Is a teacher sending a personal thank letter to a child's home over stepping a boundary?

[BoobiesToTheRescue]

Or normal?

I was surprised when DS got a thank you card through the post today, hand written from one of his school teachers.

Probably totally normal, I was just wondering really.

[Flurgle]

I’ve dropped off stuff at homes before because it was forgotten and needed and not too far out of my way.
Once the mum even invited me in for tea so I assume she was happy with the overstepping.
This is why no one wants to teach now. Care not enough, care too much. Can’t win.

[use2229477284]

We'll, I'm the odd one out here! But if it happened to us I would feel a bit weird about it! That's largely because it's not a thing at DCs school (we don't, sadly, even get thanked in person with a quick - 'thanks for the gift', when we give end of term gifts we've spent ages making/colouring/searching the shops for etc...), And we never ever have thoughtful postcards etc....

I think it depends on context. If it was to child for something odd, I'd be worried, especially if he was being singled out as 'special'.. otherwise I expect it's all fine.

You r obviously worried/unsure, or you wouldn't have posted, so please don't be put off by all the people telling you you're nuts/OTT etc..! Let us have a little more info, and if everyone still says it's all fine etc... Then perhaps that's your answer

[LikeDolphinsCanSwim]

DSS got one from primary school once. We all thought it was lovely.

[spanieleyes]

When I taught Reception, I sent out postcards to all the children who were joining the school in September with Welcome to your new school", when I moved further up the school I sent out "welcome to my class" postcards. Children and parents all said how pleased they were to receive one!

[TotHappy]

I used to send congratulations cards after results day too...

[SachaStark]

Sigh.

Someone sent your child a card. How lovely. What the fuck is questionable about this??

I'll just go back to counting down the days until I leave teaching. None of us can fucking win with you lot anymore.

[CloserIAm2Fine]

FFS! Why is it inappropriate?

Teachers really can’t do right for doing wrong with some parents can they? (No I’m not a teacher, I just have huge respect for people doing a very difficult job that I know I could never do!) if they never sent praise then you’d complain that you only hear from them when DC has done something bad.

YABVU and need to get a fucking grip

[shitpark]

My ds' secondary school send cards for exemplary work and attitude. Normal I'd say, and the children like receiving them

[MitziK]

Standard practice in a lot of schools. It's even set up as a mandatory action on the computer system to remind you to send the note/card home when you input positive behaviour marks.

Works brilliantly, too - a lot of parents have remarked when they started receiving them, it was the first time that they'd been contacted where their kid wasn't in trouble. (when we did phone calls home, there would be quite a few answered with 'What's he done now?'.

Sometimes a couple of minutes on the phone saying they'd done something really well turned into half an hour the food in the canteen, the uniform policy, the homework workload, etc - so sending a card was more efficient, more appreciated by the kids and became the default position.

Not all kids can win a weekly award for good behaviour/etc, as they might still be a pain in the backside for 95% of the time. If you have one lesson where they are focused and fully engaged or one time when they were just blatantly nice and helpful rather than an argumentative little git you still want them (and parents) to know that they did really well.

[Itsmeeloise]

Thank you lovely teachers we are not worthy.
Amazing to hear that teachers make the effort to send out personal letters like this.

I'm quite sure that most children would be delighted to receive actual post and it would be a source of pride to be thanked/praised in this way.

As for any suggestion that it's some kind of data breach - poppycock!

[PerfumeandOranges]

I think I understand what you mean, OP although as other posters point out, it is about context.

Maybe make an appointment with the Head for a quick chat, just to voice your unease and give them the chance to let you know their thinking.

It is probably all above board but if you don't like it-and there is no one size fits all-some people won't like it- then a quick apology from the teacher concerned would mean that you have been taken seriously and feel happier. Happy parents mean happy schools!

[beebreath]

Speak to the Head Teacher

If you don't get anywhere then Chair if Governors.

If no luck definitely report to OFSTED

You could then go to a solicitors cause you get the first half hour free.

If all fails home educate

FFS - here's a handle to get a grip of

[ThatssomebadhatHarry]

LTB

[beebreath]

😂

[use2229477284]

I think everyone is giving the op hard time. We don't know the context, what the letter was about, why they sent it, whether other kids had one too, whether it's usual practice in the school, or why OP felt concerned enough to post here. Yes, it's probably nothing, but let's give OP a chance to come back to fill us in a bit more without us battering them...

[Alloftheboys]

Was it posted through the door by the teacher?
Is the teacher outside hiding in a tree with a pair of binoculars?
If yes to the second question then you have an issue. Otherwise just say well done to the child.

[WorraLiberty]

use2229477284 the OP's had over 2 hours to bother to do that and hasn't yet.

Fair enough they might be busy, but that's all the more reason to state what you're actually talking about in your opening post.

[toomanypillows]

😂
I have just handwritten 14 cards to send home tomorrow (written while waiting for my dinner to cook) because I took some students on a trip today and they were brilliant.

I really bloody hope that none of their parents are suspicious of my motives, which are simply to let parents know (in a personal and friendly way) how well their children behaved and conducted themselves

This is key stage 4!

Glad to hear that most responses are positive!

[SachaStark]

@PerfumeandOranges

[use2229477284]

Worraliberty - it's not exactly a friendly supportive thread to come back to!?

[Raspberry10]

YABU. We’ve always received them from teachers when they’ve had a Christmas gift. Basic politeness.

[Shambalawadeewadee]

Dd’s teacher sent a postcard to our house praising dd on her dedication to her GCSE coursework, we thought it was a really lovely gesture and so did dd.

[spanieleyes]

Possibly because everyone thinks the OP is being a bit of a wally!

[Clutterbugsmum]

My dc primary school regularly send out 'well done' etc postcards to children. It does 2 things the child get a positive message from there teacher and probably more important to the child they get something in the post address to them.

[Shadowboy]

Crikey you just can’t win as a teacher! You don’t send a card and parents think you don’t care. You take the time to send a card and parents think you’ve got some sort of obsession with their child.