Man doing my pedicure

[eyesbiggerthanstomach]

I'm having a rubbish day so maybe am being super sensitive but not sure. There is a nail bar I regularly go to. A few men work there but it's mainly women. Usually one of the women does my pedicure. I have had one or two of the men do it in the past too.

Anyway, am currently getting one done by a man and I'm feeling really uncomfortable. I can't explain why. Maybe because he is slow and so every touch feels like it's lasting ages but I'm not enjoying it.

Is it unreasonable to specify a woman does it in future?

Personally I think YABU. I don't believe we will achieve true equality with this attitude. There are dangerous men out there but deciding a man is creepy based on nothing other than his genitals is uncalled for IMO. He's at work. He's doing his job. He isn't lurking in the shadows or pinching shoes from locket rooms to smell them. He's just at work.
Would you be just as happy if a man refused a dentist or optician because they were female? That would annoy me so I can't be a hypocrite.

@Bluestitch based on technique by ONE man I think the OP is BU.

End of....

And @JessicaWakefieldSVH started the personal attack on me and that goes beyond my boundaries!

@Biancadelrioisback agreed!! Excellent post!

@youknowmedontyou thank you!

youknowmedontyou People can read the thread and your posts. You even accused those who would be uncomfortable being touched by a man of wanting them dead. You can try to rewrite yourself as the reasonable one but your nonsense is there in black and white.

*youknowmedontyou

I objected to you telling a woman she was not entitled to set her own boundaries, I said it was disappointing originally and you proceeded to get very aggressive about it, and quite OTT with regards to the idea women could request online females to touch them. At no time have I told you you could not set your own boundaries or that you shouldn’t let men give you pedicures or anything else for that matter. As you continued your NAMALT and respond with outrageous comments like ‘ let’s drown all men at birth’ in response to women not feeling comfortable with men touching them, I strongly objected.

I’m really not sure how you could possibly frame this conversation as anyone telling you who you should allow to touch you, or that you’ve been personally attacked here. You’re actually making fun of a conversation where women are supporting each other’s boundary settings by mocking us above with your ‘that’s against my boundaries’ comment. You’re behaving in a very unconstructive and misogynistic manner. That’s not an attack on you, it’s a response to your repeated attempts to make women feel bad for not wanting to be touched by men.

There are dangerous men out there but deciding a man is creepy based on nothing other than his genitals is uncalled for IMO.

Well it’s good that hasn’t happened then. Only wanting women to perform care or services that require them to touch our body, is not ‘deciding a man is creepy based on his genitals’. Again this is another attempt to make women feel pressured into being touched by men when they don’t want to be. It’s quite gross to witness.

You can try to rewrite yourself as the reasonable one but your nonsense is there in black and white

Indeed it is. Do they think people aren’t smart enough to read the thread and see what’s happening?! Silliness

Did he pop a toe in his mouth, or hold eye contact whilst scrubbing off your dead foot skin?
Maybe he really really fancies you, are you extremely fanciable??

Or maybe he's just doing his job....

Pay someone. To touch my feet? No thanks. I don't care if it's a man or a woman. I'm out.

*@JessicaWakefieldSVH *
YABU - you're unhappy with HIS technique, that's fine don't have him again. But does this exclude all men? Would you exclude all women because of the technique of one?

My original post nothing wrong with it but you were disappointed in it, like I need any approval!

Anyway I'm off now, presume OP will change salons or just say no men please!

@Ignoremeiaminvisible its not just women who should be able work in whatever profession they chose but men can also.

Yes the man can work in this industry nobody is saying he can't! But the paying customer absolutely has the right to decide who is doing her appt and touching her. She can request a woman and if they won't oblige, she can choose to go elsewhere. He won't lose his job, as I'm sure there are plenty more mensrightsactivists customers like you who would be totally happy to have him do their feet.

My original post nothing wrong with it

Yes it does, as it misses the point of the comments that followed which made it more than technique. It also does not excuse all your other comments which are here for everyone to read.

@JessicaWakefieldSVH she feels uncomfortable because he is a man and would rather a female do this in future. If I was doing my job and a client requested a man because I made them feel uncomfortable I would be deeply hurt and would believe they were being sexist. Would you not?

Again this is another attempt to make women feel pressured into being touched by men when they don’t want to be. It’s quite gross to witness.

This is also so very pathetic. In no way are women being pressured into being touched by men. People are calling out sexism. Women, in this situation, are not being strapped down and forced to endure men groping them. I do liken this to people not wanting to be touched by black people.

Would you not? No I would not. I would never make someone else’s personal boundaries about who touches them, about me.

This is also so very pathetic. In no way are women being pressured into being touched by men. People are calling out sexism. Women, in this situation, are not being strapped down and forced to endure men groping them. I do liken this to people not wanting to be touched by black people.

It’s not pathetic to discuss why women in particular have issues with males they don’t know touching them. It is not remotely sexist and it’s pathetic to suggest such a thing. We’ve had a lengthy discussion on this with plenty of women explaining why many of us only have females touch us, so I’m not doing so again. As a mixed race person, likening to this racism makes my blood boil. Men’s behaviour is the cause of this. BLAME THEM.

You are creating pressure by entering this discussion and telling women they are sexist if they won’t let men touch them. It’s a disgusting thing to say.

Ah okay so shall I blame my 2yo son? My 8yo nephew? They're male after all. Let's hope they don't try and work in the beauty industry. And as a black woman, I will liken it to race because to me, it is. Tell me I'm wrong all you like but you don't to make that decision I'm afraid. Saying you don't want someone to do their job for you because you don't like their genitals is sexist.

Jessica tbh I find you hatred of all men more disgusting than my want for equality. Even international women's Day this year was focussed around balance.

Bianca am I sexist if I don't want a man to massage me, or give me a smear test?

May I ask what it is you do for a living?

Blue what is your reason for not wanting a man to do either of those things?

Jessica tbh I find you hatred of all men more disgusting than my want for equality. Even international women's Day this year was focussed around balance.

^^ this!

I don't feel comfortable being touched by men. I don't consent to men giving me intimate examinations and I would find a man massaging my body distressing, so the opposite of how they are supposed to make you feel.