To have left DS asleep in the car?

[HelenLaBloodyAnnoyed]

Today I took DS (14 months) swimming. The pool is only a two min drive from school so I thought he'd make it and then could nap after but the poor little thing was absolutely exhausted and snoring by the time I arrived at school. I parked in the school car park and waited until I saw children from my DDs class leaving, then sprinted to get her leaving DS in the car. The car was out of my sight for less than 30 seconds. WIBU?

[tinysnickersaremyfavourite]

What I want to know is, according to mumsnet, at what age is it fine to leave a child alone in the car while you run into the corner shop for milk/pay for petrol/stick a letter in the postbox/ use the cash machine?

[Oakenbeach]

I would never leave my children in a car out sight!

Me neither... I hover over them all night whilst they sleep

[QueenofmyPrinces]

My oldest one is about to turn 5 and I would only just feel comfortable about leaving him to pop into a shop to grab some milk and I only do it if I can see my car from inside the shop.

[Jinglejanglefish]

30 seconds well about the same length of time I go to the loo I tend to leave baby in another room unsupervised in a safe place

Actually there was a thread a few months ago about putting a baby who was under 6 months down to bed before the parents go to bed. It went on for about 15 pages and descended into absolute hysteria, with posters suggesting that if you leave your child to go to the toilet or make a cup of tea you are irresponsible and your child will die of SIDS. It was one of the funniest threads I've ever seen, I genuinely don't know why anyone would ask MN for opinions on their parenting decisions.

[Jinglejanglefish]

tinysnickersaremyfavourite

Oh at least 16 years old I would say. Only then are they immune from the car bursting in to flames.

[SausageAndEgg]

I’d leave them in the house but not in a car, although wouldn’t judge anybody who did - just my anxiety wouldn’t let me do it personally. Maybe because I don’t trust people. Of course the chances of anybody nabbing them (which is what my brain tells me would happen) is obviously very very low.
Minus my anxiety id probably do it

[IncrediblySadToo]

Let her report it. SS have bigger fish to fry.

TA is a jobsworth lacking in common sense.

You left him for a minute while you took the others in, you didn’t leave him while you went shopping in Bluewater then to the pub.

The exploding car/baby stealing/alien abducting worriers will all tell you what a disgrace of a parent you are though. Best ignored.

[QueenofmyPrinces]

Yeah...... because them sleeping in their own room, next to their parents room, in a locked house is exactly the same level of risk as leaving them alone in a car out of sight. Don’t be so ridiculous.

Bit we get it - those posters who are happy to leave their young children in gardens and cars, completely out of their sight whilst they go and do something for 30 seconds or 2 minutes (of course it was only for that long....) are far cooler mums than the rest of us.

[SausageAndEgg]

@tinysnickersaremyfavourite I’m not sure but I remember a post a couple of years ago where somebody called me abusive and neglectful because I left my kids in the house alone whilst I nipped to the shop (which is literally 36 second walk there, I timed it). Maybe gone 10 minutes total. 15 if I stopped for a chat, which sometimes I did

[IncrediblySadToo]

tiny. About 25, but only if you check their mobile is fully charged and they know how to call the emergency services if the cotton wool starts dropping.

It’s FAR more risky leaving a 5 yo in a car than a sleeping 17 month old. People’s perception of risk is screwed.

[Hoppinggreen]

Well I might have done when my 2 were younger it to be fair but we have just all had an email from School asking us not to

[tangerine23]

Sounds fine to me.

[Thatsnotmyotter]

DS is ill currently and just wants to sleep. The other day I left him on the driveway whilst I popped in to see a relative, and (directly) outside the house whilst I got on with some jobs. He is yet to spontaneously combust.

[PrtScn]

I’ve left my baby in the car when paying for petrol. I was running on empty otherwise I’d have gone to one of the pay at the pumps (yes, poor planning on my part). I could see the car at all times and didn’t have to queue but still got mum guilt. If he falls asleep in his car seat I just bring the car seat into the house and hope he doesn’t wake up, no need to leave him in the car (I’m presuming people that leave them in the car to sleep have older children with seats that permanently stay in the car?).
I’d never leave an older child in the car, wouldn’t trust the little buggers. I make my niece and nephew come in with me (8 and 3).

I’d never go to the corner shop and leave him at home on his own though, but if he’s sleeping and I’m in the garden with the dog, I walk round with my iPad so I can see him on the camera we have.

