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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Or is this RIDICULOUS!!! - Wedding

407 replies

HappyHattie · 14/03/2019 10:16

I get married in 12 weeks time.

I booked a hairstylist over eight months ago! After careful consideration...etc. (I’d heard good things about this salon/ read reviews online).

I asked to come in for a trial earlier but was told no, not until 2-3 months before- this seemed to be standard practise amongst wedding hair stylist...so fine.

Went for my ‘trial’ the other day (keeping in mind that it’s a stately home wedding, and I have two very shy under 10 flower girls looking forward to getting their hair done, so I want the morning getting ready to be chilled out...etc)

The woman I’d expected (heard good things about) was no longer there. The woman who did my hair was...not right. I’m not even kidding. My mother (who came with me) had to go for a walk, she felt so uncomfortable and some of the things the salon staff were saying 🙄.

Also, heavily tattooed (sleeves down both arms and neck). Long black acrylic nails- absoloutley wouldn’t look right in any getting ready pics. And my hair started falling out 30 mine after I left 😒

Not an option. So I rang about 20 other wedding hair stylists yesterday to be told...sorry we book like a year in advance. Which is fair enough, but if none of them offer trials until 2-3 months before the date, then what the hell are you supposed to do if your trial goes horribly???

You have no other choice!!!

Short of not getting a hairstylist (and we need one)...I have no idea what the hell to do!

OP posts:
Thread gallery
12
IHateUncleJamie · 14/03/2019 16:35

@itwaseverthus Oh, the mental images your post conjured up were wonderful. ❤️

Lweji · 14/03/2019 16:39

Which kind of tattoo? 1 or 2?

If 2, you might have a point, OP.

Or is this RIDICULOUS!!! - Wedding
Or is this RIDICULOUS!!! - Wedding
SheWoreBlueVelvet · 14/03/2019 16:40

I don’t think you’re unreasonable.

You’ve chosen to spend money on having a look for your wedding, If She doesn’t fit the look. It’s not judgemental because she clearly doesn’t fit the theme. Op didn’t say she wasn’t a lovely person ( although clearly not good a hairdresser).No different to deciding peonies fit better than rises or a stately home over a modern hotel.

However the stuff you worry about before the wedding isn’t what usually makes any dufference on the day. Hindsight as ever, is a wonderful thing.

Lweji · 14/03/2019 16:43

It’s not judgemental because she clearly doesn’t fit the theme.

Genius.
Now hairdressers have to fit wedding themes too?
What about the cake decorator?
The priest? I bet they'd love to be given instructions on how to present themselves for the photos.

itwaseverthus · 14/03/2019 16:43

IHateUncleJamie it was a magical day, probably because it was so relaxed and pretty much thrown together as weddings go. Done in a rush so no time to sweat the details. What matters is looking back and knowing my important people were all there with us.

OutInTheCountry · 14/03/2019 16:43

Could you just find a local hairdresser and book appointments at the salon in the morning - they might even open early for you if you explain? I had a rubbish trial and ended up going to the place my mum goes - they were lovely and did a brilliant job. I've barely looked at the photos of my actual wedding so I'm certain 'getting ready photos' would never have seen the light of day, if you really wanted though you could still do them whilst you get make up done?

Another suggestion would be hair & make-up artists who do TV work, they wouldn't usually book a 1 day thing a year in advance as it might stop them getting a longer gig but at short notice they might take something like this and would do a great job - they're used to hair having to stay put. Also try the local training college to see if they have any suggestions? You've got enough time to sort something out so don't panic.

EdWinchester · 14/03/2019 16:44

Do people have the hairdresser in their wedding photos now? Is this a thing?

thedisorganisedmum · 14/03/2019 16:46

I love the hypocrisy of some posters, most of them wouldn't book an appointment in a hair salon they don't like the look of.

3in4years · 14/03/2019 16:46

Your hairdresser has to fit in with your wedding photos? What? Do you even need photos of someone doing your hair? You are unreasonable, weird and self involved.

Babygrey7 · 14/03/2019 16:48

This thread makes me just smile and smile

So funny, just wondering if it's real!

DoneLikeAKipper · 14/03/2019 16:48

It’s not judgemental because she clearly doesn’t fit the theme

People aren’t ‘themes’ Hmm. What about guests who attend the wedding, if any of them have tattoos, do they have to stay out of photographs as well? Or come in an outfit that clashes with the overall scheme? Or is just bright orange from a ‘natural’ bottle tan?

I’m glad there wasn’t such a thing as people having to fit in with themes in the last few weddings I attended - I have tattoos and often brightly coloured hair, I’d have hated to have to sit on a naughty chair as others had photographs taken....

