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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To only take 1 of our 2 DC to Disneyland Paris

150 replies

Lifeonmars77 · 13/03/2019 14:16

DS1 is 7 years old, a massive Disney fan, loves characters, rides, LOVES shows. Very placid, well behaved and a good traveller.

DS2 is 2 and a half, hates travelling, will not go on rides (not even the little toddler ones), hates anyone dressed up in a character costume.... just screams, is a nightmare in queues, hates holding hands/reins/wrist straps and loves running off!

We are planning a 3 day trip to Disneyland Paris in August. WIBU to just take DS1 this time? I don't want to send the message that he is more important but, if we are going to spend that amount of money on the trip, it would be a shame if he didn't get the most out of it.

If we did this, we would look to take DS2 on a separate trip, maybe when DS1 is in school, maybe a zoo, cbeebies land etc.

All things considered, it makes the most sense but I can't help feeling horrible about it

WWYD?

OP posts:

pumpkinpie01 · 13/03/2019 14:59

Another vote here for leaving the 2 year old behind, the queues are long, the final lazer show didnt start til 10pm when we were there, you have to line up for over half an hour to get a good spot to see the parade. The 7 yr old will have the patience and will be excited, a 2 yr old will most likely appreciate none of it.

Original poster

Lifeonmars77 · 13/03/2019 14:59

Of course we would plan some one on one time with DS2 aswell, take him somewhere more appropriate for him - maybe that's how it will be for a little while yet

I can imagine the banter around the Sunday lunch table when they are teenagers though... about who is the favourite and who got to do what

OP posts:

qazxc · 13/03/2019 15:01

YANBU, he'll be fine at DGP's and you can arrange a special treat/ day out for him.
Different children enjoy different things and because you do A with DC1 and B with DC2, does not mean that you are favouring one child over the other.

TheNoodlesIncident · 13/03/2019 15:02

Cracking idea to separate them and do things each child prefers. You might find when your DS2 is older he still doesn't like rides, giant characters, no patience for queueing... so another trip including him isn't really feasible. I'm sure you'd find something he's really into though.

Also as you say, it's a way of redressing the balance for your DS1, since he's had to make concessions for his younger brother and perhaps things haven't gone as he would have liked it.

thaegumathteth · 13/03/2019 15:03

Our daughter loved it at 2.5 BUT if you don’t think he’ll like the characters / rides / parades etc then it’d probably ruin it for the older one

Tinty · 13/03/2019 15:03

Definitely take the 7 year old and leave the 2 year old with grandparents. I took my 11 year old and 3 year old. My DP went on all the fun scaryrides with 11 year old and I spent 3 days on the baby rides. It was a lovely time and 3 year old loved it, but if you have grandparents to look after your 2 year old you and your partner? can have much more fun with the 7 year old and probably stay up later in the evening than with a 2 year old.

Take the 2 year old in 5 years.

WhenZogateSuperworm · 13/03/2019 15:04

I would leave him at home. I took my 2 year old dS last year and it was just as you described. He was overwhelmed, mardy, hated the rides and characters and was a general grump the whole time we were there.

PositiveDiscipline · 13/03/2019 15:06

I used to live in HK and take my 2-year old to Disneyland there all the time. He enjoyed himself but there wasn't a lot of rides he could go on and he found the shows e.g. Lion King and the parade very overwhelming and he is a tough cookie. He also hated it when his favourite characters came up to him. I have loads of photos of him trying to get away from Buzz Lightyear and Woody from Toy Story. Luckily he does not need counselling now.

It feels bad to leave them behind but you won't be able to go on many rides and you need them both to do the same things otherwise you will be queueing all the time for different activities.

Tinty · 13/03/2019 15:08

Then the 2 year old can spend their time complaining when they are a teenager, that you took 7 year old and not them looking at you teenage DD. Of course we did take DD at 3 but we didn't take her before she was born when we took DS the first time when he was 6. .

Teenagers love to have injustice to complain about so you will be doing him/her a favour really.

WatchingFromTheWings · 13/03/2019 15:09

I agree with @Purpleartichoke. By the time the youngest is old enough to appreciate it, the oldest will be too old. I'd definitely do 2 separate trips.

NarcissistMum · 13/03/2019 15:14

I would take the younger child to another attraction as a treat; maybe legoland, or the Zoo? When they are older and look back they will totally understand that two separate trips was the best thing to do. That way they both get 1:1 time and if older DC ask why younger is not on the trip, then is to explain that they wouldn't really like it, and they will have a treat day later. Your youngest will not even notice as they will having such a fab time with your DM and Dad!

