Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To only take 1 of our 2 DC to Disneyland Paris

150 replies

Lifeonmars77 · 13/03/2019 14:16

DS1 is 7 years old, a massive Disney fan, loves characters, rides, LOVES shows. Very placid, well behaved and a good traveller.

DS2 is 2 and a half, hates travelling, will not go on rides (not even the little toddler ones), hates anyone dressed up in a character costume.... just screams, is a nightmare in queues, hates holding hands/reins/wrist straps and loves running off!

We are planning a 3 day trip to Disneyland Paris in August. WIBU to just take DS1 this time? I don't want to send the message that he is more important but, if we are going to spend that amount of money on the trip, it would be a shame if he didn't get the most out of it.

If we did this, we would look to take DS2 on a separate trip, maybe when DS1 is in school, maybe a zoo, cbeebies land etc.

All things considered, it makes the most sense but I can't help feeling horrible about it Sad

WWYD?

OP posts:
flooredbored · 13/03/2019 17:00

I was considering doing this last year. However, in the end I took my DS who was 2.5 and he loved it. We had a family room and if I remember correctly it didn't cost anymore to take him due to his age.

Celebelly · 13/03/2019 17:03

I don't know why people sometimes seem so horrified on here about a child spending a couple of days with its grandparents? I stayed with mine a fair amount as a child as my mum was a single parent (and one of my grans provided a lot of childcare for me when my mum went back to work when I was eight months old), and we had a wonderful relationship and I loved going there! I'm hoping my DD will do the same when she's a little older.

Sassenach85 · 13/03/2019 17:04

Why would you book a holiday that you know is unsuitable for one child?? And then ponder over the moralities later?

seething1234 · 13/03/2019 17:08

Oh god I'm so biased here I have brought 3 of my 4 dc at ages 2 and they absolutely loved it. We went in October and my almost 3 year old since then talks about it weekly (it was daily for weeks after).

We thought ds4 would be a nightmare on our last trip as he is harder to manage than the others and considered leaving him at home. I so glad we didn't.

Accommodation and tickets are free under 3 anyway

Armadillostoes · 13/03/2019 17:09

Nasty post Sassenach. Why would depriving her DS1 of a special holiday be morally superior? He might never get the chance if he is forced to wait for the younger brother to grow up. Why should he miss out? It's only a few days. No need to guilt trip the OP for doing something very sensible and then have a few doubts.

Spiderbanana · 13/03/2019 17:13

I would definitely leave the younger one. He won't enjoy it and you won't enjoy him being there. Everyone loses

diddl · 13/03/2019 17:19

"I wouldn’t leave my 2 year old at home while I went off with an older child."

Me neither in this case.

I'd send husband off with the 7yr old & stay at home with the 2yr old.

greenpop21 · 13/03/2019 17:22

Nasty post Sassenach

I don't think that was a nasty post. However Sass I don't think OP has booked it yet, hence the ponder.

grumpyyetgorgeous · 13/03/2019 17:24

I think that's fine, as long as he gets his own bit of your time and attention at some point, there's absolutely no harm in your eldest dc getting some 1-1 time.

PinkCrayon · 13/03/2019 17:29

I took my toddler who was really difficult at the time. But at disneyland he was amazing he absolutely loved it. Kids can surprise you.
I would take them both.

PCohle · 13/03/2019 17:31

I think it's a good lesson for kids to learn that being treated fairly doesn't mean being treated identically.

Sassenach85 · 13/03/2019 17:41

I don't think what I said was "nasty" Confused. I have a DD age5 and she would love Disney. I'm pregnant with dc2. It just wouldn't occur to me to book a holiday that (a.) we couldn't all enjoy and (b) I would presumably book again for dc2 to enjoy when older?? That's just my take on it.

funinthesun19 · 13/03/2019 17:44

I say go for it. I once took my eldest on a weekend break to a theme park without my younger two. My eldest was 6 at the time and the others were 4 and 2. Even the four year old wasn’t bothered.

