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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Or is this RIDICULOUS!!! - Wedding

407 replies

HappyHattie · 14/03/2019 10:16

I get married in 12 weeks time.

I booked a hairstylist over eight months ago! After careful consideration...etc. (I’d heard good things about this salon/ read reviews online).

I asked to come in for a trial earlier but was told no, not until 2-3 months before- this seemed to be standard practise amongst wedding hair stylist...so fine.

Went for my ‘trial’ the other day (keeping in mind that it’s a stately home wedding, and I have two very shy under 10 flower girls looking forward to getting their hair done, so I want the morning getting ready to be chilled out...etc)

The woman I’d expected (heard good things about) was no longer there. The woman who did my hair was...not right. I’m not even kidding. My mother (who came with me) had to go for a walk, she felt so uncomfortable and some of the things the salon staff were saying 🙄.

Also, heavily tattooed (sleeves down both arms and neck). Long black acrylic nails- absoloutley wouldn’t look right in any getting ready pics. And my hair started falling out 30 mine after I left 😒

Not an option. So I rang about 20 other wedding hair stylists yesterday to be told...sorry we book like a year in advance. Which is fair enough, but if none of them offer trials until 2-3 months before the date, then what the hell are you supposed to do if your trial goes horribly???

You have no other choice!!!

Short of not getting a hairstylist (and we need one)...I have no idea what the hell to do!

OP posts:
Thread gallery
12
SarahLea3 · 15/03/2019 19:00

First of all..... To judge on appearance is rediculous. So what if she is tattooed. Her look is her look and you have no right to judge.
Secondly if you talk to her and explain it started falling out she may be able to do it better or slightly differently in order for it to stay in. That's why it's a trial?! Have another trial and see what other options there are.

Nicolastuffedone · 15/03/2019 19:12

Have her pixelated.

Mumswearstripes · 15/03/2019 19:12

Pot - kettle - black???Soz but you sound just as judgy.

MummasTheWord · 15/03/2019 19:13

Totally get the photo issue! Have you asked the venue if they have anyone or tried the hair dressers and independent/mobile hair dressers local to the venue?

Mrskeats · 15/03/2019 19:14

I can't believe people regard this type of stuff as a problem.
I love how a stately home got slipped in too.
Get a grip.

Justonemorepancake · 15/03/2019 19:17

If I was her and caught wind of you panicking about how I looked in your getting ready photos, I'd bowl up done up to the nines in a big white pouffy dress. With amazing hair.

Nanny0gg · 15/03/2019 19:17

Toss bouquet??

What the devil is one of those?

sophe · 15/03/2019 19:30

A special stylist? How grim do you normally look?

Bigonesmallone3 · 15/03/2019 19:30

Great read..

Op, if you thought people would reply with
'Oh dear, how vulgar to have sleeves and black nails imposing or your beautiful 'getting ready' pics at your beautiful 'stately home' wedding. YABU..

Good luck finding a new hair dresser, don't tell them about your last experience in case they are on MN or read news online otherwise they'll know how judgey you are!

Folf · 15/03/2019 19:31

A Toss bouquet is one made purely for the bride to chuck over her shoulder, so her Bridal Bouquet can be kept/preserved for being dried/pressed or some such.

Gardai · 15/03/2019 19:48

I had to readjust the priests hair, and I told him under no circumstances was he appearing in my video and on MY insta with that hair. He agreed to a bit of blusher too.

Wearywithteens · 15/03/2019 19:53

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the poster's request.

thedisorganisedmum · 15/03/2019 20:07

You do realise that marriage is a holy sacrament that binds a man and a woman for life?

so many couples organise a huge affair to celebrate that life-changing event, and some are bothered about the details. Big deal.

isitmeoris · 15/03/2019 20:08

I'm a hairdresser covered in tattoos with black acrylic nails and you are exactly the type of person that nobody in the salon wants to get stuck with, you know, the sort where we all do the short straw thing? Yeah, take your attitude and your old fashioned outlook somewhere else love.

Sara107 · 15/03/2019 20:18

Wearywithteens, marriage is only a sacrament if you are married in the Catholic Church, Protestant churches do not recognise it as a sacrament. And if you are married by a registrar it is not even holy.

I think the OP is getting a tough time over her hair, sometimes people lose sight of the big picture when stressed. I had registry office, pub lunch, no frock / bridesmaids etc but I still got stressed out about things which, looking back, were not important at all.

Mog6840 · 15/03/2019 20:18

I have worked alongside hairdressers in salons for years and done alot of wedding make up in my career.

The reason for the 2-3 month before trial is so it is fresh in the stylists mind. It's hard replicating a style you did 6 months ago.

I don't know why anyone would book a stylist they have no experience with. Yes you can't book your trial sooner but there's nothing stopping you booking a 'hair up' appointment or at least a blow dry or something with the person doing your hair.

It was naughty if the salon not to tell you the stylist has changed. Can you complain and ask for someone else at the salon. They will try and accommodate I'm sure.

thedisorganisedmum · 15/03/2019 20:21

I don't know why anyone would book a stylist they have no experience with.

It's very common if you don't get married in the city you currently live in, even if you only go back to your hometown.

Sowing747 · 15/03/2019 20:25

On my wedding morning I had an untrialled
hairdresser do my hair. I looked like a regional newsreader afterwards, so I redid it myself!!

I don't get this need to photo everything. My SIL did this and has framed photos of every minutiae of her 2012 wedding covering every wall of their home. It just looks a bit...desperate to me

looondonn · 15/03/2019 20:32

Hahahahaaaaaa sorry zero sympathy
Horrible thing to say :(

Wearywithteens · 15/03/2019 20:32

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the poster's request.

JustOneShadeOfGrey · 15/03/2019 20:48

Don’t be so precious OP. If your hairstyle is that complicated, then change it. Stately home weddings are like any other wedding. Brides are more beautiful when they look natural. Your regular stylist will probably be insulted that you didn’t use her.

Chlo1674 · 15/03/2019 20:53

Your OP is quite outing. I hope the hairdresser doesn’t see it.

chipsandgin · 15/03/2019 21:13

Oh dear OP, bless you - just imagine the horror of having someone who didn't look the part in your 'stately home' wedding 'getting ready photos'.

I think someone needs to pass you a grip. Pronto.

daisyjgrey · 15/03/2019 21:14

I was vaguely onboard until you slated her for acrylic nails and tattoos. Now I hope your hair in the train wreck it deserves to be, you judgemental dick.

Sb74 · 15/03/2019 21:45

Op if you’re still around. I see your point. I detest tattoos and wouldn’t want them in my wedding photos. I think planning a wedding does send people into their own world, I was the same. ‘Getting ready photos’ are part of it all. I feel as most people replying have never got married or just not had a big wedding otherwise they would understand. Yes it’s one day but it’s special and I think every bride is entitled to be a bit princessy about their wedding. Why not? I completely understand and agree. It’s not judgemental it’s about wanting your wedding to be perfect. I hope you resolve this and just ignore all the nasty comments.