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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Or is this RIDICULOUS!!! - Wedding

407 replies

HappyHattie · 14/03/2019 10:16

I get married in 12 weeks time.

I booked a hairstylist over eight months ago! After careful consideration...etc. (I’d heard good things about this salon/ read reviews online).

I asked to come in for a trial earlier but was told no, not until 2-3 months before- this seemed to be standard practise amongst wedding hair stylist...so fine.

Went for my ‘trial’ the other day (keeping in mind that it’s a stately home wedding, and I have two very shy under 10 flower girls looking forward to getting their hair done, so I want the morning getting ready to be chilled out...etc)

The woman I’d expected (heard good things about) was no longer there. The woman who did my hair was...not right. I’m not even kidding. My mother (who came with me) had to go for a walk, she felt so uncomfortable and some of the things the salon staff were saying 🙄.

Also, heavily tattooed (sleeves down both arms and neck). Long black acrylic nails- absoloutley wouldn’t look right in any getting ready pics. And my hair started falling out 30 mine after I left 😒

Not an option. So I rang about 20 other wedding hair stylists yesterday to be told...sorry we book like a year in advance. Which is fair enough, but if none of them offer trials until 2-3 months before the date, then what the hell are you supposed to do if your trial goes horribly???

You have no other choice!!!

Short of not getting a hairstylist (and we need one)...I have no idea what the hell to do!

OP posts:
Thread gallery
12
llizzie · 15/03/2019 22:39

extraordinary fuss! Is this really what getting married is all about these days? You save up all your lives to spend money on fancy hairdressers and 'practice runs' then scrimp afterwards to pay for it all. What is more important, the ceremony with all your friends around you or to look like a royal? With all the putty, mousse, hair spray and conditioners available surely you do not have to go through all this stress?

Ask yourself this: how many hours have I had to work to pay for it all?

MatildaTheGreat · 15/03/2019 22:55

Ask yourself this: how many hours have I had to work to pay for it all?

This^^ and when did weddings become more about the instagramableness and less about the happy ever after?

Linzbe · 15/03/2019 22:59

If you're still looking, where abouts are you? If you're in Sussex I know of plenty of fantastic mobile hairdressers!!

Sara107 · 15/03/2019 23:02

Wearywithteens, the only sacraments in the Church of England and other Protestant churches are baptism and holy communion- within the Catholic Church there are 7 sacraments including matrimony. I don’t remember all the theology behind it. Of course marriage is a commitment but, depending on your beliefs it is not necessarily religious in any way - it is an institution of civil law which some people choose to have blessed within their religion, or not.

Mrsmadevans · 15/03/2019 23:06

Why did your hair start falling out OP ?
I think find out of any of your friends know a hairdresser who can help .

nometal · 15/03/2019 23:25

My wife spent precisely nothing on hair dressing for our wedding. Apart from a bit of shampoo and conditioner in the shower before she got dressed.

Looked fantastic. Mind you, she she has naturally curly blonde hair and suits the just dragged through a hedge backwards natural look.

Vynalbob · 15/03/2019 23:29

Amused people talking about not wanting tatoos precious of the OP (which it is a bit) and ignoring my hair started falling out.

Your allowed 2 be a bit precious...ring around for one or two travelling stylists..then you choose the background.

corythatwas · 15/03/2019 23:44

Yes it’s one day but it’s special and I think every bride is entitled to be a bit princessy about their wedding. Why not?

errrr… because you want your family and bridesmaids and perhaps even the groom to have happy memories of your wedding day and memories of someone being princessy are seldom the most happy ones?

because you want your groom to think you are so happy to be marrying him that everything else dwindles into significance?

because you are so happy to be marrying him that everything else dwindles into insignificance?

because the wedding isn't about you (singular) but about you (plural)?

manicmij · 15/03/2019 23:47

Goodness are you planning on a full length feature film about your wedding with all the fuss about "getting ready". Find other hairdressers, eg mobile who do wedding day visits. There must be someone around your are. Give them a tryout before booking for the day. It's a hairdo and by the sound of all the faffing going on you will probably have it covered with a full veil anyway.

PregnantSea · 16/03/2019 02:34

The part about her having tattoos and long nails is by the by. "wouldn't look right in getting ready photos" is a bit ridiculous.

But if you don't like how she did your hair then this is a problem. Don't use her if you weren't happy with the results.

Can you ask your normal hairdresser to do it? My mother did a make up artist qualification and the wedding hair portion took all of three hours. That was it, done. So obviously a more experienced person is preferable but there are an awful lot of hairdressers out there who will have done this course and could step in.

HarrysOwl · 16/03/2019 06:25

I see your point. I detest tattoos and wouldn’t want them in my wedding photos.
I completely understand and agree. It’s not judgemental

Have you name changed, OP? Grin

Rockmysocks · 16/03/2019 06:29

Maybe the hairdresser wouldn't want to be in your photos, not the right image for him /her?

