To press charges against this parent?

[Rosegarden10]

I've name changed for this as obviously this is very outing.

On Friday, my child attended a school disco. Whilst they were at the school disco, another parent broke into the school and was banging on the hall doors to get in. When she couldnt access the hall she kicked the glass door and broke the window smashing the glass. The children and adults inside were terrified and they had to evacuate the children in an emergency lockdown procedure.

My child (and the majority of the other children) are now traumatised. My child doesnt want to go back to school tomorrow. The police arrived at the scene however it doesnt appear as though they arrested her as she the parent was on the parent WhatsApp group trying to justify her behaviour an hour after the incident.

Can I press charges against this woman for the trauma she has caused my child and the other children? I am so angry!!

I’m baffled by the people who think it’s weird that the doors are locked. This is basic stuff. All schools should have doors that are locked to protect the pupils inside after incidents like Dunblane and the one with Lisa Potts. They can of course, be unlocked from the inside Can you really just wander into your DC’s schools? If so, report them to OFSTED. They are failing to protect your child.

OP, I accept it was a difficult situation, but your focus now should be on reassuring your child that she was kept safe by her teachers, and discussing with the school if you felt there were breaches of their security.

It really doesn't make a difference if the OP is in the USA.

Children in the U.K. have been attacked by people with knives and axes. As I mentioned previously a nursery nurse was killed protecting children in a situation where no gun was involved.

The complacent assumption that because we are in the U.K. our children are safe is very worrying.

Staff must assume the worst and protect the children accordingly.

Let me just reiterate - none of the parents were there. It was a drop off and go disco. The children could only leave if their parents were called and they came to collect as it's a rural school. In ALL schools in the area, they operate a strict policy of not allowing Joe public to just walk in to a school building especially on an evening - I thought this was standard?

The being armed bit, I presumed is because she was threatening to kill the headteacher and part of the lockdown procedure is that the person isnt approached and all staff and children are evacuated to the designated point.

I am not sure why some of you are trying to make out that what this woman did is ok? The kids in that disco ranged from reception to year 6, I don't think anyone has the right to say how they should feel!

Sounds absolute awful. But it seems it was dealt with quickly and efficiently and the systems in place worked. Your job is now to reassure your child age appropriately and help them move on. And I would also worry about children in a locked hall because of the fire risk- school discos in my experience usually have open doors with teachers or parents watching them.

Was she mad or drunk?
Your kids were not harmed. They will see scary things sometimes. Your job is to help them get over it and check with school so you can reassure them school is mostly a safe place. Probably school will do this, but you can talk to them about what to do in emergencies, who will help etc.

The children thought it was a terror atrack? The parent could have been armed? Are you for real?

An adult broke a window. The teachers acted quickly and properly. It will be forgotten much faster if the school are left to deal with the parent themselves.

I’m sure it was very frightening for the children at the time, and that it was upsetting for you to see your children so upset, but it wasn’t a terror attack, nobody got hurt and it’s over. You need to calm down and work on reassuring your child.

Lots of staff on the front line (schools, hospitals etc) face aggression and hostility from the public. Hospitals will have security staff. Schools generally will not. Many teachers complain about aggression and harassment from parents. I imagine it is one of the reasons teacher recruitment and retention is hard.
So sorry to hear about your child's experience. Hopefully the governors and Head will ban the parent from entering the school again.
It is frightening and your child has every right to be upset. Sometimes it is hard to get the balance right between a school being a welcoming place and yet safeguarding staff and students effectively.

At the point the parent was banging on the doors the lockdown procedure should have been activated. You are within your rights to query the school if this happened soon enough. You are also within your rights to query if there were enough staff at the disco to manage this and if all adults supervising were trained - often discos are the remit of the PTA. It is likely the school will now ban the parent from the premises (or the LA will). If this doesn't happen you can ask why it hasn't happened.

