To press charges against this parent?

[Rosegarden10]

I've name changed for this as obviously this is very outing.

On Friday, my child attended a school disco. Whilst they were at the school disco, another parent broke into the school and was banging on the hall doors to get in. When she couldnt access the hall she kicked the glass door and broke the window smashing the glass. The children and adults inside were terrified and they had to evacuate the children in an emergency lockdown procedure.

My child (and the majority of the other children) are now traumatised. My child doesnt want to go back to school tomorrow. The police arrived at the scene however it doesnt appear as though they arrested her as she the parent was on the parent WhatsApp group trying to justify her behaviour an hour after the incident.

Can I press charges against this woman for the trauma she has caused my child and the other children? I am so angry!!

Your child will move on better from the incident if you don’t prolong the situation. Just speak to your dc about what happened and answer any questions they have, then move on. I’m guessing the school will probably contact parents concerned to keep them updated and respond to any concerns, then that should be the end of it.

And this is one of these things that you can either make a big deal of to your kids, or you can encourage resilience.

This. Kids take their cues from us. I would use this as a lesson in temper control, how our actions effect people around us and what to do when around someone threatening like this, seeing as there isn't anything else that you can do.

Totally irrelevant. Ffs. I’m sure people just post to wind people up

I don't think questioning why the disco was for 4-11 year olds is an irrelevant point. Like many i'm used to different discos for different key stage groups, with different music and times. Had this been the case for this disco the younger children wouldn't have been as traumatised, as they wouldn't have been exposed to the older children shouting about terrorists. (if this did indeed happen)

You can’t press charges. The police may go for Section 5 public order as she was outside, but if arrested indoors, or she needed up indoors, then no. It must have been scary, but it’s not up to you.

Jwcques, a pp said something like when similar things have happened at their school. I am maybe living in a little bubble but this is not normal in my experience.

Do some of you not get the concept of doors that can be opened from the inside but not from the outside??????
It's like the MN bingo on here.
100 posters want to highlight their supreme legal knowledge by stating that pressing charges is something the police do.
1 poster repeatedly asks the question 'Is she still on the Whatsapp group'
50 posters want to know why the doors were locked
100 posters want to know why there was a massive age range
1 poster wants to know what the reaction would be if a man had done it
30 posters want to know how she broke glass
100 posters don't understand the concept of security doors

Sounds scary but yes it's the police and school's job to press charges not parents who weren't there but their children were.

I work in a school and as a member of staff who would have been at a disco supervising I can imagine how frightening that situation would have been if one of our parents had tried to get in unannounced and using violence.

I’d like to think our Head would inform the police about what happened and ban the parent from entering the school premises because they are potentially a danger to staff and children.

It has hardly been mentioned on this thread or by the OP that the child of this woman is a pupil at the school. Whether the woman was drunk, having some sort of mental health related episode or has anger issues, it’s her child who the school need to be seriously concerned about. If that’s what happens in public, what happens behind closed doors?

This woman obviously has some sort of issues/problems that made her behave in an unacceptable manner but how will arresting her help you, her, the school, your kids!

If it was a dad my concerns would be the same- for the welfare of HER child.

The OP making a fuss will not help anyone. Do you seriously think the school will just brush it under the carpet? It was a serious issue and they will deal with it through the appropriate channels ( which you won’t be able to do as you don’t know the possible backstory of SS involvement/whatever, in all likelihood).

a pp said something like when similar things have happened at their school. I am maybe living in a little bubble but this is not normal in my experience

So one poster on a thread of many? Hardly a firm reason as to why everyone with a differing point of view holds that.

I have never witnessed violence at my daughter’s school. I know of one child for whom there was an “evacuation procedure” due to threats against the child from their parents’ work. I still feel the same, the OP cannot do anything but (a) stop listening to gossip and (b) manage her own children’s feelings.

May I also add op that by making this bigger than it is, this reflects very very badly on you.

If the mother did this purposefully, she is obviously in great need of professional help and deserving of your compassion perhaps?
No one has been harmed, but this must be a personal crisis for this parent, if you are right about it being intentional.

I haven't read past the second page the OP is a hysteric and needs to calm the fuck down no wonder her child is so traumatised if the mother is displaying this sort of behaviours in front of her she is on here

I'd be furious but it's a matter for the school and the police nothing to do with you!!!

Sounds like this sort of thing is fairly frequent for some of you.

