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Original poster

to ask what to do now? The bank have given my details to abusive ex...

423 replies

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 14/03/2019 11:25

I made a complaint to the bank a few months ago that they had allowed an abusive ex-partner to open an account in my name and run up debt. Three weeks later, they were still allowing him to use the account (according to my credit file) and I complained again.

Today I messaged them to ask what was taking so long. They've just called and confirmed that they sent a letter, including all the allegations, to his address. An address that I have never lived at. The letter contains my new mobile number, at least, and possibly my new address.

He was very violent. He hit me when we broke up. I had to get the police involved and be escorted to work and home again for a while, had to work odd hours, he waited for me outside anywhere he thought I might be. I had to go into a refuge for a while and get a new number. It took months for me to feel calm that he didn't know where I was. I was treated for intense PTSD, and situational anxiety.

They knew this. I was explicit about this, and they knew it, and have detailed in the letter that they know they can only use certain contact details for me...

The bank complaints handler has apologised and said they will call back today as soon as possible. He shut down and wouldn't tell me any more.

What do I do now? I don't want to keep running, to live in fear again. It cost a lot to deal with it last time, there's a lot of inconvenience... I can't believe they've messed it up. I'm so scared he'll turn up here.

OP posts:
HotpotLawyer · 20/03/2019 07:38

Bloody Barclays.
Tne cumminication within the company is terrible. They once wouldn’t accept a letter sent by their credit card company Barclaycard, to my home address, as proof of address...

Anyway: obviously stay totally off social media and the press as you will scupper your own argument for the need for anonymity.

Persist through the correct channels and then if you get nowhere maybe try the consumer column in the Guardian.

So is it clear in the letter that they did give him your contact details / address?

Magenta82 · 20/03/2019 10:14

@HotpotLawyer
I'm no Barclays fan but they can't use their credit card bill as your proof of address precisely because it is theirs. They need to independently verify it, think how much trouble they would get if they didn't do proper money laundering checks? Accepting their statement is like saying "we know HotpotLawyer lives here because we know they live here"

SaveKevin · 20/03/2019 10:23

@AnchorDownDeepBreath
I am just watching Victoria Derbyshire show and there is someone from refuge on talking about tech abuse and protecting data. It seemed quite apt for you, I’m wpndering if there’s something they can do to help you.

Original poster
AnchorDownDeepBreath · 20/03/2019 10:29

Thanks @SaveKevin, I'll give that a watch as soon as I can.

I didn't really hear anything else from Barclays yesterday. I asked if I'd still get an update yesterday as the letter had said and was told I'd be updated as soon as possible. I get the feeling the complaint handler is a bit annoyed that I've contacted her every day.

Women's Aid are liaising with the police for me because it's starting to flare my mental health and I need to look after myself. They've all been lovely.

Someone wonderful from MN who works at Barclays messaged me that she'd raised this internally, too, so maybe I'll hear something today...

I want to go home. Ideally before all this happened. I'm so tired. Any little noise scares me right now... someone tried the hotel room door last night and I jumped out of my skin. I'm sure it was just a wrong room, but I'm so jumpy.

OP posts:
DGRossetti · 20/03/2019 10:38

Someone wonderful from MN who works at Barclays messaged me that she'd raised this internally, too

I doubt it was news to them ...

SaveKevin · 20/03/2019 10:40

Oh love Flowers
Your in hyper vigilant mode, it is exhausting. Its like prey animals constantly on the look out. It is tiring and all consuming.
I cannot believe how slowly Barclays are with this, yes the investigation as to how it happened will take time. But the fact they've just ignored the practical side right now, is absolutely disgusting. They should be protecting and supporting you whilst the investigation is taking place, not shrugging their shoulders and saying "can't do anything until we've done an investigation"

Motoko · 20/03/2019 11:23

Have they even mentioned anything about the fact that you're having to stay in hotels, offered to pay for that?

Original poster
AnchorDownDeepBreath · 20/03/2019 11:45

DGRossetti I doubt it was news to them ...

You might be right...

No, no mention of them paying for anything, they don't ask how I am or if I'm home or what's happening. Just repeatedly tell me they are investigating.

I have kept them updated anyway.

OP posts:
DGRossetti · 20/03/2019 11:51

My last employer - hardly a household name - had a social media team with alerts for any mention of their name across social media. It's inconceivable that Barclays haven't anything similar and bigger. After all, the effort they could have put into a being a half decent bank must be going somewhere.

Horsemad · 20/03/2019 12:41

Is your DP having to stay away from your home too OP?

