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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Job interview after a long time but obese

92 replies

euphoria1040 · 14/03/2019 14:18

Hi everyone I was wondering if I would be unreasonable to ask for a hand hold . I am morbidly obese and at the moment a stay at home mum. My children are growing up and I have been on the look out for a part time job. I've now got an interview and quite frankly I'm terrified but mainly because of my weight. I have very low self esteem depression and anxiety which began following a divorce many years ago. I know I could easily do the job but I can't focus on any thing other than the fact I'm huge and I think the interviewer is going to take one look at me and laugh me out the building . I'm trying to find interview clothes and nothing is making me feel any better. I know getting a job will give me some self respect and confidence to break this vicious circle of self loathing . Would being overweight put you off employing someone . Ps I am addressing the weight but can't shift a few stone by the weekend ! Thanks all

OP posts:
BlueMerchant · 14/03/2019 19:59

Wear something that makes you feel confident. Put on a big smile and show them what you have to offer. Obese people are allowed jobs too! We all have our issues.( I'm both overweight and suffer with MH issues). The interviewer will also have his/her own issues too. We are all human.You are just as worthy and capable as anyone else there or you wouldnt have made the interview.

LuggsaysNotaWomen · 14/03/2019 20:00

Wolfairy have some lovely flattering plus size dresses.

Also between now and then try this meditation.

Breathe deeply and imagine a ball of light around your solar plexus. As you continue breathing imagine the ball of light growing so it starts to encompass you, then the space around you, the room, the building, the street, the country. Imagine the light morphs into a person shape (you) and tell yourself that this is your giantess self, your true big self, the one that holds all your love, competence, skill, ambition, loyalty and hard work. She is the one who will go to the interview and as you practice the image, imagine this large light self sitting in the interview and answering the questions, glowing with all your positive attributes.

Your body is not the entirety of you and is not what an employer is interested in. You can do this.

rockingthelook · 14/03/2019 21:10

Just go for it, be the best you can be on the day? Clean, smart and let them know you can do the job, unless you're working in an area whereby your weight would impede you or others you should have nothing to fear, if you get it , great!, if you don't, congratulate yourself on getting to an interview, don't go into a depression and eat more (easy to say, but not to do !) and beat yourself up , just think that if you can focus on some healthier eating in the present, by the time another interview comes along, how much more confident and self assured you will be then?, Best of luck :)

euphoria1040 · 19/03/2019 14:20

Hi guys me again , a big thank you to you all for your advice and well wishes ! Had a call this morning to say i GOTthe job ! Smile Thanks again everyone xxx

OP posts:
Bunchofparsley · 19/03/2019 14:22

Hurrah! Bloody well done. Xx

WFTisgoingoninmyhead · 19/03/2019 14:42

Well done OP. Well done you.x

maslinpan · 19/03/2019 14:48

That's fantastic! This is where Mumsnet can make such a positive difference.

JohnnyHatesJazz · 19/03/2019 14:53

Congratulations!

Bowchicawowow · 19/03/2019 15:30

Fantastic news. Well done to you!

stevie69 · 19/03/2019 15:33

Fantastic. I'm having a good day but this has made it so much better.

Well done you Smile

tiredvommachine · 19/03/2019 15:34

Well done op! FlowersFlowersBrew

DeadCertain · 19/03/2019 15:36

Brilliant, well done!

mummymayhem18 · 19/03/2019 18:16

Well done. I'm really pleased for you. I'm the same as you and would of had the same insecurities. Good on you! Congratulations 🍾

Schmoozer · 19/03/2019 18:18

Well done !!!!!!!

VincentVanGoughandhisear · 19/03/2019 18:21

As long as you are nice, clean and suited to the job you will be just fine 💜

Disfordarkchocolate · 19/03/2019 18:21

Congratulations, that's wonderful news.

beenhereages1 · 19/03/2019 18:29

Amazing news!! I'm just waiting on a call to see if I've got a job, feeling very anxious!

alwaysreadthelabel · 19/03/2019 18:43

I have recruited a lot and I don't care what you look like as long as you are clean and well presented! Dirty fingernails is a real bugbear of mine. So clean shoes, clean nails etc...... my main concern is can you do the job. Other than that I really couldn't care of size etc...

alwaysreadthelabel · 19/03/2019 18:44

Well I should of read the thread hahaha. Congratulations! Well deserved on the job.

Unfinishedkitchen · 19/03/2019 19:41

Sorry, but I think a lot of people here are telling you what you want to hear. For nice reasons but reality doesn’t back up what they’re telling you and deep down you know that hence starting this thread.

The reality is that yes you will be judged negatively by many even if it’s just a fleeting first impression (if you are as big as you say) before they move on to the second impression. Society is told everyday that fat is bad, slim is good. The interviewer has not been shielded from these messages.

Things are improving but people are discriminated in interviews everyday for their appearance be it based on race, ethnicity, accent, dress sense, visible tattoos, size etc.

However, most interviewers even if they do harbour some level of unconscious bias against obese people, will easily be able to overcome it if you make a big effort with your overall appearance. You must be very well groomed, light make up, short nails, well cut smart clothes, good hair cut/colour. Essentially if you look well maintened and healthy, any fear they have you may be unhealthy, off sick loads,not be able to keep up with physical stuff etc will be put to rest if you look healthy, smiley, confident, well groomed and say the right things.

Good luck.

As an aside, the fact you’re so worried about your weight indicates you really need to make efforts to lose it (in a gradual, healthy way).

2018SoFarSoGreat · 19/03/2019 19:45

congratulations OP. Well done. I'm really happy for you.

Unfinishedkitchen · 19/03/2019 19:58

Well I should have read the entire thread too and not just the first page. Well done!!

Redyoyo · 19/03/2019 20:00

Well done thats fantastic, best of luck when you start!

BejamNostalgia · 19/03/2019 20:03

I think you need to look at it this way, if an employer is so shallow they would turn down a qualified candidate who did a great interview just because they were obese, why would you want to work for them? They wouldn’t make a nice employer.

EvaHarknessRose · 19/03/2019 20:08

Bloody brilliant well done