Celebelly · 13/03/2019 15:18

I think it sounds eminently sensible and a nice chance for DS1 to get some one on one time with you, and for DS2 to get some time with his grandparents. Enjoy!

oopslateagain · 13/03/2019 15:19

I think the big issue is that it's Disneyland, which makes it a Big Thing in people's minds because of all the hype.

If your older DC was into car racing and you were planning a big trip to the British Grand Prix at Silverstone, you wouldn't even think twice. Younger DC wouldn't enjoy it, would be bored stiff and probably scared of the noise, so you would feel zero guilt at taking the older DC.

MirandaWest · 13/03/2019 15:24

My DC are 15 and 13. Have done different things with them from when the older one was about 5. Is nice to be able to spend time with just one of them and everyone gets more out of it. I think you should definitely take DS1 on his own

AbsolutelyValidNonBullshit · 13/03/2019 15:26

Yes - as long as when the younger one is the same age they get the same sort of trip/activity without the older one being there so they get the same "solo" experience

Raspberry10 · 13/03/2019 15:30

At two they’d never remember it, we took a 3 yo - never again! Should have left it until 6/7.

Imjusthere · 13/03/2019 15:30

I'd definitely go for it!
I have a boy and girl with a good age gap that are total opposites! Very rarely fun doing anything together
I mostly do things separate that they enjoy individually, hobbies, little holidays and days out
Personally I think it's a waste of precious time, effort and money doing something you know is not going to be enjoyable

3GIANTSTRAWBERRIES · 13/03/2019 15:31

Take your older DS while he's still young enough to enjoy it and plan a different day out for the little one. Sounds like everyone would be happier. With the age gap, I don't know if there will be a perfect time when they will both feel the Disney magic. Or you might be waiting for something that never happens - lots of kids don't get into Disney.

NKFell · 13/03/2019 15:33

YADNBU!

Do it!!

It'll be lovely to get some proper one on one time with the older one and make such a special memory for him.

onthenaughtystepagain · 13/03/2019 15:34

We've just returned from a Disneyland trip and we saw lots of families struggling with small children, especially later in the day or evening. One young couple with the tiniest baby in a sling told us that he'd happened after they'd booked the trip! Personally, even though your trip doesn't involve the same distance or time span I wouldn't take the youngest especially if he doesn't like those things, he'll have a great time being ruined by his grandparents!

PCohle · 13/03/2019 15:36

In those circumstances I would - I don't think a 2.5 year old would get much out of a Disney trip. He won't even remember it!

Your youngest will probably get "extra" family holidays when the eldest has left home.

pearldeodorant · 13/03/2019 15:38

Definitely do it, don't feel bad! My parents did this with us when we were younger to Lapland and Disneyland and we didn't mind at all; it all evens out somehow and we were never raised to be competitive like that. It is in both their interests to do it this way and your little one will enjoy himself at home far more by the sounds of things

Have a lovely trip :)

WellTidy · 13/03/2019 15:40

I took my 7yo DS to Disneyland Paris and left 3yo DS at home with my DH a few years ago. I don't regret it at all and I remains 100% sure it was the right thing to do.

DS1 and I had a ball. We got up early and made the most of the breakfast buffet and the 'magic hours' (stayed in the Sequoia Lodge, the 3* Disney hotel). We walked loads and loads and loads. We went on rides that wouldn't have been possible had we had a 3yo with us, like Big Thunder Mountain. We went on the rides that we did enjoy multiple times in the golden hours - Peter Pan four times in a row! We wandered and stopped only when we felt that we needed to. We ate in the nicer restaurants and took our time. We queued for ages for other things. We bagsied good spots for the parades and just sat and waited (DS1 is as good as gold about waiting). We did everything at a much faster pace than we could have had we had DS2 with us.

DS1 and I still look back at that break, just the two of us, with huge fondness.

I get the impression from your post that your DS2 doesn't miss out much, and neither does mine.

Go for it.

AlexaAmbidextra · 13/03/2019 15:41

Despite what people think, IMO Disney isn’t the place for very young children. If your DC stays happily with your parents I’d do that and really enjoy your time with the older DC. You can do it again when the younger one is old enough to appreciate it.

BarbaraofSevillle · 13/03/2019 15:42

It sounds like you're approaching it in the right way. The 2.5 YO won't really understand that they've missed out on something. They've just gone to their grandparents like they do regularly.

Buy them a stuffed Disney toy while you're there and do something special while the older one is at school. If you wait until the younger one is old enough to appreciate the trip, you risk the older one growing out of it and they miss out. If the 2 YO gets to 7 ish and decide they want to go to Disney, the older one will then be a (pre) teen and probably write it off as lame and babyish.

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