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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To press charges against this parent?

643 replies

Rosegarden10 · 10/03/2019 08:39

I've name changed for this as obviously this is very outing.

On Friday, my child attended a school disco. Whilst they were at the school disco, another parent broke into the school and was banging on the hall doors to get in. When she couldnt access the hall she kicked the glass door and broke the window smashing the glass. The children and adults inside were terrified and they had to evacuate the children in an emergency lockdown procedure.

My child (and the majority of the other children) are now traumatised. My child doesnt want to go back to school tomorrow. The police arrived at the scene however it doesnt appear as though they arrested her as she the parent was on the parent WhatsApp group trying to justify her behaviour an hour after the incident.

Can I press charges against this woman for the trauma she has caused my child and the other children? I am so angry!!

OP posts:

7Pip · 10/03/2019 12:37

Why enact emergency procedures then? They're on a Whatsapp group, she can't be the only parent totally getting the story wrong?

Frecklesonmyarm · 10/03/2019 12:37

Well maybe she's married to a copper or something. Because that would get me arrested!

What the fuck? Now you are making up the police didn't arrest her because she is married to one. Jesus wept.

That's far more likely than, the kids have exaggerated?

clairemcnam · 10/03/2019 12:38

7Pip Something happened. But yes I suspect strongly that it has been vastly exaggerated. And that is not unusual in schools. A kid was knocked down outside a school I worked in. The child was actually fine, but was taken to hospital as a precaution. Lots of kids saw the accident. By the end of the school day some kids were swearing blind they saw this kid lying on the road in a large pool of blood, with their head split open.

7Pip · 10/03/2019 12:38

If you wish to go to semantics, over and exaggerated are never used together.

Frecklesonmyarm · 10/03/2019 12:38

Why enact emergency procedures then? They're on a Whatsapp group, she can't be the only parent totally getting the story wrong?

Because the kids were getting upset. It could have been precautionary.

All the parents are getting their stories from the kids! Who have already spread it could be terrorism.

Twerking9til5 · 10/03/2019 12:39

Spend your energy re-assuring your child, explaining that she was looking to attack the children , explaining and pointing out how the schools’s procedures kept her safe and how well they did to do what the teachers asked during that procedure.

Don’t make a drama into a crisis.

Iooselipssinkships · 10/03/2019 12:40

Meh I would've just said to my kids that I think the Mum was just very desperate to join in the disco with you all! And then some moral teaching about aggressive behaviour not being the key to get what you want.
Sorted.

clairemcnam · 10/03/2019 12:40

They enacted emergency procedures because having an angry mother shouting around the kids and the police attending, will have been scary for a lot of kids. The staff there will not have been in the position to deal with that amount of scared and crying kids.
But that does not mean the kids were ever in any danger.

Frecklesonmyarm · 10/03/2019 12:40

If you wish to go to semantics, over and exaggerated are never used together.

Yes they are. All the time in real life. You are can argue technicalities. But in real life...they do.

That's different to saying that suggested some is exaggerating is the same as saying it never happened.

7Pip · 10/03/2019 12:40

I would be expecting some sort of communication from the school during the weekend if I was in the OPs shoes. She doesn't know what happened, doesn't know what's going to happen and is trying to console a child who also doesn't know what the fuck happened!

7Pip · 10/03/2019 12:42

Because they were potentially never in danger, as judged by the jury on MN, is utterly beside the point! The teachers felt they were in danger enough to enact emergency procedures.

Jeez

LakieLady · 10/03/2019 12:42

DS had a minor accident at school that involved an ambulance being called . Y6 dd was told by lots of people in her year that her brother was dead- she actually had to be taken down to see him before she would believe he wasn’t

Your poor DD! She must have been so upset.

A friend used to be the HT at a small rural primary. One playtime, some children reported a man up a ladder, looking into the playground over the fence. When she checked it out, it was an engineer in a cherry picker working on nearby telephone lines.

Kids so easily get things very wrong...

clairemcnam · 10/03/2019 12:42

Communications usually have to be approved by someone senior. It is the weekend, so this may not be as easy as you think to get written and approved. Expect something on Monday though that is a bit bland saying something like - there was an incident, blah blah, kids were never in any danger, police were called, and everyone is fine.

clairemcnam · 10/03/2019 12:44

7pip You are making things up. No one knows if emergency procedures were enacted including the OP. The parents were called to take the kids home. That makes sense if you have upset kids because a mother was angry and wanted to get into the school to speak to the Head.
Probably the one one in any danger of being hit here was the Head.

Jaxhog · 10/03/2019 12:45

I would hope that the school would press charges for damages at least, and that the police would arrest her for threatening behaviour and a breach of the peace.

But I don't think you can bring charges. She didn't directly threaten your child, although I entirely understand that this was a traumatic experience. It sounds like the school handled it correctly, so the children were not in any danger at any time.

ScienceItUsedToBeAThing · 10/03/2019 12:45

Ps what kind of shit holes do the rest of you live in where this would be unremarkable behaviour?

7Pip · 10/03/2019 12:45

Any teachers on here who can comment on when they have actually had to initiate emergency procedures? Not a drill. A real scenario.

7Pip · 10/03/2019 12:46

@clairemcnam
The children and adults inside were terrified and they had to evacuate the children in an emergency lockdown procedure.

That is what I'm going on.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 10/03/2019 12:47

Kids so easily get things very wrong

Not just kids.

clairemcnam · 10/03/2019 12:47

jaxhog We do not know if there were any damages. And even if the mother broke some glass, if it was accidental then there is no crime committed.

sparklytwinklyfairylights · 10/03/2019 12:47

How you deal with this incident now will play a huge part in your child's development.
You making a huge drama and wanting people arrested for "trauma" isn't going to help prepare your child for the outside world I wouldn't think

7Pip · 10/03/2019 12:49

Claire, you're the one who can't read. I'm not the one making shit up.

7Pip · 10/03/2019 12:50

Claire. Are you the perp?

Frecklesonmyarm · 10/03/2019 12:51

7Pip you are. To the point it sounds like you are the op.

You have suggested the woman got away with it because she could be married to a police man.

You are saying emergency procedures were enacted. Could be simply 'let's move the kids while we sort this. They are starting to gossip and its causing issues'

And 'the gossip is out if hand, let's call parents'

clairemcnam · 10/03/2019 12:52

7pip And the OP admits she does not know what actually happened. She is over dramatising it.
The kids were locked in as standard and the parents were called to collect them. They were probably taken away from seeing the angry mother as a stranger shouting angrily was upsetting some of them.
This is very different from a lock down in the event of a terrorist attack or gun wielding maniac.
And I do not live in a rough area. But I have had to deal with angry members of the public shouting and being threatening, and without any back up security. Generally angry people rant, you let them, they calm down and stop shouting, then say what they are angry about and then go away.
But having upset crying children there means the staff do have to get the kids away from her.

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