no one could ever love me

[minesthecutest]

so I do post a bit but never usually about relationships, as mine has ups and downs but that's normal.
This morning on our way to hospital I spilt a bit of my coffee in the car, DH sighed gave me a tissue and said you're lucky I love you coz no one else could.. I laughed and said what over spilt coffee and he said
no not that, just you're clumsy and shy and you have kids and your hairs already turning grey and I just think if we split up now you'd be alone forever.
I have no idea where this came from, we've been fine and afterwards he was back to usual and I asked him why he said it he said he was just tired and musing over things and was honest as I've always asked him to be honest.
out of anger I told him I'd be fine alone I'm not bad looking , he said no I think you're really pretty but there's a lot prettier out there.
He has never ever said things like this before and I feel heartbroken.
I don't get where this is coming from

Two of my ex partners made me incredibly unhappy with some pretty nasty behaviour that made me feel shit about myself and increasingly insecure for most of my twenties tbh.

To this day I remain sure they loved me to the best of THEIR ability and they have said I'm the one that got away, but it was up to me to see their experience and expectation of love is fucked up and NOT aligned with mine and didn't make me feel secure or happy.

Said it a million times now and it's so hard to hear until you're ready but... sometimes love isn't enough.

He has been out and got my fave take away and put my favourite movie on for me last night. I know that's his way of saying sorry. He still pulled my pants down this morning and slapped my arse however.
i usually find this mildly annoying but it is getting to me a lot more reading all your comments. I thought this was just his way, but as I type stuff out I realise I would find him disgusting if I was the one reading this. I'm not going to leave him over this but I'm going to talk and see if he realises he need to change and we where we go from there.

just don't think he's a romantic guy he never has been but I'm sure he loves me.

The way he loves you though, it's not enough. Telling you that you would be alone forever if you spilt, then buying you ( both)a takeaway and watching a film. It's not much is it? You could buy a takeaway and watch a film with a mate or by yourself. He needs to actually tell you that that was a a stupid and untrue thing to say, not insult you then butter you up with a little treat.

It's your life, but it sounds manipulative to me.