No, what’s fairly frequent is parents needing to reassure their children after something upsetting has happened, without trying to extract the maximum amount of drama from it, and then shouting and swearing at anonymous posters because they believe the parent’s focus should be on the child.

@7Pip perhaps if the OP answered the huge holes in the story, many people wouldn't be asking the same thing.

But the op cant answer. Because she dowsnt have a clue if it's true at all. Because what she has is a load of gossip between kids aged 4-11.

Reasonable courses of action to take......

Calm and reassure your child. This means taking the heat out of the situation. No offence, but you can’t begin to do this until you make a conscious decision to stop treating it as some kind of psychodrama and find a more level-headed approach.

Politely but formally request the school conduct a proper review of what happened, in terms of safeguarding and child/staff protection. Do they need to make any changes in future? Request they feedback their findings to all parents in order to reassure everyone. I would fully expect they are already looking into this, but a polite request won’t hurt. Tbh, if it means taking measures such as having security on the door for discos, then you’re more likely to simply see the end of all extra-curricula activities.

Ask if school are providing support for all these reportedly 'traumatised' children. They might be able to make some arrangements, but are not necessarily obliged to do so.

You could ask if school intend to bring a private prosecution. But they aren’t obliged to do so, nor to tell you whether or not they will.

Technically, I suppose you could bring a private prosecution: anyone can, unless blocked by the DPP. But in all honesty, you’d probably be wasting a whole lot of time and money.

Take your child to their GP for a proper psychological assessment. You belythey are 'traumatised'. 'Trauma' is properly a genuine condition of mental health, not just another word for 'upset". If you genuinely believe they are traumatised, then the first and only responsible course of action is to check this out: indeed you should have done this already. In any case, you will need this assessment if you think the incident is going to aff3ct the child's attendance, behaviour or performance at school.

Omg this thread

We've had some right ones this week haven't we?

I am sure it was upsetting for your child, and for everybody at the school at the time. However the best thing you can do is spend the time reassuring your dc and teaching them resilience and coping skills so that they learn to cope in frightening or unplanned situations.

Immediately jumping to suing the parent involved is not helping anybody. Leave the school to deal with her and the damage and you concentrate on helping your dc...

"
If the mother did this purposefully, she is obviously in great need of professional help and deserving of your compassion perhaps?"
Oh come on! Her children are deserving if compassion but I have no sympathy for someone who is violent and issues death threats, if that did in fact happen.

Christ, mumsnet has some derranged people on it.

Op I would have felt the same as you and this mother should be very ashamed of herself. I don't believe she should have been arrested but it is appalling that she did that.

I'm presuming the hall doors were locked to keep the children from leaving the disco...honestly?!

I assume the doors were locked from the outside but openable easily from the inside. Fire doors.

They haven't been briefed yet from the school, so in the absence of communication, she's understandably irritated.
It shouldn't have happened.
Police will take it seriously. It's possible the teachers didn't know whether they were under attack either. If someone rocked up to my workplace screaming and hammering and smashing in and ranting about killing the CEO, I'd be a wee bit put out too! I'm sure their training helped them to remain calm and activate emergency procedures to keep the children safe. In the event, not knowing that it was just an angry parent, they would have had to treat it as a severe threat.

The OP can press charges if she really wants to. Anyone can bring a private prosecution in the UK. She would have the (high) investigatory and legal costs to bear and the likelihood that the CPS at some point would step in to take over the prosecution.

The charges would most likely be a S5 public order offence and a minor criminal damage offence.

Depending on the defendant’s means, and presuming she pleads not guilty but is found guilty after a trial, the convictions are likely to attract a small fine or a community order in the magistrates court, which would in no way match the OP’s cost of brining the case to trail. She’s unlikely to be orders to pay the OP’s full costs.

I spend my days in magistrates’ courts and I see many similar offences prosecuted by the CPS. People kicking shop windows when they’re drunk, ripping up mattresses in police cells etc. I’d actually expect the police to investigate and prosecute in this case and I’m sure they will - but I doubt they’ll keep the OP appraised of their investigations. It’s likely that they let her go home once she calmed down and will interview her by appointment at a later date.

I worked in eduction and where doors were kept locked for security there was always a means of releasing them from the inside. Either a panic bolt or an electronic release button. In addition any glass in doors was of the toughened variety and hard to break.

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