Armadillostoes · 13/03/2019 17:49

Sass-You were implying that the OP has done something immoral and was looking to salve her conscience. That is nasty.

Sassenach85 · 13/03/2019 17:50

Having rtft, I think there's a difference on how posters view the trip. Some people calling it a treat. Something to "do" with an older dc. Maybe this comes down to finances but I see Disneyland as a once in a lifetime big deal for a child. My reaction and opinion is based on the fact that I probably couldn't afford to go twice. Or do two huge equal trips for each child. I agree the youngest probably wouldn't get much from it and may impact on dc1's experience.... but they will grow up and it's such a huge difference I reckon I would be a bit peeved as an adult. Anyway, if OP has the funds to redo this trip or equal it fair enough. Smile

AlpacaLypse · 13/03/2019 17:50

I'm the eldest of a large family, the spread of ages is over twelve years. We did some things all together as a family, but also plenty with just one or two of us. Everything came out about even in the end, none of us have ever been heard to whinge or moan about our parents loving any particular one of us more than the others just because they went to the zoo with Dad that time when no-one else did or anything like that. I'd definitely take DS1, let DS2 have a lovely few days with Granny and Grandpa, and plan a lovely trip for DS2 doing something he loves but which DS1 has already grown out of so that DS1 can have a lovely time with Granny and Grandpa.

Sassenach85 · 13/03/2019 17:52

That's kind of illustrated my point .... surely a 3 day trip to Disneyland is not the same as Dad taking one child to the zoo? Confused

Sandsnake · 13/03/2019 17:53

I think it’s totally fine! I’m ten years time your DS2 will be 12 and DS1 17. Then I am sure that you will be doing things that DS2 enjoys without DS1.

Sassenach85 · 13/03/2019 17:55

Armadillostoes It was not my intention to imply the OP had been immoral. My use of the word moralities was in reference to the OP stating that she now "felt horrible". Hinting that her conscience had flagged up a gut feeling. I'm not judging her she seemed to be judging herself in her original post

PCohle · 13/03/2019 18:00

Surely that's teaching kids to value things based on how much they cost rather than how much enjoyment they bring.

If one kid loves Disney and the other loves animals then why is Disneyland so much more special than a trip (or a couple of trips) to a zoo?

Sassenach85 · 13/03/2019 18:02

Come onnnnnnn it's a huge experience going to Disneyland?? No?? The tv adverts are so magical etc. I can't be the only person who wouldn't be happy sending one child to Disneyland for 3 days and the other to zoo for the day "to teach them value"??

Helix1244 · 13/03/2019 18:03

I think there is difficult and difficult though. My dc2 is probably a 9/10. They are a runner, screamer, wont hold hand, gets over tired, cant q. Escapee from pushchairs and touches everything. So 1 persons' terrible 2 is completely different from another.
But they did like PPW and enjoyed the rides. I do feel it affects dc1 enjoyment of the days and they also set each other off.
At 2.5yo when they still nap and everything else i certainly would leave with GP.

Re dc1 having to wait re dc2. Well dc2 will likely never have to experience the same if they have no younger siblings. So no going home because baby/toddler is tired etc. Dc2 has been taken to a lot more zoos, soft play, toddler activities etc than dc1 because taking both would have been too much or it would have been a waste with just a 2/3yo would would get tired after a couple of hours. So dc2 for us has actually benefitted more so far.

PCohle · 13/03/2019 18:06

Christ, Disney are really getting good for value for their advertising budget aren't they?

Pandas and Tigers may very well be extinct by the time my kids are my age. Seeing them in really life might actually be a once in a lifetime experience. Seeing a man in a bloody furry mouse costume will not be.

itsstillgood · 13/03/2019 18:07

Definitely. Mine are teens and I do lots of things with one or the other. Always have done. Treating them equally doesn't mean treating them the same.

Stripyhoglets · 13/03/2019 18:16

I'd take the eldest then take the youngest when/if he likes that sort of thing. As long as the youngest is getting a treat staying with grandparents and get a day out just for him with you when you get back.