave stuff messed up, chuck stuff on the floor or damage anything! I am very respectful of all people in all jobs (mostly). Ps. RUMMAGE..

jillb55 · 17/03/2019 17:25

I think the shop assistant was rude. She could easily have come over, put the toys back in the box and explain that, for safety reasons, the toys must stay in there. She didn't to behave in such a way.

Jr567673 · 17/03/2019 17:27

I agree that she may have been exaggerating with 'wrecking the place' and perhaps could have chosen her words better but I also agree with Pps that you shouldn't have let your child take things off the shelves. I know it's difficult when they're into everything but that shop assistant is probably had enough of picking things up

mrsdaz · 17/03/2019 17:34

I disagree - you are right to be annoyed. I’ve been in many a charity shop that has buckets with toys in, to be able to see them you have to take some out!! It’s like a jumble Sale in some of those shops so you have to rummage to find what you want!

MissBax · 17/03/2019 17:37

I'm gonna go against the majority - it's totally normal to let your kid look at (and handle) the toys, so you can see what they like and subsequently purchase.
I can understand if you'd both walked away leaving them on the floor but if DC was still looking at them when she came over then she is being ridiculous. She sounds very uptight.

havingtochangeusernameagain · 17/03/2019 17:37

I think the shop assistant was rude. She could easily have come over, put the toys back in the box and explain that, for safety reasons, the toys must stay in there. She didn't to behave in such a way

Why should she put the toys back in the box? Entitled parents, much? As I said above, sales staff are not slaves. Neither are waiting staff. And neither are library staff. Tidy up after your own kids

cantbebotheredtoday · 17/03/2019 17:41

Charity woman was wrong. End of.

cantbebotheredtoday · 17/03/2019 17:42

Also what happened on this thread? Seems it went a bit mad Confused

Dexra · 17/03/2019 17:43

Yanbu. If she had a problem she could have politely asked you to deal with it.
Ignore the posters who read into your post things that you never said and who think they're therefore justified in giving you a verbal kicking. 400 years ago they'd have been seeing your 'subversive' behaviour as proof that you're a witch and burning you, but today there's only AIBU where they can vent their spleen.

FullOfJellyBeans · 17/03/2019 17:44

Rummage? That just shows a basic lack of respect.

Of course you rummage in a charity shop - especially through the toys. They aren't all neatly out on display you have to shift through to see the ones at the bottom and it's fine to have a little play. You just don't get in the way of where people are walking and put them back when you're done. Totally standard.

YoThePussy · 17/03/2019 17:45

Amused with the comments that it is acceptable in a library to drag all the books out onto the floor. Possilbly why all the books were wiped with meths after use. A thankless task saved for the library assistant who had been cheekiest to the librarian that day.

Arkenfield3001 · 17/03/2019 17:47

YAB totally U! I wouldn’t dream of letting a child of any age, however young, do that!
They are never too young to be taught
“Don’t touch, just look!” I managed to do so with two under twos, so you can too !!!

onegiftedgal · 17/03/2019 17:52

YANBU at all! The shop assistant is rude and needs to be taught some basic customer service skills whether she's a volunteer or not.
I hope the vast majority of these MN who have nothing better to complain about don't ever move items around on the supermarket shelves to look for a better date or touch the fruit to see if it'a ripe etc. If they do, then I guess that they are totally OK for the shop assistant to come over and be rude to them and make them feel small.
A few toys on the floor which she could have made a sale from is more important for her to worry about than the very reason she is employed there in the first place....charity - third world problems, homelessness, disease etc etc. She needs to find some perspective in her life.
Hope you didn't purchase anything op.

Mum2awesomekidsyah · 17/03/2019 17:55

URBU,the shop assistant was in the right

Underhisi · 17/03/2019 17:55

Yes she should know her place and be grateful that people like the OP are being so generous.

Tavannach · 17/03/2019 17:56

I think she was dramatic, like so many posters on this thread. Leaving 3 or 4 toys on the floor isn't wrecking the place. It's annoying, and I suppose there's a worry that someone might stand on them. But she's probably a volunteer without much practical training. It would have been useful for everyone if she'd helped your child pick the toys up and encouraged her to put them back in the box.

FullOfJellyBeans · 17/03/2019 17:57

Amused with the comments that it is acceptable in a library to drag all the books out onto the floor.

Errr in the children's library yes you get a few books out, sit on the floor and read them, then put them back afterwards. OP'sDD had got a few toys out which she would put back later. Totally normal.

Bettybeautiful28 · 17/03/2019 17:57

There are so many nasty judgemental posts here. Op she didn’t handle that very well. Most charity shops I go into don’t seem to mind if you let your kids play with the toys - ultimately the ones they pick up are the ones they like and therefore likely to buy. Wow I’m glad im not friends with many of the unforgiving brigade.

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