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 20/03/2019 12:54

To echo what many other posters have said. This is outrageous, infact outrageous doesnt even come close to covering it.
No only is in a serious breach of confidentiality. Its also a potential safe guarding matter. If the complaints handler can't handle complaints. Why doesn't she go on the Dole. No one is forcing her to do the job.

DGRossetti · 20/03/2019 13:04

If the complaints handler can't handle complaints. Why doesn't she go on the Dole.

Maybe because they can only handle complaints according to what their boss says ? Just a thought ?

Original poster
AnchorDownDeepBreath · 20/03/2019 13:24

Is your DP having to stay away from your home too OP?

He's away with work at the minute. We are in regular contact, he is making sure I'm okay, and he has offered on numerous occasions to come back, but I don't need him too. He'd offer reassurance but he'd give up being trained in something really important for his career to do so, and his work were great when this initially kicked off too, so I don't want to disturb everything again.

It's a week tomorrow since I found out about the breach. I've heard nothing but constant reassurances that this is being investigated. Would it be reasonable for me to query what exactly is happening now? All my questions were ignored before.

I'm due an update from my officer or Women's Aid soon, maybe I'll see if there's anything else they can do, although they are already being brilliant.

OP posts:
IncrediblySadToo · 20/03/2019 13:38

I’ve only just seen your thread, I’m SO sorry you’re going through this.

The casual way Barclays are dealing with this is utterly disgraceful. They REALLY don’t get it do they? I hope some authority manages to make them see just how bad this is. You deserve monetary compensation & a SERIOUS amount of it, but there’s really nothing they can do to adequately compensate you for this monumental fuck up. Incompetent bastards.

How is your DP coping?

Is there anything at all we can do to help you mentally? It’s an odd question I know, but I don’t know how else to phrase it. I’m worried about your safety of course, but I’m equally worried about you coping ok.

🌷

SleepWarrior · 20/03/2019 13:41

This is bonkers.

A similar thing happened to me (different bank), but my exh wasn't dangerous so it was just a minor annoyance. He was removed from my main account but had to give them his new address to send a confirmation letter to. Naturally they changed the contact info for ALL my accounts to the new address he gave them.

Given the number of people on this thread
who've said similar it sounds like its a reasonably common occurrence to screw up on information sharing when one partner comes off a joint account.

OP, make sure you keep a record of all the extra expenses this is causing - document every cafe trip, hotel, but ride, missed day from work, clothing purchase because you couldn't get back home etc. Keep it all as a spread sheet with scanned copies of receipts if you can.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 20/03/2019 13:46

Would it be reasonable for me to query what exactly is happening now? All my questions were ignored before.

It would be entirely reasonable. A week!!!! Fuck.

This is terrible, they should have come back to you by now. I'd get on the phone to your contact and (politely) raise hell.

Do they know you are living out of a suitcase in a hotel because you're too scared to go home? Bloody outrageous. And unacceptable. And yes, they need to cover your costs for every single thing.

DeepfriedPizza · 20/03/2019 13:50

This is shocking!!
I hope you hear from them today!

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 20/03/2019 14:17

What also utterly baffles me is.

Why are they making themselves unappealing. If I or anyone on this thread were looking for a new bank. We certainly wouldn't be going to Barclays

DGRossetti · 20/03/2019 14:17

If I or anyone on this thread were looking for a new bank. We certainly wouldn't be going to Barclays

I could have told you that 37 years ago ...

ColdCrumpetsandButter · 20/03/2019 14:30

I'm astounded that Barclays are being so casual about this!! This is disgusting. Complain to everyone and loudly. They've potentially put you in a very vulnerable position. I hope the Police contact them too.

Whereareyouspot · 20/03/2019 14:31

OP so sorry you are going through this

I had an appointment at Baclays this afternoon to open a new account and I’ve just cancelled it after reading this

Utterly appalling that they aren’t ringing you with updates- tbh the chief exec should be handling your case persoanlly it’s that serious.

So glad the police and WA are supporting you.
Are you still at the hotel and has he been spotted at home/work again?

AintNobodyHereButUsReindeer · 20/03/2019 15:08

I'm stunned that Barclays are being so blasé about this, this is no small error! Your ex sounds dangerous Sad

GallicosCats · 20/03/2019 15:30

Does the Telegraph still do Dear Jessica? She'd put a rocket up Barclays' collective arse like nobody else.

Daisymay2 · 20/03/2019 16:03

Sadly Jessica retired at the end of February. She was excellant and really helped me out on one occasion- with no publicity. However, I needed to have exhausted all I could do with the financial institution before she would look at it. I assume the other journalists would be the same.

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