Man doing my pedicure

[eyesbiggerthanstomach]

I'm having a rubbish day so maybe am being super sensitive but not sure. There is a nail bar I regularly go to. A few men work there but it's mainly women. Usually one of the women does my pedicure. I have had one or two of the men do it in the past too.

Anyway, am currently getting one done by a man and I'm feeling really uncomfortable. I can't explain why. Maybe because he is slow and so every touch feels like it's lasting ages but I'm not enjoying it.

Is it unreasonable to specify a woman does it in future?

What's the reason for that blue?

Reading your op, it sounds like you don't have a problem with it being a man per se, just that you are not liking the way that he is doing it.
Is there a person there that you do like the way they do your pedicure? Just ask for them next time.
Although I would reconsider going to a salon where they peel vegetables at the manicure table full stop, if I where you.

@Bluestitch you don't have to give a "reason" you don't have to justify anything to these posters. If you don't want it, you don't want it. End of. No poster has the right to poke and prod into your personal history to justify their opinion.

tbh I find you hatred of all men more disgusting than my want for equality.

You are truly being ridiculous to level that at me because I don’t want men to perform healthcare on me. How dare you. I’ve been married to a wonderful man for 30 years and I have a lot of lovely male friends. It is not hateful to not want men touching me. I have been abused as a child, raped as a teen, harrased many times as an adult. Don’t tell me I hate men.

I'm not going to go into the reasons why because I don't believe you are asking in good faith. I don't think for a second that somebody who is clearly as articulate as you doesn't have the emotional intelligence to understand a whole variety of reasons why women may not want to be touched intimately by men. You expecting me to spell my specific reasons out to decide if my consent is valid is downright creepy.

I haven't had a pedicure done by a male but if I did and it made me uncomfortable - for whatever my own personal reason - I would request a different specialist next time. Ditto with male masseurs. My body, my rules. I would not have the same reaction to a black person so this had nothing to do with racism.

Thank you Greig.

GreigLaidlawsbarofsoap it was a question. I've hardly got her tied down forcing her to answer. She doesn't have to, obviously, but I was curious why, if it's got nothing to do with judging people by the genitals, all men make women uncomfortable.

You expecting me to spell my specific reasons out to decide if my consent is valid is downright creepy.

Yes it is. Both poster are leaving disingenuous and creepy comments which are not helpful or constructive.

98% of sexual assaults are committed by men.

Skin colour is irrelevant to sexual crimes. I mean, why does that need saying to a WOC for goodness sake.

Bluestitch no what I was trying to do was establish whether your discomfort to men, no matter who they are or what they've done/not done is fair.

no what I was trying to do was establish whether your discomfort to men, no matter who they are or what they've done/not done is fair.

Women don’t need a reason to say no. You are not the decider of whether or not someone has the right to bodily autonomy.

JessicaWakefieldSVH unfortunately for you, you don't get to decide whether I liken this to race. I do. Based on my past experiences. However because I disagree with you, my opinion is less valid apparently.

You are not the decider of whether or not someone has the right to bodily autonomy. Never said I was, simply trying to engage in a debate on a public forum

no what I was trying to do was establish whether your discomfort to men, no matter who they are or what they've done/not done is fair

How is that different to what I said? Which was 'You expecting me to spell my specific reasons out to decide if my consent is valid is downright creepy.'

You want me to explain myself so that you can decide if my right to consent to who touches me intimately is fair. Get lost.

you don't get to decide whether I liken this to race. I do. Based on my past experiences.

You can certainly write whatever you want. And I can also respond to it and dismiss the analogy. There’s a very good reason why many women are fearful of men. Its valid. Racism is not valid.

Blue I don't 'expect' you to do anything. it's called a question. You have every right to decline to answer, which you have.

The question is creepy and intrusive.

Racism is not valid.

Really?

Men’s behaviour is the cause of this. BLAME THEM

Blame all men. Blame your beloved husband and your good male friends. I'm confused how you don't understand how I interpreted this as a hatred of men.

Men’s behaviour is the cause of this. BLAME THEM

All of them? Without exception?

Nobody is blaming all men. But the behaviour of many, has led to many women needing to protect themselves from further trauma by having female only care. What can’t you understand about that? Why no acknowledgement of my awful experiences?

Because you are disingenuous and are likely an MRA. It’s disgusting to come here and berate women who’ve had experiences which are difficult and scary and then need to request females only for their own comfort. Ffs.

My friend is a physio, he never takes it personally when women request females at work. Ever. He’s sad they have had bad experiences and angry at other men for doing that to them. I mean, wtf is wrong with people that we are still getting this NAMALT. Do they have signs on their foreheads stating which ones are fetishists or rapists??? NO. That’s why we set boundaries. It’s why we have safeguarding for children too, or do you have a problem with that as well??

Actually Bianca I asked if I should be able to decline a massage or intimate examination by a man, your response was to ask me why, to see if my reasons are 'fair'. Are you unable to answer if women have the right to consent unless you are given a satisfactory explanation?