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AIBU?

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Original poster

To press charges against this parent?

643 replies

Rosegarden10 · 10/03/2019 08:39

I've name changed for this as obviously this is very outing.

On Friday, my child attended a school disco. Whilst they were at the school disco, another parent broke into the school and was banging on the hall doors to get in. When she couldnt access the hall she kicked the glass door and broke the window smashing the glass. The children and adults inside were terrified and they had to evacuate the children in an emergency lockdown procedure.

My child (and the majority of the other children) are now traumatised. My child doesnt want to go back to school tomorrow. The police arrived at the scene however it doesnt appear as though they arrested her as she the parent was on the parent WhatsApp group trying to justify her behaviour an hour after the incident.

Can I press charges against this woman for the trauma she has caused my child and the other children? I am so angry!!

OP posts:
ChristinaMarlowe · 10/03/2019 09:14

I should have said stable finances not 'normal 🙈 Now I'm sounding crazy too. Quick, find me a window...

CountessVonBoobs · 10/03/2019 09:14

Those scoffing at the idea of it being a terrorist Attack should think about Dunblabe or schools in America. I’m sure the parents and relatives of those lost in those atrocities would agree with you.

It's not an insult to the relatives of those lost in those situations to state the facts: Dunblane and the school shootings that are sadly far too common in the US are not and were not terrorist incidents.

Dunblane was a terrible, terrible thing, but it was not a terrorist incident. It was a single mass killer. It was also 23 years ago and drove changes in handgun laws and school procedures which have meant it has not recurred as a scenario since.

It was a scary situation no doubt. But the school did their jobs, no one was hurt, a single aggressive parent committing some property damage is not remotely a "terrorist incident", and your job now is to help your child see it as the fairly minor incident it was, not compound the issue.

BabyKeith · 10/03/2019 09:15
  • criminal damage, not communal Hmm
Perty01234 · 10/03/2019 09:16

They might be interviewing her at a later date OP, on a voluntary basis. The outcome is still the same.
Being arrested isn’t a punishment, the punishment is whatever the outcome is

CaptainBrickbeard · 10/03/2019 09:17

Why are school shootings not considered terrorist offences? I would say that’s exactly what they are.

GottenGottenGotten · 10/03/2019 09:18

Lots of drip feeding going on here.

She kicked doors and broke glass to get in

She was mad at the head

She might have been armed

The kids thought it was a terrorist attack

Oh, yeah, she said she was going to kill the head

Can't wait to see what comes next!

LakieLady · 10/03/2019 09:18

I'm a bit Shock that a primary age child should suspect a terrorist attack when an angry shouty woman bashes on a glass door and breaks it.

What have these children been allowed to watch on tv?

Fortybingowings · 10/03/2019 09:19

What happened was awful, you are right.
BUT continuing the drama by replaying it is not helpful for your kids. A simple explanation about bad people and then move on. Kids are resilient. Focusing excessively on 'trauma' will do them no favours.
Be angry yes, but park it and then move on

whippersnapperwrapper · 10/03/2019 09:19

Did none of the kids recognise her as X's mum ?

Ellapaella · 10/03/2019 09:20

I sympathise OP, I'd be really upset if my child had been upset by this. Like you say you can only go on what your child said which is that they found it very frightening and upsetting. Presumably all these posters who are thinking you're being dramatic would have just told their kids to get over it and not be so silly? most children don't witness violent aggressive behaviour on a regular basis and so would find it very distressing and frightening to see an adult behaving in this way.
Unfortunately there probably isn't very much you personally can do about it though OP - except hope that this parent has been spoken to by the police and for the teachers sake has been very strongly advised not to behave in this way again.

harriethoyle · 10/03/2019 09:20

Your child obviously inherited their drama llama streak from you Hmm

Drogosnextwife · 10/03/2019 09:20

Why was the parent let into the reception? At my dcs school the reception door is the door that is locked and there are no locks on the doors inside, so how did she get in?

hiddengem86 · 10/03/2019 09:21

This is awful, as a mother of young children. I know my children would be terrified of going back to school and lose confidence that school is a safe place if this was to happen. The police will not do anything for traumatising your child. But surely. He can be charged for criminal damage, if you bang on glass you know it may smash. I know I would be angry and want answers as to what is happening with her going forward. Maybe as parents who are concerned you should seek answers from the school of what is going to be put in place with this parent to avoid this happening again.