LimeKiwi · 14/03/2019 16:52

Not read all the thread but you lost me at "had tattoos".
So bloody what? I don't have any, but I certainly wouldn't judge them and not hire them because " they wouldn't look good enough in the getting ready photos"
I mean, WTF?!
YABVVU.

HarrysOwl · 14/03/2019 16:53

Now hairdressers have to fit wedding themes too?

But of course! It's only the whole wide world that should revolve around this one special day, y'know.

WarpedGalaxy · 14/03/2019 17:07

What if the hairdresser doesn’t want to be a prop or extra in some bride’s pictures? Are they allowed to refuse?

UsedtobeFeckless · 14/03/2019 17:15

Definitely a thing - heavily posed shots of laughing bridesmaids/dress hanging up/bride looking wistful in mirror/random shoe and glass of fizzing stuff/twiggy heart and sex toy/ more laughing bridesmaids etc ...

MrsFrankDrebin · 14/03/2019 17:15

It's been so long since my wedding I can't even remember what the hell I did with my hair on the day! I do know it was a hairdresser I'd never met before (moved away from where my parents lived years before, but wanted to get married 'at home') and just had to trust her on the day! And it was fine - it had to be!

But this was over (let's just say, for the sake of argument!) 25 years ago, and whisper it people didn't really stress so much about all the fripperies back then in the way modern brides seem to do.

So your hairdresser has tattoos and won't 'look right' in photos? I don't even have any photos of any of my getting ready stages! I only had the photographer at the church! And what if she was overweight/obese? Would that look 'bad' in your photos too? Or if she had her own hair dyed a spectacular shade of pink? Or a face full of piercings?

It's a well-worn phrase, but honestly - first-world problems these days! Grin

UsedtobeFeckless · 14/03/2019 17:16

Sorry, that was to ed

SheWoreBlueVelvet · 14/03/2019 17:19

DoneLikeAKipper of course people are themes at some weddings!

Especially if you are paying them Why else do bridesmaid get odd dresses and ushers morning suits they’d never normally wear. Op wants photos done before the wedding possibly. There are plenty of brides that do this as the market for matching dressing gowns confirms. I reckon there is quite a lot of judging going on from people that consider this terribly naff.

I also don’t think an alternative wedding theme with plenty of black, tattoos and piercings on show would appreciate someone in a pastel jacket and matching heels marring them.

EdWinchester · 14/03/2019 17:26

I have the odd friend who has got married recently (we’re in our 40s, so not many). When they sent me the link and password to the online photos, I just flicked through at speed but did see a few ‘bride in dressing gown, shoes in soft focus, dress hanging up’ nonsense, but the bloody hairdresser? Whatever next...

MrsChollySawcutt · 14/03/2019 17:27

OP crack on to yourself because you are in severe danger of disappearing up the arse of your own wedding.

Is this normal bridezilla behaviour these days to select a hair & makeup person based on whether their 'look' fits in with your carefully curated wedding??

Seems way over the top to me.

SheWoreBlueVelvet · 14/03/2019 17:30

And before anyone starts judging me at my wedding hair and makeup was done by my step daughter and guests were asked to wear what they wanted. We ha, some in shorts some dresses like they were going to Ascot and my mum wore a denim skirt.

But I was on enough forums to see most brides had no idea where to start organising stuff and lots were just swept up in a sea of family opinions, trends and desire to have a wedding worthy of the expense. As I said before ironically a lot of judgement about the Op on here...

DoneLikeAKipper · 14/03/2019 17:30

Especially if you are paying them Why else do bridesmaid get odd dresses and ushers morning suits they’d never normally wear.

I’m not talking about those in the wedding party, in fact I specifically said ‘guests’ in my examples. You know, the ones bridezillas can’t control in their precious ‘themes’ and wanky posed pictures?

Op wants photos done before the wedding possibly.

Yes, all the bridesmaids in ‘themed’ dressing gowns, ‘themed’ rollers and ‘themed’ cheeky fag out back Grin.

SheWoreBlueVelvet · 14/03/2019 17:40

The hairdresser isn’t a guest. She providing a service and no doubt at a ridiculous “wedding hair” mark up. If Op has chosen that route I can’t see why she can’t “ no, not the one”.
The hairdresser has chosen her look after all. Presumably an edgier bride would snap her up for “ before” photos .

TapasForTwo · 14/03/2019 17:45

I think it is sad that weddings have turned into Instagram/Facebook/other social media photo opportunities these days. What happened to just enjoying the moment?

Lweji · 14/03/2019 17:46

More seriously, if the hairdresser was asked to appear in photos (and agreed), perhaps she would be happy to cover her arms and paint her nails a different colour.
It's not even like the OP asked and the hairdresser refused.

The opposite could happen. The hairdresser could have covered her arms in the salon, and painted her nails red or white, then show up in a sleeveless outfit with black painted nails at the wedding.