The doors were locked because it was in the evening and why would the doors be open to the general public to just walk in 🤔
But presumably the children attending had to be able to get in and out?

OP, you’re shocked to be accused of ‘fuelling drama’, yet in the same breath claim that the children thought it was a terrorist attack! Can’t you see the irony?

No one is saying it’s ok. The woman obviously needs a lot of help. But the children will be fine.

That sounds awful for staff and children.

All you can do is contact the governors to see what is being done about this patent on the premises in future.

I imagine the doors were "locked" to prevent unauthorised people getting in, but there would be releasing mechanism on the inside to exit quickly. Standard security in many buildings.
And yes, YABU. It sounds upsetting for those involved, but terrorism and her being armed seems like a huge stretch from the information you've supplied. You shouldn't add fuel to the fire with your child's upset, but instead comfort and reassure.

And this is one of these things that you can either make a big deal of to your kids, or you can encourage resilience.

This

It will be best for the children to go to school and process it together.

Some of the replies are ridiculous.

Do you not live in a Country with knife crime epidemic?

Never heard of, Breach of the Peace, threatening behaviour, Criminal Damage? And a load of other offences that covers the behaviour.

No, the OP can't sue, the Police probably made the appropriate decision.

But it was a serious incident that shouldn't happen with children present.

This is a school matter in terms of the health and safety procedures, so you should question them. They either evacuated OR there was a lock down, which one was it? Partial lock downs are not really recommended, especially in a situation like that. And yes, I do know what I'm on about!! Just reassure your daughter that the risk was low, and that she's now fine. I would hope the school get back to you on your query....

Our school main doors into reception and then the ones through to the hall are locked if you try then from the outside but can be buzzed open from the inside, that's normal surely so people coming in can be checked. Work has the same.

Talking about terrorism, being armed and being traumatised is completely over top and if you talk to your child in that language you will make it worse.

I totally agree that the external perimeter doors of the school should be locked to prevent unauthorised access. But locking internal doors can’t be right surely ?

Sounds like a horrible situation, but you can’t press charges!

Your job is to reassure your child. If they’re traumatised, your histrionics isn’t going to help.

It sounds terrifying. I don’t know why being frightened by this incident would make anyone ‘that parent’, which incidentally is a disparagement I despise as it’s used to belittle people in a really unpleasant way.

OP, I don’t think you explained it very clearly. I think most people are confused by the scenario and don’t realise that parents weren’t in attendance. So if I understand it correctly, the kids were locked in (as is standard procedure during the school day for safeguarding) and teachers were supervising. A parent showed up and behaved extremely aggressively and broke a window. Yeah, that would be traumatic. I don’t think you can press charges but it sounds extremely upsetting. I would expect her to be banned from the school grounds in future.

I am fascinated to know how on Earth she justified it on WhatsApp later?

I would love to be a fly on the wall of that parent Whatsapp group. How did she 'justify her behaviour'?

I suppose though each school may have a different system depending on when they were built etc

Fucking hell - MN is full of the unempathetic divs again this morning i see

A hall full of primary aged children was broken into - no one inside knew what was happening or if they were at risk.

And you think those inside are over reacting

Shame on most of you.

Unfortunately you cannot press charges personally for the trauma. As you know it's X parent I would be reassuring my child it's that person and they weren't at risk.
I would also be writing to HT to confirm they have used their powers to prevent this parent stepping foot into school property from now on and will be seeking any civil path they need to put this in writing.

for your child.

It wasnt ok.

But you are ignoring poitmnts which makes me think that there is lots of exaggeration.

The schools glass in the doors would be reinforced. Practically impossible for her to kick in.

It may have been scary at the time. However, its now you job to make the child see it for what it was. It wasnt a terrorist attack.

If you really want to do something, sink you money into it and sue her. See if it's worth it the time, money and effort. Ir spend the time showing your child, it's done, it was scary but nothing bad happened or would have happened to them.

And see what you get out of it. You can not force them to bring criminal charges.