StillCoughingandLaughing · 10/03/2019 09:21

The CHILDREN especially the older ones were coming out crying saying they thought it was a terror attack. Kids watch the fucking news!!!!!

And adults watch American TV and get inaccurate ideas into their heads about being able to ‘press charges’ just because they’re unhappy about something.

Rosegarden10 · 10/03/2019 09:21

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CountessVonBoobs · 10/03/2019 09:22

@CountessVonBoobs Are we assuming she "doubtless has fuck as all money" because all crazy/drunk people are on benefits?! Or is it simply that anyone with normal finances is too naice to act like a violent loony?

Happy to. It's got nothing to do with benefits and everything to do with the economics of suing a private individual on fairly shaky grounds. There's a reason civil suits are generally against institutions and corporations. The OP would have to pay out up front because no solicitor would be able to count on a settlement and therefore wouldn't do it no win no fee. So tens of thousands, maybe more, up front. The woman won't have insurance of any kind. Unless she is a cash millionaire with significant liquid and liquifiable assets, which seems fairly unlikely, there's just nothing for a civil suit to take, and certainly nothing to make it worth OPs money filing one. She could be very naice and comfortable indeed and still have fuck-all money from a legal POV.

whippersnapperwrapper · 10/03/2019 09:22

You reassure your child that it was an angry parent, nothing to do with them ..and you move on. Prolonging the drama and the what ifs just makes it worse.

Hoppinggreen · 10/03/2019 09:22

If none of the children or staff could see what was going on I imagine their first thought would be teenagers dicking around rather than terrorists ( unless OP lives somewhere where terrorist attacks are prevalent)
It must have been scary and awful to arrive to collect your child to find them distressed but I’m sure the police and School will be dealing with this and are under no obligation to tell parents the details of that
I would think a “yes, it must have been very scary but it was just X’s mummy who was being very silly and might not have meant to break the glass at all. You know terrorist attacks are VERY VERY unusual and not something you need to worry about. Anyway, who’s for ice cream?”
Rather than “can I sue/press charges” might be a better response

JacquesHammer · 10/03/2019 09:23

Rosegarden10

You’re refusing to answer questions, how would pressing charges aid your children’s “trauma”

IceRebel · 10/03/2019 09:23

This reply has been deleted

Post references a deleted post. Talk Guidelines.

LovingLola · 10/03/2019 09:23

🙄

oldsewandsew · 10/03/2019 09:23

If someone turned up at my work doing this, having no idea who that person was or if they were armed, I would be terrified! I can’t imagine how scary that was for all of the children OP. How would anyone know not to suspect a terrorist incident or if this person was armed at least? Thank goodness all the children were safe, but I’m not sure why people are minimising how scary this was for them and the staff.

CarrieBlu · 10/03/2019 09:23

Well, you sound like an absolute delight OP.

smallereveryday · 10/03/2019 09:23

FFS I think you have been absorbing too much American culture.

Not EVERYTHING that happens has a legal remedy. Not every unfortunate or unpleasant occurrence in life is a 'trauma'.

As they go through life - sadly your children are going to have unpleasant and upsetting situations. The very BEST thing you can do is teach resilience. Otherwise known as a 'stiff upper lip'. It's a proud British trait and much more effective and useful in the long term than 'pressing charges' (which doesn't exist anyway) .

Teaching children to 'keep calm and carry on' rather than 'fall apart reacting to my drama' is a far better parenting technique. I am concerned about the 'not wanting to go back to school ' issue. DO NOT FEED this.. In you shoes my kids wouldn't dream of this because they know I wouldn't give it house room. They take their lead from you. !

hardyloveit · 10/03/2019 09:23

Op how did she try and justified it op?

I honestly can't believe some of these responses. Would you honestly tell your child to just get over it???