WIBU to have my dog PTS? (Possibly upsetting)

[DistraughtDogLover]

I have name changed for this but have been a member here for many years. I just need some perspective on this. This is very long and I will try and cut down whilst still giving all relevant info. I am absolutely devastated at the way my ex-friends and my neighbours have been behaving and I need to know if IABU as they all seem to think.

In Dec 17 we got a puppy. We loved her very much. Took her to socialisation, training classes, practised every day. She was always strong willed and boisterous but responded well to training and consistency and was just a normal puppy.

In March 18, my DH got very sick and nearly died. He spent 2 weeks in Intensive Care and I was told to expect the worst. During this time we used a dog walker every day and friends/neighbours took her out a lot for me as I was at the hospital or dealing with work/children (age 8 and 10 at the time). A couple of them expressed concern about the dog, saying she was wobbly on her legs. I took her straight to the vet who said she seemed fine and was probably over exercise.

May 18 - husband had been home a month, incredibly weak but alive and slowly gaining strength. Had the puppy spayed and asked them to do x-rays at the same time as I was also getting concerned. Turns out she had a very severe case of hip dysplasia in both hips and needed both replaced. We were referred to an orthopaedic surgeon who said he wanted to wait til she was more fully grown and to manage with daily physio and meds. We did this. We worked with two physios and practised exercises every day. She was only allowed 2x 20 min walks per day.

June 18 - she started refusing her training and becoming disobedient and very hard work. We took her to a behaviourist who worked with us but things didn’t improve. I was doing the bulk of this as DH still recuperating. She was snatching things from the children and grazed one of their friends on the cheek with her teeth snatching a ball. She began to target my oldest child and ripped his clothes, drew blood with her claws. I couldn’t ever allow them to be left alone and they were not allowed friends over as I couldn’t guarantee their safety without shutting the dog away.

July 18 - still doing daily physio and meds, still trying daily training but she was regressing and forgot what to do/refused to do anything. Got a second behaviourist in to help but they finally spoke sense and said she was bored and frustrated and in pain and needed surgery. Ortho surgeon and vet consulted. Now couldn’t leave dog alone with either child as she couldn’t be trusted. She was very rarely left alone and never for long but destroyed door frames, skirting boards, walls, furniture, sofas, chewed through the garden fence and escaped. She bit me on the arm twice. I was so worried about her around the children that I contacted Dogs Trust and several local charities and breeder to discuss rehoming her with someone without children but was advised nobody could/would help due to her health problems.

Aug 18 - all still being managed. MRI scan booked to start pre-op prep. One day I must have taken my eyes off her for a second and heard blood curdling screaming - she had pushed my oldest son to the floor and had bitten him on the stomach, ripped his clothes and drawn blood. As I tried to restrain her and pull her away, she jumped up and bit me hard on the side of my waist. I needed my husband to help me restrain her. We were all badly shaken and I said I couldn’t manage her around the children. I called the vet for advice and he said if nobody would rehome her then we either push ahead with surgery and hope it stopped the behaviour or have her PTS. I called several charities to help but nobody would have her due to health plus now aggression. We made the difficult decision to have her PTS. It was heartbreaking. I have never felt so guilty in my life. I couldn’t risk her hurting the children again. I cried every day for weeks feeling I could have done more or should have handled it differently.

In October 18, we had the feeling we’d been “dumped” and people were acting oddly. We then had several cruel messages from people we believed were friends and some neighbours - the general gist of them was “you’re evil puppy killers, nobody wants anything to do with you” and “there was nothing wrong with the puppy, you just couldn’t be bothered with her so lied to the vet to have her PTS.” My best friend of 20 years messaged me to say our friendship was over as she didn’t know who I was any more to do something so awful. After such a terrible year, my mental health hit rock bottom and I tried to hurt myself as I believed they must be right that I am evil. Our neighbours blank us in the street or swear at us under their breath if we walk past.

