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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to ask what to do now? The bank have given my details to abusive ex...

423 replies

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 14/03/2019 11:25

I made a complaint to the bank a few months ago that they had allowed an abusive ex-partner to open an account in my name and run up debt. Three weeks later, they were still allowing him to use the account (according to my credit file) and I complained again.

Today I messaged them to ask what was taking so long. They've just called and confirmed that they sent a letter, including all the allegations, to his address. An address that I have never lived at. The letter contains my new mobile number, at least, and possibly my new address.

He was very violent. He hit me when we broke up. I had to get the police involved and be escorted to work and home again for a while, had to work odd hours, he waited for me outside anywhere he thought I might be. I had to go into a refuge for a while and get a new number. It took months for me to feel calm that he didn't know where I was. I was treated for intense PTSD, and situational anxiety.

They knew this. I was explicit about this, and they knew it, and have detailed in the letter that they know they can only use certain contact details for me...

The bank complaints handler has apologised and said they will call back today as soon as possible. He shut down and wouldn't tell me any more.

What do I do now? I don't want to keep running, to live in fear again. It cost a lot to deal with it last time, there's a lot of inconvenience... I can't believe they've messed it up. I'm so scared he'll turn up here.

OP posts:
Thelieswetelltoourselves · 18/03/2019 20:11

Absolutely shocking.

cstaff · 18/03/2019 20:22

Oh my word OP. This is absolutely shocking. I can't believe the bank have not acted quicker or better than you have said. They need to get their fingers out of their asses and act on this rapidly. Stay safe OP.

TripleSeptic · 18/03/2019 20:26

Nationwide sent me £200 and a bunch of flowers for changing my address in error and sending my post to a neighbour. That's nothing compared to what is happening you. Keep receipts for everything and stay safe Flowers

bellabasset · 18/03/2019 20:34

Hi OP. Did you send your MP the details of this yet? I wondered if they might be able to speed up the response from Barclays on your behalf?.

RandomMess · 18/03/2019 20:41

This is just horrific I had big issues with my bank changing my name and it took ages to sort out properly. This is in another realm altogether AngryAngryAngryAngry

Valkarie · 18/03/2019 20:44

The financial ombudsmen will absolutely take this seriously, although they will probably want to see the bank's response to the complaint first. I would absolutely peruse them for all costs, so make sure you keep records. Do not let this drop.

Inaquandry06 · 18/03/2019 21:04

Wow I am gobsmaked at their monumental fuck up, especially at the impact it will now have on you, so sorry you are going through this OP Sad

Happynow001 · 18/03/2019 21:25

Sorry OP I can't remember if you've contacted your MP or the banking ombudsman? www.financial-ombudsman.org.uk/

Also start a spreadsheet and input ALL extra expenses you've incurred because of their muck-up and take care of the receipts so you have an updated idea of how you've been financially disadvantaged and see if your solicitor could recover these expenses in due course.

Also re the ICO: are you allowed to report Barclays now - they must be past the time they needed to report? Sorry if I've got that wrong. Stay strong OP.

SucksToBeYouHun · 18/03/2019 21:42

Sorry I've got no advice OP but this is horrendous and I truly hope it is sorted soon and you are safe Flowers

Poloshot · 18/03/2019 22:19

This is shocking, hope it all works out as positively as it can.

BlimeyCalmDown · 18/03/2019 22:45

sorry if this has already been answered but do you have a restraining order against him? If not get one asap. Flowers

Mehaveit · 18/03/2019 22:57

He's been seen at your house 3 times at the weekend.

So although you haven't been sent a copy of the letter yet you can be sure it contains your new address and he has acted on that information. That is the most serious of breaches.

Are you looking for a new home whilst away from your current one? Clearly you can't move back. Barclays should cover all associated expenses.

TooManyPaws · 18/03/2019 23:30

Going to an Ombudsman will definitely work though in the longer term. I've been both to the Financial and the Energy Ombudsmen and with the latter I went from Scottish Power chasing me for over a grand to them owing me money...

If you can, go into your MP's office or telephone them urgently. Can the police accompany you into the bank branch to make a fuss?

Good luck, OP. ❤️

Bowchicawowow · 18/03/2019 23:33

I still can’t believe that people are advising she should see the Ombudsman, her MP, the CEO of Barclays. Just see a very good specialist solicitor.

AnotherDIYSunday · 18/03/2019 23:43

Are you looking for a new home whilst away from your current one? Clearly you can't move back. Barclays should cover all associated expenses.

I seem to remember from a very recent thread that Anchor lives in her current DP's house (?) so moving may not be that simple. OP, do the police think your DP may be in danger as well?

I really hope you can obtain a non-molestation order and your bastard ex gets arrested. He should not be able to drive you out of your home once again and have you living in fear. Flowers

billybagpuss · 19/03/2019 07:52

I still can’t believe that people are advising she should see the Ombudsman, her MP, the CEO of Barclays. Just see a very good specialist solicitor.

