to cancel a hen weekend because I don't want to leave my 17 month old?

[burnsy555]

I agreed to go on a friends hen weekend (next weekend) to centerparcs (booked in March/April) but as it's got closer I have now backed out of it as I just can't bring myself to leave my 17 month old dd. The hen is now not talking to me. I feel bad but think I have done the right thing. Am I a crazy for not wanting to leave my daughter?

I'm fine tatties - apart from this whole hen night saga! I have learned a valuable lesson though, do not just agree to anything to keep everyone else happy.

ive got a 15 month old but i remember when i was a bride to be and i was very emotional about the wedding etc - it is a massive thing and you have said loud and clear that it is not very important to you - if i was your friend I would be hugely offended

at such late notice it is pretty rude whatever the reasons - is there no way you can go for sat night and get a train back? it does seem very drastic not going at all

if you want to stay friends with this person - lots of flowers should be sent now!!

I would happily leave my ds (he's 17 months today!) for a long weekend - I'd miss him like mad but enjoy a well deserved break. But its a personal thing and not one that can be dictated.

Send her a bottle of bubbly and a card with another mate thats going and try to meet up before the wedding to celebrate with her on your own. Hopefully you'll get over it together if she's a good mate

I wouldn't have left my dd at that age - actually still wouldn't and she's 27mths now. I wouldn't leave her because I know she would be too distressed without me for that long.

All children are different though - you know your own child and if you don't feel comfortable leaving her then you shouldn't. She's still very young.

I also can happily leave DS (16m) for a weekend, although I do miss him like mad. In fact he was away this weekend as I had a hen weekend and it was great.

yes

yep insane

yabu.

Its a one off thing for the hen.....it wouldnt have hurt you to be there for her.

I suppose as a compromise you could have arranged for dp and dd to stay at Centreparcs too and you could have spent time with them and with the hen party?

However, it sounds as if you've burned your bridges now! Try to make the best of it - a card and maybe flowers does sound like a good idea.

The thing about having children is you do sometimes lose some friends if they're not in the same situation - sad, but it happens.

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in what earthly sense is she making a rod for her own back?

i wouldn't leave my dd for 3 nights and she's 20 mos. i wouldn't want to, i'd miss her like crazy. she'd be fine, i hardly need add. one night away from each other, otoh, is bliss. [rod] [back]

wtf is she doing having such a long hen party anyway? honestly, that is out of control... brides today etc etc, don't know they're born etc. how long is your hen party going to be VVV? i will be forced to judge you if it goes on longer than one night.

At 7 months maybe I wouldn't have gone, but at 17? Like some earlier posts I would have jumped at the chance for some child-free time (especially after number 2 came along).

Bust saying that, 3 nights is a long time for a hen's "night". In my day, we went out to dinner for my "hen night" - brides these days are so full of themselves ;-).

Why is a hen NIGHT now 3 nights? Crazy.

Could you go for one night?

No you are not being unreasonable, she is. It doesn't matter what your reason for not going is, it is your life, your choice. FWIW i would have done the same as you - I can't bear to leave my dcs who are 5, 3 and 1 overnight. Also hen nights are my idea of hell on earth.

I do think you should pick up the tab for your expenses. (sorry if you have said you will, haven't read the whole thread.)

I would of gone with bells on, your dd will never remember and it will not scar her for life (hopefully)