Rockmysocks · 16/03/2019 06:42

Oh Matilda your getting ready pictures are priceless. Love the classy hanger the judgy pants are on. Have you kept the bra and pants, wrapped in tissue in a lovely box? Maybe one day you can pass them on to your daughter or son (must not be discriminatory) when they get married.

sighrollseyes · 16/03/2019 07:08

Are you my sister .... wedding planning warpath bridezilla!
There are literally millions of hair dressers across the country! And sorry but you know what no one will care about hair.... you will not remember it, guests will not remember it. Chill!

PhryneFisher · 16/03/2019 07:09

When you say your hair fell out, do you mean the style fell out or your actual hair??

Because that for me would be a far bigger game changer than whether the hairdresser fits with your obviously very specific ideals of how someone not even invited to the wedding, just charged with making you look your best, should look 🙄🙄🙄.

burritofan · 16/03/2019 07:36

. Yes it’s one day but it’s special and I think every bride is entitled to be a bit princessy about their wedding.
You know "princessy" is not usually complimentary? (Neither is "entitled", which is what the OP is being.) You may as well write "every bride is entitled to be a bit cunty". Which they are not.

onegiftedgal · 16/03/2019 07:51

She sounds vile op, physically and petsonally and I'm not surprised that you are horrified by her appearance and general manner. I imagine she's also got the huge fake eyebrows slapped on her face looking like two Hitler taches. .... (waiting for the MN eyebrow brigade backlash now).....
The fact that she's done a bad job just sums her up.
I make bridal gowns and meet a lot of brides. The best, most reliable stylists tend to be the self employed/ mobile ones or the fab retired 'older' ladies shall we say. They come to you on the day and it's all very relaxing etc.
I would personally never trek to a salon on the actual day - always have them come to you.
You could also see if anyone knows a hairdresser who used to be in the profession who would like some extra cash.
I hope you find what you're looking for op.

forestafantastica · 16/03/2019 08:24

Yes it’s one day but it’s special and I think every bride is entitled to be a bit princessy about their wedding.

Because every girl deserves the experience of watching her best friends roll their eyes and sneak into the toilet at her wedding to mutter 'is she ever going to let up?' and there is nothing as romantic as seeing that look of stress on your loved one's face as he hopes this day will be over soon and his partner will go back to being a normal person.

Those are the memories you'll cherish as you sit at home eating ramen while you try and pay off your credit card.

OhDearGodLookAtThisMess · 16/03/2019 08:34

You can always rely on MN to be predictable, at least!
Someone posts asking for suggestions to solve a problem, and, as usual, everyone piles in to have a go about her side-comment something else.
OP, I don't think YABU. Sleeve tattoos (or any very visible ones) are quite a statement, and many workplaces still have policies (even if that's possibly not allowed nowadays) about them being visible if in a customer-facing role. Many weddings these days are very much about style and staging, and if such a blatant "look" is not in keeping with your vision, then I think you're entitled to that view. I would feel the same.
So shoot me.

MatildaTheGreat · 16/03/2019 08:41

@Rockmysocks I actually had them framed and hung on the bedroom wall, so I can gaze lovingly every day, remembering that feeling of being a princess.

@onegiftedgal. You sound worse than OP...or are you OP?

InsertFunnyUsername · 16/03/2019 08:57

Also, heavily tattooed (sleeves down both arms and neck). Long black acrylic nails- absoloutley wouldn’t look right in any getting ready pics. And my hair started falling out 30 mine after I left 😒

She must be good at her job surely, She managed to do your hair, even though your head is so far up your own arse - Quite impressive really Grin

You have every right to not like the way she styled your hair, or the fact it didn't last long. But it sounds like your problem is the way she looks. Which is very snobby.

InsertFunnyUsername · 16/03/2019 08:58

That was supposed to be bolded, not crossed out ffs 🙄

ShowMeTheKittens · 16/03/2019 09:55

I did my own hair . It looked fine, I think. Everyone said so.Practise doing your own hair, it's not rocket science.

onegiftedgal · 16/03/2019 10:00

Why do people on here think that the op is snobby to have her opinion about how the hairdresser looks?
She does not suit the image/idea of the ops wedding photos - who would want to look in years to come, photos of a bride looking beautiful on her wedding day next to someone with foul language tats all.over her? I really don't believe that many MN would want this.
She is entitled as we all are to.our opinions just as the hairdresser thought she had the right to use crude unnecessary language in front of her clients including young children.
She was let down firstly by the salon who didn't inform her that her stylist has left and then the tackiness and horrid language at her trial session. OP has a right to be fuming but I'm glad the tattoo, swearing, shit customer service lovers on here are happy to accept this in their daily life - someone needs to. I'm. Just glad that I'm not one of them.

Designerenvy · 16/03/2019 10:03

Judgemental or what !
Ok, comment on the hair style not lastng but not what the stylist looks like !
You sound like a dream Hmm