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AIBU?

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Original poster

To press charges against this parent?

643 replies

Rosegarden10 · 10/03/2019 08:39

I've name changed for this as obviously this is very outing.

On Friday, my child attended a school disco. Whilst they were at the school disco, another parent broke into the school and was banging on the hall doors to get in. When she couldnt access the hall she kicked the glass door and broke the window smashing the glass. The children and adults inside were terrified and they had to evacuate the children in an emergency lockdown procedure.

My child (and the majority of the other children) are now traumatised. My child doesnt want to go back to school tomorrow. The police arrived at the scene however it doesnt appear as though they arrested her as she the parent was on the parent WhatsApp group trying to justify her behaviour an hour after the incident.

Can I press charges against this woman for the trauma she has caused my child and the other children? I am so angry!!

OP posts:
Frecklesonmyarm · 10/03/2019 10:32

but please don't downplay the effect this sort of thing has!

What sort of thing? By all account ops has a highly exaggerated version. The child is traumatised, because of things the older kids said.

StealthPolarBear · 10/03/2019 10:32

Ehat an awful situation.

FamilyOfAliens · 10/03/2019 10:33

stealth

Why are you comparing damaging property with domestic abuse and people fighting each other?

Frecklesonmyarm · 10/03/2019 10:34

Can you expel a child for parental behaviour incidentally

They can claim communication between them and the parent has irrevocably broken down. They wouldn't expel the child but a move would happen.

Or they can ban the parent from school grounds. The child wouldn't be expelled un the usual sense.

StealthPolarBear · 10/03/2019 10:35

Or a man acting aggressively and making threats? Would the assumption be that he had mental health problems and was deserving only of sympathy.

StealthPolarBear · 10/03/2019 10:35

Ah so the child would be moved without expulsion on their record. That is good to know and makes sense.

7Pip · 10/03/2019 10:35

If she had managed to get in, the kids could have witnessed a hell of a lot more!

StealthPolarBear · 10/03/2019 10:36

No she was just xs silly cross mum who must have mental health problems. She's lovely really. big smiley.

BettieSweaty · 10/03/2019 10:36

Exaggerated or not, who knows, any version of this incident is traumatic ... is it because it was in a school setting that people think it's ok ?

AuntieCJ · 10/03/2019 10:36

OP seems to be somewhat over emotional and not prepared to listen, while at the same time making up things she says others are saying. Can't reason with daft.

StealthPolarBear · 10/03/2019 10:37

Or competitive underwhelmers

7Pip · 10/03/2019 10:37

If she was riled up enough to rock up to the school in the evening time, making threats to kill, it's safe to say that if she had gotten in, she wouldn't have had a calm conversation with the Head.

IceRebel · 10/03/2019 10:37

If she had managed to get in, the kids could have witnessed a hell of a lot more!

But she didn't get in. Surely focusing on the what ifs doesn't help anyone in this situation.

Fabellini · 10/03/2019 10:37

I think once investigations have been completed, she could still be charged at a later date....just because she has gone home afterwards doesn’t mean there may not be an arrest at some point.
I would be focussing on my child, reassuring them that it’s all ok and teachers were there to look after everybody - in the back of my mind, my main worry would be for the child/children of the woman though.

Cyberworrier · 10/03/2019 10:38

Well, it was a mother being violent at a school so not commonplace violent incident at all.

But to some extent yes, I believe chaotic home lives, feeling disenfranchised, having no role models, can lead people to act outside of societal norms and commit violent crimes.
In films we see caricatured psychos and baddies, but usually life is more complex.

More than half of female prisoners have been the victim of DV and/or abuse as a child.

www.prisonreformtrust.org.uk/PressPolicy/News/vw/1/ItemID/494

gamerwidow · 10/03/2019 10:39

FamilyOfAliens stealth is responding to cybers comments up thread not suggesting an equivalence between those events.

StealthPolarBear · 10/03/2019 10:39

Ice rebel but then and there the what if wpuld have been going through your mind surely. With hindsight it was fine and as others have said it is down to the school acting as they should. But it's not fair to say it was all fine therefore no one should be upset

7Pip · 10/03/2019 10:39

Or competitive underwhelmers Grin

Or the 100 legal experts here gathered......... I've never seen so many lawyers in one place, unless at the passing of the Bar!

StealthPolarBear · 10/03/2019 10:40

:o

Cyberworrier · 10/03/2019 10:40

Ps I hadn’t read your comment asking about empathy to DV abusers or pub brawlers.

JustAnotherPoster00 · 10/03/2019 10:40

OP Im sorry the thread has gone the way it has for you, first of all youve had some of your messages deleted by MNHQ and thats never a good start and no one here seem to understand, cant you all feel sorry for the OP after all she's watching all those £'s in punative damages floating away to the ether from the mental torture and anguish her child suffered, that rehearsed speech she had planned for the sofa on Good Morning no longer going to be heard, if youre quick tho OP you might be able to get a 'sad face' article in the Daily Fail by tomorrow and going on from this perhaps watching a few less 'Real Crime' shows on the interwebz might help

LakieLady · 10/03/2019 10:40

Incidentally, there is a crime that she may have committed which is called Affray - google it OP. It's where someone is made to feel in fear of their life as a direct result of the actions of another person.

But that person has to be "a person of reasonable firmness" and I doubt if 100 or so 4-11 year olds would meet that test! Iirc, it also has to to take place in a public place, and I'm not sure a locked school hall would qualify either.

If she threatened to kill the head tead teacher, that's a different matter.

Itssosunny · 10/03/2019 10:40

Whether she broke the glass or not I believe it was very frightening for the kids. They're little and don't think rationally. One thing is to knock on the door or the window and another one is to bang like mad and even brake the window. When you dance, happy and all of that and suddenly you hear a banging noise, shouting - it is quite scary. Also the disco was for the whole school and older kids would make the situation worse as they're the wiser ones.
Would love to hear about her excuses on the WhatsApp. Maybe drunk although no excuse for such behaviour.

IceRebel · 10/03/2019 10:41

it's not fair to say it was all fine therefore no one should be upset

I didn't say that Confused

The Op and other parents are allowed to be upset, as are the staff and children. However, focusing on what ifs doesn't help the situation.

gamerwidow · 10/03/2019 10:42

Cyberworrier
Most male perpetrators of DV have been victims of DV or other abuse as children. Let’s just give them a cuddle and a chat too.
Yes violence creates violence but you need punishment as well as rehabilitation.

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