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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have left DS asleep in the car?

268 replies

HelenLaBloodyAnnoyed · 14/03/2019 22:30

Today I took DS (14 months) swimming. The pool is only a two min drive from school so I thought he'd make it and then could nap after but the poor little thing was absolutely exhausted and snoring by the time I arrived at school. I parked in the school car park and waited until I saw children from my DDs class leaving, then sprinted to get her leaving DS in the car. The car was out of my sight for less than 30 seconds. WIBU?

OP posts:
youknowmedontyou · 15/03/2019 14:47

@rainbowunicorn good points!

ThePants999 · 15/03/2019 14:52

I genuinely don't know why anyone would ask MN for opinions on their parenting decisions.

If anyone takes anything away from this thread, it should be that. Thumbs up Jingle.

Eatmycheese · 15/03/2019 17:31

Oakenbeach no that’s not the same

I am quite philosophical and some might say relaxed about lots of things involving the rearing of my three children: that doesn’t extend to leaving my youngest who is only a little older than the OPs asleep in a car on his own out of my sight for any period of time. Period.

Being careful and vigilant doesn’t automatically connote anxiety. You are trying. To muddy the waters of this debate with something it doesn’t merit.
Leaving your sleeping baby alone in a car for the reasons this woman did is not defensible and not relaxed it’s bloody stupid and negligent. My saying that doesn’t make me overly anxious in any way shape or form it makes me a parent who in this instance doesn’t so a stupid thing

youknowmedontyou · 15/03/2019 17:51

@Eatmycheese do you walk backwards to pay for your petrol at the pay desk? Thereby taking your eyes of the car? Do you ever pick up a pint of milk at the back off the ship?

You to me are ridiculously OTT, doesn't make me wrong, makes me different and able like OP to assess a risk.

What do you think could happen in the situation described?

Eatmycheese · 15/03/2019 18:02

To be frank i’m quite happy to be deemed OTT by a buffoon that thinks it’s fine to leave their sleeping baby in a car out of sight to go and collect another child from school. Quite happy.

My being OTT won’t potentially place my child in needless harms way and that’s good enough for me. If anything happened to them and I’ve not been instrumental in creating a part of that scenario then I can’t be held to blame.

Mississippilessly · 15/03/2019 18:08

Wow. How deeply unpleasant you sound Eatmycheese. Name calling is so unnecessary.
Every parent makes calculated risks. How you calculate them varies but we ALL take risks.

OP I dont think you did anything wrong. Tho I posted something similar and people got very rude. I learned to not ask MN for advice cos some people are bat shit crazy

youknowmedontyou · 15/03/2019 18:12

@Eatmycheese you can't seem-to answer the question though.... points to massive anxiety projecting into your children, poor poor things.... helicopter parent to the extreme!

I presume you also sit by their beds while they're asleep ...... just in case... you never know!!

Must cost you a fucking fortune in cotton wool.

Keep going ....over anxious children will often turn into over anxious adults due to their parenting

CrohnicallyEarly · 15/03/2019 19:19

@ThisMustBeMyDream so 'really inconsiderate' counts as pious vitriol, does it? I can understand you not wanting to get your children out of the car, but are there really no other spaces that are within view?

I'm just basing my opinion on the experiences of my late SIL, who often found blue badge spaces filled with cars with badges displayed and occupants inside, which could make the difference between a successful and unsuccessful trip for her.

CrohnicallyEarly · 15/03/2019 19:22

In this, 'you' refers to the disabled badge holder.

To have left DS asleep in the car?
CrohnicallyEarly · 15/03/2019 19:23

Obviously I don't think you'd get a fine for paring in a private car park blue badge space, but it's clear that leaving the disabled child in the car is technically misuse.

Barrenfieldoffucks · 15/03/2019 20:01

But cheese, what risks in particular are you concerned about in the case of the OP?

