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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To only take 1 of our 2 DC to Disneyland Paris

150 replies

Lifeonmars77 · 13/03/2019 14:16

DS1 is 7 years old, a massive Disney fan, loves characters, rides, LOVES shows. Very placid, well behaved and a good traveller.

DS2 is 2 and a half, hates travelling, will not go on rides (not even the little toddler ones), hates anyone dressed up in a character costume.... just screams, is a nightmare in queues, hates holding hands/reins/wrist straps and loves running off!

We are planning a 3 day trip to Disneyland Paris in August. WIBU to just take DS1 this time? I don't want to send the message that he is more important but, if we are going to spend that amount of money on the trip, it would be a shame if he didn't get the most out of it.

If we did this, we would look to take DS2 on a separate trip, maybe when DS1 is in school, maybe a zoo, cbeebies land etc.

All things considered, it makes the most sense but I can't help feeling horrible about it Sad

WWYD?

OP posts:
AllStar14 · 13/03/2019 18:17

Don't feel bad, taking a two-year-old anywhere is a nightmare. Take DC1 and have a great time.

Armadillostoes · 13/03/2019 18:29

Sass-Ah-fair enough then.Smile

thewayoftheplatypus · 13/03/2019 18:33

I think only you know your child’s temperament and whether they would enjoy it- if you know they wouldn’t then don’t put them through it.

My youngest Ds is 3 and has been to Disneyland Paris twice- he loves it, enjoys the rides, the magic, hugging the characters. So I don’t agree with PPs that it isn’t the place for all 2 yos. But if it’s not the right place for yours then don’t feel bad for leaving him behind!

Thequaffle · 13/03/2019 18:36

YANBU, the little one won’t feel like he’s missed out. Your 7 yo will love it!!

onthenaughtystepagain · 13/03/2019 18:37

What about if the grandparents took your youngest to Peppa Pig world

The GPs are being kind in offering to have your youngest but this would be a step too far! Such a punishment for them!

goldengummybear · 13/03/2019 18:39

If you asked both of your dc I think they'd say yanbu. If dc2 enjoys Disney and theme parks when he's older, you can always go back.

Original poster
Lifeonmars77 · 13/03/2019 19:48

Just to clarify again for a few of you... IT IS NOT ABOUT THE MONEY. We can afford for us all to go, if that is what we decided. It is certainly not about teaching them 'value'. The likelihood is that we could afford to go again in a few years, as long as our circumstances don't change too drastically.

It is about considering what each of my individual children would get out of the trip in terms of enjoyment and memories. I was simply tying to ponder that, if DS2 would not enjoy the majority of it, would it be unreasonable not to take him? Having read some of the responses, would it actually be cruel to put him in situations/environments he feels uncomfortable in just so that I don't feel guilty about leaving him with his grandparents.

OP posts:
Pk37 · 13/03/2019 19:57

Sounds ok to me but taking the youngest to CBeebies land would be a waste if he doesn’t like characters or rides

Sassenach85 · 13/03/2019 19:58

You know what, if Disneyland is just a treat. If you can afford to go again if dc2 wishes. If you know dc2 will be happy as Larry with grandparents .... go and enjoy it. Smile none of those points apply to me and so I had a different conclusion. Nobody wants to be trying to catch the wonder and excitement on one child's face while having a screaming, tired and overwhelmed toddler on their hip! Grin

Pk37 · 13/03/2019 19:59

thewayoftheplatypus completely agree.
Dd’s First DLP trip was at a year old and she loved the bright colours and characters. She’s 8 now and has been lots of times since and we have merlin passes so she’s always loved rides

CaptainHammer · 13/03/2019 20:00

Yanbu. I’m on a Disney Facebook group and there’s quite a few families that have done this. He’ll have a grand time with his grandparents instead.

m0therofdragons · 13/03/2019 20:02

I wouldn't do this but then I'm the crazy lady who took 6 month old twins and a 5 year old to Disney. I can't imagine planning a holiday and excluding a child (but if you feel okay with it then do it as my sensible head agrees with you). I was considering booking a week away for dh's 40th birthday for the two of us but I've concluded I don't want to holiday as long as a week without my dc. Maybe I'm a bit odd - happy to accept I am.

Rachie1973 · 13/03/2019 20:03

We did it. We went to Eurodisney for our ‘family moon’ lol. (Blending 2 families).

Youngest was just 2 though so we took the other 5 kids and she stayed with Nanny.