Because the Ombudsman is the long established method of dealing with a complaint. She has already contacted the CEO and as such it is being dealt with by the executive team. However frustrating it may be these things take time and the Ombudsman has the power to hand out significant sanctions to the bank and award compensation to the customer. A solicitor may be necessary eventually if the complaint is not resolved to her satisfaction but OP is a long way off needing solicitor or court intervention yet.

MP's however are frankly useless.

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 19/03/2019 08:00

Morning all. Apologies, hotel last night had poor WiFi and I fell asleep.

DGRossetti is correct; there's no injunction against him being here because to get one, I'd have had to reveal where I live. He cannot be near me, but I wasn't here and therefore the policeman said the order wasn't breached.

I have contacted my MP, an associate of his has replied to say he is very busy right now but his office will contact Barclays on my behalf.

I don't think the FOS will look at this until Barclays have concluded an investigation or taken over eight weeks but I was reading in a panic last week and may have got that wrong, so I'll look into that and the journalist recommendations today, thank you. I've got a call with a solicitor this afternoon. I contacted a few but most wanted a copy of the letter to proceed. I was expecting one imminently so said I'd get back in touch when I had one.

I can't remember the other queries... I do live with DP, we own the house, but I don't know how safe I'll feel there now. It had been my lovely new start. I expect the police will advice on whether they think I should move, it feels too much to think about right now but it's probably a good idea. I may need to find a new job too, maybe somewhere totally new. But what stops this happening again if I do?

Work are uneasy because when I first returned to work from the refuge, he used to wait outside the main doors and scare people. He was removed by the police a few times but never charged with anything. On two occasions, he posed as someone having a meeting in our offices and asked people to contact me for him, which our security firm didn't like. My workplace has a high security level due to what I do, and they feel me being there now isn't the best idea. I do think they thought this would be over by now.

I've got my room here again tonight. I need to talk to the police again, and possibly Women's Aid. I hope Barclays get back to me today. I suspect if I could put this on social media, it'd be solved much faster...

I hope that all makes sense. What I wouldn't give for a clear head to deal with this.

OP posts:
AnchorDownDeepBreath · 19/03/2019 08:02

Although what everyone says about solicitors seems to match what they've said so far - they'd expect more paperwork and things before it gets to court level.

I will contact the Ombudsman again, and the ICO.

Thank you for all the comments, and the advice from people who work in complaints/banking Thanks

OP posts:
Halo84 · 19/03/2019 08:18

If he has already been to your home and work, then why would staying off social media make a difference now, other than him trying to contact you?

lololove · 19/03/2019 08:29

Oh lord, I'm so sorry you're, going through this.

I can't believe that they're taking so long in dealing too! Surely the very first thing would be to give you a sum of money or even pay it to a hotel for you directly so you are safe! That should be their priority, making sure you are SAFE AFTER THEIR COCK UP! The very fact they are not doing this above all else? I am speechless.

I notice someone mentioned Martin Lewis a few posts back.. He is very passionate at dealing with what is wrong and seems a really lovely man... Id agree that it might be worth an attempt at contacting him too as he may know sometjing we don't given his lines of work and he also has a bit of swing under his name too?

Bowchicawowow · 19/03/2019 08:50

The problem with the Ombudsman billybagpuss is they take forever to do things. The OP needs a more urgent solution.

Bowchicawowow · 19/03/2019 08:54

And billybagpuss you are way off the mark saying that a solicitor isn’t necessary now. They aren’t just there to represent people in court. In fact very few cases ever get to court. They can get things resolved quicker than an ombudsman and MP could in this situation...

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 19/03/2019 09:34

Someone at Barclays has sent me a copy of the letter.

Ironically, it's the same letter that they've been sending me about the fraudulent account for ages... a quite generic, "we've received your complaint about a fraudulent account" with a complaints leaflet. They've added a bit to the bottom of the letter saying they will update me by 19th March; and then a "Are your contact details up to date" section which says that they know they need to be careful about how they contact me and lists out all the contact information that they have for me.

It doesn't seem to be formatted quite right and it's not signed, so I don't think it's an exact replica of what I was sent, but at least I have an idea now.

OP posts:
DGRossetti · 19/03/2019 10:13

The problem with the Ombudsman billybagpuss is they take forever to do things. The OP needs a more urgent solution.

In terms of redress, the OP is constrained by having to go through Barclays own complaints procedures first before approaching the Ombudsman. Personally I wouldn't really give too much worry about that - the Ombudsmans only worry (looks at letter on wall ...) will be whether Barclays adhered to their own procedures in dealing with this, no matter how appalling the original incident.

billybagpuss · 20/03/2019 06:55

Did they come back to you yesterday OP?

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