[onemorecupofcoffeefortheroad]

The TA is being illogical. What exactly does she think the safeguarding risks are? I'd genuinely like to know.

If it's child abduction, apart from the fact they are so terribly rare, you'd have to be pretty dim to attempt to abduct a child from a locked car in broad daylight in a school car park at pick-up time. And even if you did, only Houdini could manage that in 30 secs.

If it's danger from other vehicles, there's more likelihood of something happening to your child whilst navigating people, other vehicles, etc. outside of the car than there is strapped inside. I was told by a PO when my children were small that it was safer to leave them strapped in the car when paying for petrol than take them with me across the station forecourt. Makes sense.

Yes okay another car could hit your vehicle in the 30 secs you were away from it but if you were standing right next to it with your child in sight it could also happen, or it could happen while you were in the car with your child next to you. There's a far greater risk of something happening outside of the car while navigating the car park although still pretty unlikely.

Our kids are all adults now but when they were little everyone I knew would leave their children in the car if they were asleep after a trip out - they have all survived without being abducted or the car bursting into flames. Every single one of them and their siblings too.

Far more danger crossing roads, negotiating other moving vehicles, walking across busy car parks.

[Yabbers]

@ThePants999 you beat me to that one!

@ThisMustBeMyDream

Technically the others are correct and the rules are clear about leaving a disabled person in the car. However, the spirit of that rule is to ensure people aren't dragging their disabled relatives along and using the spaces whilst leaving them in the car (looking at all the people who do this at our school😡).

In your situation I do exactly the same. To get her out of the car to take her into the store for a pint of milk is a huge task involving putting a wheelchair together and lifting her. These smaller stores have bugger all room for a wheelchair too. If anyone wants to challenge my use of her badge on this basis then let them walk a day in my shoes and see whether or not it is unreasonable to do so. Same when getting petrol. No way was I going through all that to take her into the kiosk. Perhaps @Hillaria and @Eatmycheese could advise how they would feel sitting behind me at the petrol station while I took ten minutes to do all that?

@HelenLaBloodyAnnoyed I wouldn't worry about it. Let whomever report you. Or maybe report them for getting involved in something which isn't their business.

[Callywalls]

Many years ago my Sis-in-Law left my dn in the car while she nipped into a shop for a few mins. Unfortunately, she had not secured the handbrake fully and as she was walking away the car started to roll down the hill it was parked on. Luckily, my dn (who was about 5 at the time) knew what to do and pulled the handbrake up - my sis-in-law saw it all happening and ran back to the car - he was absolutely fine, she, on the other hand, has probably still not recovered and this was about 18 years ago!!

[Yabbers]

@tinysnickersaremyfavourite
On MN? That would be 18, you know, the point you cut them off completely with no help financial or emotional, because they are adults now and your job is done.

@QueenofmyPrinces
Not cooler. But apparently a lot less stressed and anxious.

But neither does the fact you wouldn't do this make you any better than any other parent who would.

[Spidey66]

Safeguarding issue my arse. Like social services aren't busy enough without investigating someone leaving their sleeping baby in a car for less than a minute. Are you supposed to stay awake 24/7 watching over the cot?

[Barrenfieldoffucks]

Yeah I would do the car thing, and have. Wouldn't leave child behind to go to nursery though

[Schuyler]

The car I don’t have a massive problem with but the garden incident was irresponsible.

[werideatdawn]

Yabu. I don't even leave my husband in the car. It could blow up at any time. Know better, do better.

[Eatmycheese]

Convenience trumps safety and in that sense for some of you it appears easy to justify. That is appalling, quite causal risk taking, that some seem proud of. Dress it up with sarcasm and patting people like me on the head but it doesn’t change that. You are quite consciously and needlessly raising safeguarding issues.

If it was an acceptable thing to do, we would all see hordes of babies and young children left in cars on school and Nursery runs, asleep in cars on people’s drives, left in streets over from the corner shop, basically left to potentially fend for themselves while in a vulnerable state of sleep which seems to be the main driver for leaving them. We don’t. We shouldn’t.

[Barrenfieldoffucks]

Mine sleep in the car quite regularly, I keep an eye on them from the window 🤷

Likewise a small school car park, no Biggie.

[MoHunter]

I have left mine in the car occasionally for less than a minute but only where the car was in my sight e.g. car park to fetch a parking ticket, petrol station to pay etc. Personally I’d not feel comfortable leaving them where the car was out of sight. But would not judge you for doing it this way if it was 30 seconds only.