To think that my Scottish accent wasn't posh enough?

[TheGoal]

I was at an event today with my kids. I was invited but I didn't know the vast majority of the other parents/children there.

Everyone at the event spoke with what can only be described as a posh English accent. I don't mean that to sound in any way offensive. I found the group to not be very friendly to me at all. I tried to make conversation with so many people, asking them about their children etc but as soon as I stopped asking questions, the conversation went dead. I got the impression they had no interest in chatting to me.

My background is that I'm from a fairly well off family, had a very comfortable upbringing, but I don't have a posh accent for whatever reason. I just talk, well, Scottish. I don't use slang words, my parents didn't so I suppose you just mirror your parents with that sort of thing. I suppose what I'm getting at is that I don't necessarily sound as though I'm from a well off family.

I found the whole group to be pretentious and my gut is telling me that I just didn't sound posh enough for them to want to mix with me?

Has anyone else experienced this? I'm feeling quite low tonight after what can only be described as a very unpleasant day being made to feel an outsider. It makes me really sad that people would think this way and although I don't have any hard evidence that my accent was the reason, I have a very strong gut feeling. It's sad to think people can be so shallow.

I feel the struggle OP, brought up in west end of Glasgow too, and DPs southern english family seem to be very judgemental on my accent! I don't think they can get their head around the fact that someone can be Scottish and well spoken, and ask me about where I'm from as if its some sort of dump 'were you awfully frightened at night in Glasgow', etc etc. Frustrating!

Well that attitude is a reflection of their poor education, insular attitude and total ignorance of a major city boasting two top universities and many colleges.

I would never judge anyone for their accent, but I've been judged for my Yorkshire one, of course I've got a Yorkshire accent it's where I grew up. My sister in law married quite well and she's the poshest ever person to come out of a Rotherham council estate, she sounds ridiculous.

I'm Scottish OP and don't have a posh Scottish accent but had the temerity to be a Speech and Language Therapist in SE England for around 20 years. When I went down to London in my early twenties people made remarks about me being Scottish. But it was because I was nervous and they could scent fresh blood - like sharks
Just ignore them OP
To a pp yes there is a public school Scottish accent and some Scots speak RP e.g. Rose Leslie.

I’m lost. What is RP?

I’ve had this sadly. I’m horridly middle class. Private school, skiing,sailing, the whole shit show. I also so happen to be Scottish. I live in London. The way some people here make assumptions about you based on your accent is appalling. In England and Wales ‘middle classes’ speak in r.p. Any other accent signifies you are working class. There’s such snobbery around it. People in Scotland, with the exception of some that went to boarding schools or have English families(a tiny %), speak with Scottish accents. It is not a ‘regional accent’ it is a national accent and people here don’t get this. Obviously there are regional and social differences within Scotland but just because you speak with a Scottish accent it doesn’t mean you are some drug addled criminal!

@TheGoal I'm a Scot living in Surrey and never experienced this. Have encountered snobbery but don't think it was because I was Scottish. More often than not I get asked which part of Scotland I'm from and they tell me they have an auntie Sheila in Edinburgh (180 mikes from where I'm from) then look at me waiting for me to say I know her 😂.
@LordProfFekkoThePenguinPhD would said suburb be Bearsden perchance?

Patrick Grant from the Great British Sewing Bee grew up less than 2 miles from me but went to a posh boarding school and a lot of people would be surprised to hear he's Scottish.

Weegie here but I have a weird weegie/Anglo accent as a result of dad being army and moving round a lot. A lot of people have difficulty placing it at all.

I've had both extremes - snobby English thinking they're better than me and treating me like shit, inverted snobby weegies thinking I think I'm better than them just because I don't have a pure weegie/scots accent. I've even been "accused" of being 😱English! (I'm not saying anything wrong with being English just I'm not and to be honest with the combination of my colouring and accent it's pretty bloody obvious I think! The people "accusing" thought there was something wrong with being English though)

But...the worst snobbery? In the army! Went to a mother and baby group when dd tiny and the leader was chatting away, started introducing me to people then one cow piped up "I never saw you move in are you living on the base?" To which I answered "yes I'm in X street" which immediately marked me out as a squaddies rather than an officers wife - leader looked me up and down and they literally all picked up their babies and moved to the other end of the hall! As if being working class was somehow infectious!

Now being as dad was army too I'm well aware of rank snobbery but I'd not until then experienced it so blatantly! Appalling behaviour! I went home in tears and then dh was absolutely livid! Needless to say I didn't return to the group, but I did make friends with dh's (fairly high ranking) boss' wife (she had weegie parents, plus we had babies about same age), turned out they'd been the same with her - because she had a scouse accent they assumed (wrongly) she was a squaddies wife, best bit for her once they found out who's wife she WAS they tried creeping round her and she was having none of it! Apparently a few of them (heard on grapevine, gossip on army bases is rife) then started shitting themselves they'd screwed their husband's career prospects - she didn't go out of her way to reassure them. Don't blame her!

Op fuck em! People with real class, however "posh" (or not) their background don't behave like that.

I've friends from hugely varying backgrounds, from some who were in care as children to not only extremely wealthy but with flipping titles in their future. None of them would ever behave like this (and frankly if they tried we'd rip the piss outta them), the 2 extremes I've mentioned, 2 of them are best mates since high school age and the families even holiday together once a year (camping and hill walking, sometimes canal holidays - both mad fans of the outdoors).

Please don't let these arsewipes get to you.

Hershey's yea everyone in Scotland has EXACTLY the same clearly working class or worse accent 🤔🤔🤔🤔

"Yep mrsjay ever been near 'landed gentry' or anyone who attended Gordonstoun, Loretto, Fettes? Why so incredulous?" They tend to be of English descent if not actually English and educated in England at least at prep level, English nannies etc

"I’m lost. What is RP?" Received Pronunciation - what you might recognise as 1950's BBC accent. Not a real accent in terms of history/development, but a contrived way of speaking supposedly such that can be understood by anyone who speaks English.