Eatmycheese · 15/03/2019 20:01

Again if I’m deeply unpleasant because I don’t leave my sleeping baby in a car to go andncollect another of my children from school then that’s fine by me

I’ve had my mental health questioned, been described as OTT and needing to take medication for being critical of what’s I see as slipshod parenting but the minute I someone an insult I’m deeply unpleasant

Bunch of hypocrites

I don’t leave me baby in a car to get petrol. I ether use pay at the pump or take him with me.
I don’t leave my baby in a car or at home on his own to pop to the shop for a pint of milk for something else innocuous. I take him with me.
I certainly don’t leave them in a car to get my other kids from school because they are asleep

I accept that there are many aspect of parenting that are a question of style and approach. I have no problem with this. I do have a problem with the situation as described the OP. I stand by my comments that it is lazy and stupid and I will never think otherwise.

If you don’t like it then tough.

Barrenfieldoffucks · 15/03/2019 20:14

It was the name calling people were referring to as unpleasant.

But you still haven't explained exactly which risks you are mitigating? Especially when your alternative is carrying a child across a carpark?

youknowmedontyou · 15/03/2019 20:20

But @Eatmycheese what do you think might happen?

Really what is it?

youknowmedontyou · 15/03/2019 20:24

@Eatmycheese do you leave baby in bed upstairs alone.... ?? That's a risk? Upper level, unable to climb stairs, house fires more likely than forecourt petrol fires.... do you agree?

When you carry your child, do you ever wear heals, even one inch that's a risk?

When you take you're babies to soft play are they always less than 30 seconds away?

KimchiLaLa · 15/03/2019 20:27

TBH I wouldn't have but only as I freak out about these things and am getting more anxious as I hear more and more about random strangers talking to kids outside our local school.

Mississippilessly · 15/03/2019 20:27

Why are you being so aggressive? Why are you calling people names?

This is so similar to a thread I started its untrue.

youknowmedontyou · 15/03/2019 20:38

*I’ve had my mental health questioned, been described as OTT and needing to take medication for being critical of what’s I see as slipshod parenting but the minute I someone an insult I’m deeply unpleasant

Bunch of hypocrites*

After you name called...... which leads people to think you have issues!

buckeejit · 15/03/2019 20:39

Yes to car, no to garden for me

barkinatthemoon · 15/03/2019 21:06

Absolutely fine. Obviously would be different if you said you parked up outside Tesco to do a weekly shop and left him for an hour, but sounds like you were gone (with car still in sight) for a matter of minutes and I really don't see the issue. No different to leaving them in the car to get petrol.

cheaperthebetter · 15/03/2019 21:11

I done it with my DC popped to cash point , someone rang the police and said I'd left the DC in the car to go on a spree Grin. Police arrived as I literally got in my car, Police explained why they had come, I explained I had gone to cash point and didn't want to get 4 children out of the car under the age of 5, he totally agreed as cash point was 60 metres away also had to cross a busy road as there was no parking nearby, that was that and he went about his day as I did with mine Grin

Eatmycheese · 15/03/2019 21:41

I don’t stand over my baby’s cot
I didn’t for the other two

I just chose not to leave them in a car in a street fast asleep while I collect their siblings from school or nursery. Or a petrol station or a corner shop blah blah blah.

This is starting to get silly
You are all obsessed with making my look like the black sheep because I don’t do this. Of course carrying a child or leaving them in their cot isn’t the same as leaving them in a parked car and walking off where at some point you can’t see them or the car

Barrenfieldoffucks · 15/03/2019 21:44

But you still haven't said what you think will happen!

ThisMustBeMyDream · 15/03/2019 21:52

@chronicallytired. Do you have the experience of being the parent of a disabled child?
The badge is being used to secure my child's safety. This is not to benefit me. It is to benefit him. To take him out with his brother would cause him safety issues. Keeping him securely belted in, in a visable and accessible spot is the safest way for me to care for him in his scenario. He is not "waiting in the car for me". He is remaining safe. Additionally, I may still end up going to get him out if he was to show me his distress sign (which he is taught to do if he requires assistance in this situation). I am more than happy that using the blue badge is not in any way an issue here. Go and concentrate on the actual abuse of blue badge spaces.
What's the saying? Walk a mile in someone elses shoes... go and walk that mile in the shoes of a parent to a disabled child. Hmm

LaBelleSauvage · 15/03/2019 21:54

Laughing at someone claiming to be 'philosophical'. What a load of utter wank.