YouSayPotatoesISayVodka · 13/03/2019 20:11

I would take the 7 year old without his brother. 7 is a pretty perfect age to do Disney and the little one will get nothing from it. Then in a few years time when the 2 year old is 7 you can take just him on his own trip maybe?

My youngest has ASD and ADHD and his sister has put up with a lot over the years and been pushed aside (not deliberately) so I know how it is trying to make things fair for both.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 13/03/2019 23:06

I think it's a great idea to just take the older one! The younger one won't know, it won't make a huge difference to him because he'll be having a sleepover at the grandparents, which he's done lots before, and you can always take him when he's old enough to appreciate it and go on all the rides (I went years ago with no children, and there were height restrictions on some rides, if they haven't all changed).

Definitely a better plan to go without the little on if he will just make it hard work for everyone - he's having his own little holiday at grandma''s.

I've wanted to take my boys to Borneo to see orangutans for years - but they also have a 5y age gap, so once DS2 was born, there wasn't any point in considering it until he's at least 7 and can make decent memories of the trip. So it'll happen soon, but I had to put the trip off because I wanted both of them to experience it.
Thing is though, that DS1 will still be interested at 12 - but will YOUR DS1 still be into Disney when he's 12? Possibly not! So you need to do it while it's still his Big Thing and he'll get the most out of it.

As you said, you can always go again later!

Original poster
Lifeonmars77 · 14/03/2019 09:52

Thanks everyone, it's great to get some different perspectives and I think the most sensible option is to just take DS1 - I suppose it's one of those head vs heart scenarios that will always cause a little inner conflict.

I'm not sure DS2 will ever be as into Disney as DS1 anyway... he doesn't even like TV that much apart from a bit of Peppa Pig and Waffle the Wonder Dog. He much prefers running, jumping, climbing, getting in to things he shouldn't, making a mess, destroying stuff and testing everyone's patience... but in the cutest way Smile

OP posts:
Dakiara · 14/03/2019 10:25

If you do take the wee one I recommend a sling, a double buggy (the older one will get tired walking too) and backup person to take the older one on rides while you look after the smaller one and vice versa. Plus they'll probably pick different rides.

Planning in advance and finding places to allow naps and rests throughout the park and nice, non-ride distractions will also help a lot.

Also we found headphones to block the noises helped as well to avoid overload, plus plenty of snacks and new small toys to surprise with on the way around. x

My youngest doesn't remember her trips under 4-5 years but we've lovely photos and she found some parts utterly mesmerising. 🥰

Original poster
Lifeonmars77 · 14/03/2019 10:49

@Dakiara Errm... my DS are aged 7 and 2.5, as stated in my original post.

OP posts:
Dakiara · 14/03/2019 11:26

Yes, I read the post. 🙂 I stand by the advice for a large double buggy though if you had decided to take them both (the sling was handy for my youngest at that age to free up hands when she fell asleep - allowed a back carry). After a 12 hour day of walking the older one will be tired and it's easier than carrying them back to the hotel plus gives them something to sit on for fireworks.

I'd not refreshed the page to see your reply before finishing typing the post in any event, it's irrelevant now as you have made your decision. 🙂

SnuggyBuggy · 14/03/2019 12:41

Surely you'd need a wheelchair in order to push a 7 year olds. I wouldn't expect a buggy for toddlers to take their weight

babysharkah · 14/03/2019 12:44

We took 7 yo DTs in October half term. There were small children crying everywhere. The lines are LONG, it's overwhelming, and it's just too much for small kids. TBH there were a lot of older kids crying everywhere too.

We were there for four days, about 6 hours were magical, really magical and the rest was a PITA.

I'd leave the younger one at home for sure.

Dotty1970 · 14/03/2019 12:52

Definitely go ahead and have lovely time 👍

Mixedupmummy · 14/03/2019 13:02

go for it and don't feel bad. sounds like your 2 year old will have a lovely time with his gp.

Dakiara · 14/03/2019 13:35

The buggies you can hire are robust. It's not like it's all day at that age after all, but if you had the two to lug around and the older one is sore from walking or gets tired late night it's easier is all with the younger one in the sling. There's a picture of what they're like on the link here:

anderkinsfamily.com/2016/09/disneyland-paris-because-its-worth-it/

jjandtheseagulls · 14/03/2019 13:48

I wouldn't do this. But I would do 2 different holidays at the same time.

One parent with DC1 to Disney and the other parent with DC2 to the centreparcs village nearby.

They have a shuttle from the village to Disney. Each parent gets 1 day at Disney and everyone gets some one on one time together. Plus you get to have family meals together in the evening and travel together

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