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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to ask DH not to go abroad when I'm 33 weeks pregnant?

102 replies

Kate5555 · 10/03/2019 19:14

1st baby due mid June. DH wants to go for a week to his home country in Europe to visit his mum and other family and friends before the baby is born. His mum usually lives in Asia but will be back in Europe for a few months although isn't being very clear on her plans. He suggested the last week of April when I'll be 33 weeks but I'm concerned if the baby is early then he would miss the birth. I've no reason to think the baby could be early though so not sure if I'm being overly cautious?

I've been really healthy all pregnancy but don't particularly fancy a week by myself in my third trimester although may be able to ask a family member to come to stay with me.

The other issue is cost, with the cheapest flights costing £100-£150 and he could easily spend another £200-£300 while he is there, plus earning nothing for a week (he is self employed). Not a huge unmanageable amount for us but still significant when I feel we need to be saving as much as possible for when baby arrives. We've just got back from 1 week in Tenerife so it's not like he hasn't had a holiday for ages!

I understand he misses his family and his own country, but wish he would wait until next year when we could go together with baby. WIBU to ask him not to go?

OP posts:
MitziK · 10/03/2019 19:18

I think he should go.

It'll be good for him, as you say, there's no reason to think you'll have a premature birth and you might not want to travel with a baby next year, so he'd miss out on seeing his family for much longer.

cocodash · 10/03/2019 19:18

I would say YABU. If it's not a huge financial burden and you've had a healthy pregnancy then I wouldn't grudge him going to visit his family.

My DH has a stag weekend away when il be 35 weeks. I'm looking forward to a weekend lying on the couch stuffing my face and watching trash t.v. without being judged.

Easterbunnyiscomingsoon · 10/03/2019 19:19

First dc are usually late. You can't stop dh from living for maybe 9 weeks!!

whywhywhy6 · 10/03/2019 19:20

YABVVU.

00100001 · 10/03/2019 19:20

YABU

Even if you did go into labour very early, he'd be able to get home in time.

Littleraindrop15 · 10/03/2019 19:21

I would let him go it's not the same as going on holiday it's seeing his family.

YourSarcasmIsDripping · 10/03/2019 19:22

How long has it been since he's seen his family/been back home?

Dieu · 10/03/2019 19:22

YABVU

blueyellowgreen · 10/03/2019 19:22

I'm going to go against the grain here and say YANBU. I know enough people who have had babies around 30-35 weeks that while unlikely it's definitely not impossible for the baby to arrive early.

stayhomeclub · 10/03/2019 19:23

I’m due around the same time as you and I think he should go. It’s not a huge cost or particularly late into pregnancy. I think he should see his family unless there is a pressing reason why not.

Mmmhmmm · 10/03/2019 19:23

YABU and sound a bit controlling tbh.

WhenISnappedAndFarted · 10/03/2019 19:24

I would also say YABU

RosaPfirsich · 10/03/2019 19:24

YABU

Dieu · 10/03/2019 19:24

And why would you need a family member to stay with you for that week? You are pregnant, not ill Confused

AuntMarch · 10/03/2019 19:25

I think it is good that he wants to see them before baby comes, it suggests he realises to go any time soon after is out of the question!
Why wouldn't you love the idea of a week of peaceful evenings at that stage?! (I'm due end of June and already don't feel sociable lol)

brummiesue · 10/03/2019 19:27

Yabvu and precious, family member to stay? You can tell its your first baby Hmm

BitchQueen90 · 10/03/2019 19:27

YABU my exh went on a stag weekend when I was 37 weeks pregnant and it didn't bother me. The odds of you having the baby at 33 weeks are very slim if you've had no complications.

OMGithurts · 10/03/2019 19:27

He should go. It is hard being away from family and I am sure he wants to capitalise on his mum being (relatively) nearby.

I travelled (short flight) to see my family at 34 weeks with DC1, and DH had an overnighter to see an old friend in Belgium at around 36ish weeks. DC1 wasn't born for over another month.

Chickychoccyegg · 10/03/2019 19:27

i also think he should go, its unlikely you'll go into labour that early, but if you do, he'll be able to get a flight back (1st babies are usually a long labour also)

ZippyBungleandGeorge · 10/03/2019 19:28

I was still travelling/working nationally for a week at a time living in hotels at 33 weeks! YABU

ltk · 10/03/2019 19:29

It's a pretty good time for him to go, actually. Not ideal, and I can see why you are concerned. But.. You're unlikely to go into labour early. He needs to see his family.

ApolloandDaphne · 10/03/2019 19:29

Of course he should go. It is pretty unlikely that your baby will arrive then.

BeanTownNancy · 10/03/2019 19:30

If it was a holiday with friends I'd say YANBU, but if he doesn't get to see his mum often and can make a combined trip to see lots of family as well, I think it's a good idea - as for the cost, it's cheaper than him travelling to Asia to see his mum.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 10/03/2019 19:30

Yabu

hidinginthenightgarden · 10/03/2019 19:30

He is visiting family. YABU!