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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To press charges against this parent?

643 replies

Rosegarden10 · 10/03/2019 08:39

I've name changed for this as obviously this is very outing.

On Friday, my child attended a school disco. Whilst they were at the school disco, another parent broke into the school and was banging on the hall doors to get in. When she couldnt access the hall she kicked the glass door and broke the window smashing the glass. The children and adults inside were terrified and they had to evacuate the children in an emergency lockdown procedure.

My child (and the majority of the other children) are now traumatised. My child doesnt want to go back to school tomorrow. The police arrived at the scene however it doesnt appear as though they arrested her as she the parent was on the parent WhatsApp group trying to justify her behaviour an hour after the incident.

Can I press charges against this woman for the trauma she has caused my child and the other children? I am so angry!!

OP posts:
StealthPolarBear · 10/03/2019 12:52

"Spend your energy re-assuring your child, explaining that she was looking to attack the children , explaining and pointing out how the schools’s procedures"
I really don't think telling the op's child that the woman was trying to attack the children would be either accurate or reassuring!

7Pip · 10/03/2019 12:53

I can't imagine that the OP is further traumatising her child. She is likely saying 'it was nothing to worry about, the police came, and Mummy or Daddy collected you - nothing to be scared of!'.
Whilst doing that, she can also come and rant on here!
What I rant online sometimes bears no correlation to how I'm looking up smiling at my DH and giving him a kiss when he comes home from work. Or experimenting with my latest chicken recipe.

bluetit101 · 10/03/2019 12:53

I think if anyone is entitled to press charges it would be the headteacher - as the threats were made to him/her?

clairemcnam · 10/03/2019 12:54

7pip I would not be so sure. I know parents who absolutely make minor things into a dramatic mountain, scaring their kids silly in the process.

PrestonsFlowers · 10/03/2019 12:54

Twerking9til5
How did you decide that the woman was looking to attack the children. Did you miss the word NOT out?

clairemcnam · 10/03/2019 12:55

Even the dramatic OP says she was only threatening the Head.

7Pip · 10/03/2019 12:57

Perhaps you should find better acquaintances then Claire.
Do you have children incidentally?

7Pip · 10/03/2019 13:00

It is very difficult to get into the mind of a child. If the older ones knew the drill and could hear the shouting, it's very possible they were aware that there was a real threat. The younger ones probably hadn't a clue what was going on, but if everyone around them was frightened, they probably got scared too. It's not that difficult to understand.

clairemcnam · 10/03/2019 13:00

I too think you are the OP Pip

clairemcnam · 10/03/2019 13:01

But there was not a real threat to the kids Pip.

7Pip · 10/03/2019 13:01

Yes, I've reincarnated as the OP.

7Pip · 10/03/2019 13:02

How do you know there wasn't a real threat to them if she had gotten in?

PoshPenny · 10/03/2019 13:02

You're being ridiculous. It's no wonder your child is traumatised by this incident if this is your reaction. You need to get a grip and explain simply to your child that the person was very angry and kicked the door in which of course was very wrong of them and they should pay for repairs.

I hope there isn't there is a massive drip feed coming that this other, angry, parent has some issues and is prone to violent outbursts like this...

7Pip · 10/03/2019 13:03

The teachers didn't know! They didn't send the head out to talk, they enacted emergency procedures. They called police.

StealthPolarBear · 10/03/2019 13:04

With a #bigsmile

clairemcnam · 10/03/2019 13:05

Yes of course they called the police.
But calling the police is not emergency lock down procedures.
And what makes you think the kids were at any real risk?

7Pip · 10/03/2019 13:05

Pearl clutchers probably got the OP banned for saying Fuck. That or she can't be arsed reading nonsense from self appointed lawyers.

clairemcnam · 10/03/2019 13:06

And it is common sense that if an angry parent wants to talk to the Head and is threatening her, that you don't send the Head out to talk to her. That again is not emergency lock down procedures, but common sense.

clairemcnam · 10/03/2019 13:06

You dont get banned from MN for saying fuck.

7Pip · 10/03/2019 13:07

Claire are you hard of thinking?
When you're responsible for a room full of children, I'd like to think if there was a crazed angry woman breaking through windows and threatening to kill someone, that I wouldn't just offer her tea and cake!

AnneOfCleanTables · 10/03/2019 13:07

It's obviously not standard behaviour from the mum but you genuinely want her 'locked up' regardless of the impact that would have on her family?
Our school was involved in a genuine 'incident' a few years ago. Someone unknown to the school, they were armed, someone unconnected to the school was injured. Is it scary as a parent to realise your DCs are vulnerable at school? yy and on that point I emphasise with you but I am genuinely perplexed at both your anger, your need for revenge and the way you're framing this for your child.
We told our DC that the man involved in our attack was ill. We reassured our DC about how well the school had reacted and kept them safe. By the end of the week, the DCs weren't even discussing it any more.

StealthPolarBear · 10/03/2019 13:07

Why is it common sense that if an angry parent wants to speak to the head uou prevent it? Surely if a parent is angry the head is the best person to deal with it

7Pip · 10/03/2019 13:08

Christ, I'll repeat again Claire what the OP has written!

The children and adults inside were terrified and they had to evacuate the children in an emergency lockdown procedure.

Lizzie48 · 10/03/2019 13:09

But I do think others are rushing in to show how worldly wise they are and minimising it.

I agree with this. I think some PPs delight in provoking OPs who are in a distressed state for their own entertainment so that they can shout 'drama llama' at them.

I'm not surprised you're upset, OP, but you won't be helping your DC by working yourself into a rage about it.

Bluntness100 · 10/03/2019 13:09

How do you know there wasn't a real threat to them if she had gotten in?

What part of she wasn't arrested, and an hour later chatting on what's app, is confusing you into thinking she committed a crim and was a threat to thr kids.

Clearly you know better than th school and the police. Good for you

Anyone sensible will say if the police walked away then it's hugely likely this woman was a threat to no one, not even the head.