We have just got ourselves a 4 year old rescue dog as our house feels so empty. We feel we were a loving family who wanted it to work so much. He is such a lovely boy, we have all fallen in love with him and he’s shown us how difficult our first dog had been. Obviously seeing us out with a new dog has renewed the level of hatred they all feel and this week I have had more abusive messages about the dog saying that we are parading our new dog in their faces when they’re all so upset and it’s confirmed everything they believe about me. It has put me in a mental health crisis and I don’t know what to do. I have lost all my friends and have nobody to talk to. Nobody has EVER asked me what happened or asked why we made the decision to PTS. They have no facts at all. I’m so distraught. Am I an awful person? I feel I put the safety of my children first and I would do the same again.

As a lifelong dog owner and dog lover, I strongly agree that you did the right thing. And that looks like the opinion of the overwhelming number of contributors to this thread. Deepest condolences for the awful time you’ve had.

All the people pushing for surgery - it's not always the answer. Some conditions won't be cured by operations and even if they are, it's a bumpy, expensive road to recovery and even then it's not certain.

It's also not pleasant for the dog and sometimes you have to take a look at the grand scheme of things and decide whether you're doing it for the benefit of the dog or for you.

To be frank, the breeder has a lot to answer for - hip problems are common in labs hence the fact they should be check before puppies leave their mum. You did try everything to correct behaviour but a combination of unforeseen family circumstances, the dogs probably congenital hip problem and possibly other issues either genetic or acquired means this dog could not live in a family home or anywhere aside very specific circumstances

Hi,

Saw your post and just wanted to share something with you to possibly help you understand your not a bad person.

My family and I are and always will be animal lovers, when it comes to our dogs they are part of family.

When I was growing up (In Africa) we had 2 St Bernard's 1 female and 1 male, the female had hip dyspepsia as well but she was the softest thing you would ever meet, she would only ever growl if you touched her back legs, she was on pain killers but vet said there was not much they could do at the time. Now the male was taken from security company but he did have a vicious streak, mostly when in his feeding area or he was startled. He had bitten a few people on the hand but these were people who would just turn up without warning. However when I was 14 my sister and I walked into the kitchen and he attacked , i stepped in front of my sister and got bitten on the face quite badly where my cheek was hanging down, I needed stitches. The next day my mother went to vet and he clearly and in no uncertain terms said he had to go to a farm or be PTS, as once a dog has tasted human blood the get a feeling for it (not sure how right he was but I do know Lions are the same way). I did not want the dog PTS but my mother said she could not take the risk of him hurting us again or worse, I did not agree with her then but looking back she 100% made the right choice.

You had no choice in this, the dog would have been impossible to re-home due to health and aggression, and if you had kept the dog, the next time it could have been a lot worse.

Anyone who tells you that you are a bad person and a puppy killer has no clue or idea what they are talking about and are typical high and mighty stupid people who have nothing better to do.

The question you have to ask yourself is would you make the same decision again? if so it's the right one for your family.

YANBU to put your dog down given the circumstances. You seem to have rushed into getting another though so I can see where the gossip has come from. It'll die down though and people will soon have something else to talk about.

The thing is if your dog had got out and bit one of your neighbours children or friends children then they would be demanding that you put the dog to sleep. Sadly some people just love to feel superior and bitch about others. I'd like to say rise above it but given the level of abuse I.e people swearing at you as you walk by and so on id be tempted to set the record straight and ask what they'd do in your position. Probably won't do any good mind.

I don't think that you have been unreasonable at all, please don't feel guilty you've already been through enough. Hug x

You did the right thing. I love dogs and I love my dog. Your dog must have been in incredible pain and it would have been very difficult to recover such a young unpredictable dog from the surgery. If anything you could have PTS sooner. Surgery may not have cured her issues, it may have. She would not have understood that her pain might get better, she only lived in that time when she was in pain. It is also possible given her very poor breeding that she could have also come with difficult behaviour as part of who she was, you’ll never know but I think it’s right that you prevented her suffering further.

What an upsetting situation for everyone. I’m sad that no rescue helped you, Battersea who I’ve rescued from and donated to, say they never turn an animal away? They usually have contacts with proper behavioural specialists that take dogs for a few months. So it’s sad nobody like this was available for this dog. I hope you rescued your next dog. Breeding causes all sorts of issues and leads to unwanted dogs and cats ending up in rescues for others to look after.
I find it so strange all of your friends have dumped you like this. How cruel and judgemental. It must be very upsetting for you, I hope you’re ok