"LordProfFekkoThePenguinPhD would said suburb be Bearsden perchance?" That's what I thought.

For what ot’s worth, I love an accent, i’m From mainland Europe and live in London, and I find «posh» English accent the least nice of them all, I love a Scottish accent especially... 😁

@loftyswaps988

Lol your post made me laugh. Yes, people think Glasgow is literally all like Trainspotting (even though that was actually set in Edinburgh). I once met a person at a party who was shocked to hear that BOTH my parents had university educations and asked how unusual that was in Glasgow! I think the media doesn’t help. Every time there is a story about drugs, poverty, crime etc they always go to Glasgow for material. Always to the poorest parts. Could be filmed anywhere in the U.K. but too often it’s Glasgow.

As a half Scottish, half English person who grew up in the South of England has now lived in NI for quite a long time (and experienced what England must be like for an outsider) ime it's less that English people wouldn't like you because of your accent and more that English people are weirded out by the friendliness of Scottish and NI people (and probably Welsh and Southern Irish too, just outside my own experience). I tried to make small talk with people last time I was back at my parents' (in the pub on Christmas Eve!) and despite having a posh English accent myself I got nowhere. Whereas in NI or Scotland you'd always get good chat in a pub, especially on Christmas bloody Eve! I honestly don't know if I could move back to England now.

Add me to the list. I used to work on SW Scotland and was friends with someone who worked in the same profession as I did. He invited me to Edinburgh one weekend where he was meeting his friends. He had a fairly RP accent, but was friendly with everybody. We arrived at his friend’s flat and everyone seemed very upper class.

Some of the women were at least polite, but one young man in particular was out and out rude about my presence. It was one of the most uncomfortable weekends of my life.

Ironically, I can speak in an RP accent and one day when I was working temporarily elsewhere, I used it when out at a client’s estate. I was quite shocked to be issued an invitation to go out riding with the daughters of the peer whose estate it was.

People definitely make flash judgements about other people based on their accent. People I’ve chatted to on the internet have been shocked on meeting me that I “sound so Scottish”. But now I use my own accent on point of principle. If people judge me, I know they’re shallow and unpleasant and not worth my time.

I’ve experienced this OP and it leaves you feeling really small. Thankfully only a very few times as I’m in the NW and people are generally pretty nice here. It’s been at posh dos when it’s happened though.
I remember the local Tory MP making fun of my accent in front of a group of people - that was a low point.
It does give you a small insight into what it’s like to be on the receiving end of racist comments .. each time it’s happened to me it’s left me feeling shit. I can’t imagine how tough it must be to have to deal with these ignorant attitudes frequently.

I've had the opposite - the only English accent in a group of scottish.

Do you want to be friends with a bunch of 'posh' English people? Think about it: you'd have to listen to their godawful accents all day, every day.

I'm only half-joking. I'm Irish and the modern posh English accent is like knives in my ears. I can't stand it. I don't mind the old fashioned 'Brief Encounter' era RP accent but the contemporary version is awful. It's at the point where I would switch channels on the radio if I hear someone with that accent.

Luckily I live in the USA so I don't have to deal with it much. I have noticed that the Americans are easily taken in by English accents though. They don't even have to be posh. Recently a friend told me that one of the parents at school sounds 'so refined' - she has an Essex accent that would strip paint, as it happens, but I guess that passes as refined to Americans

Anyway, embrace your Scottish accent and ignore snobbery. It's not worth your time. Try to find some better people to befriend!

At least you're not in Glasgow speaking the dreaded Glasgow Uni accent.

It's 30 year since I went to Glasgow Uni but I'm dying to know what you mean.

Personally if I had been there I would have preferred to stand and talk to you. I love hearing a Scottish accent and every Scottish person I have ever spoken to have been lovely.

My shepherdess has a 'posh' Scottish accent due to her being from an army family and going to private schools. She spends half her life shovelling shit and sticking her hands up cows' bottoms (she has a scanning business) She wouldn't dream of being snobby to all the farmers she works with. People who are confident in their own skin don't need to put others down. Be intimidated by no one.

People are so funny about accents.

I have a mildly posh English accent and struggled making friends when we lived in the NE. So many people confided in me that they thought I was a stuck up snobby bitch when they first heard me speak, but then found I wasn't at all when they got to know me! Lots of mocking of my accent and mimicking too over the years.

I live overseas now and it's quite liberating just having an English accent

I'd love a Scottish accent, or an Irish accent. I think they sound so beautiful!

Spot on @Graphista😉

all fur coat and no knickers as my mum used to say!

I'm Scottish (educated Glasgow accent, which is the nicest of all ) and spent years living down South, with well spoken English folks. I never felt left out, or looked down upon because of my accent. It sounds like they were up their own arses, but that's just the type of people they are anyway, and nothing to do with nationality

It's 30 year since I went to Glasgow Uni but I'm dying to know what you mean. Yes me too.

www.thescottishsun.co.uk/fabulous/3860688/glasgow-university-accent-comedian-nicki-bell-viral-video/. The Glasgow Uni Accent in all its glory!

There's a lady who is always on the school run with me. I don't know her and we've never spoken but we always seem to be getting to the school at the same time.

She is Scottish and her accent is so wonderful I try to stay behind her just to hear it for a bit longer

Scottish accents are one of the loveliest a person can have imo.

I bet there is one or two normal/nice people there tonight who were treated fine and as a result will take a lot longer to realise how shallow the others are. Your accent allowed you to see their true colours and not waste any more time on them.