To think that my Scottish accent wasn't posh enough?

[TheGoal]

I was at an event today with my kids. I was invited but I didn't know the vast majority of the other parents/children there.

Everyone at the event spoke with what can only be described as a posh English accent. I don't mean that to sound in any way offensive. I found the group to not be very friendly to me at all. I tried to make conversation with so many people, asking them about their children etc but as soon as I stopped asking questions, the conversation went dead. I got the impression they had no interest in chatting to me.

My background is that I'm from a fairly well off family, had a very comfortable upbringing, but I don't have a posh accent for whatever reason. I just talk, well, Scottish. I don't use slang words, my parents didn't so I suppose you just mirror your parents with that sort of thing. I suppose what I'm getting at is that I don't necessarily sound as though I'm from a well off family.

I found the whole group to be pretentious and my gut is telling me that I just didn't sound posh enough for them to want to mix with me?

Has anyone else experienced this? I'm feeling quite low tonight after what can only be described as a very unpleasant day being made to feel an outsider. It makes me really sad that people would think this way and although I don't have any hard evidence that my accent was the reason, I have a very strong gut feeling. It's sad to think people can be so shallow.

This happens to me but opposite way.

I am from Edinburgh council estate live in England. Everyone thinks I’m a posh Scot 🙈!

I'm from Liverpool I have a Scouse accent.

I'm ex army.

I'm well educated.

These days I'm pretty well off.

I get it all the time. I've gone the other way. I get more Scouse when u think that's why they are being rude.

Tbh, certain types of people will judge you on a bunch of different things. I have what could be considered (according to my husband anyway!) a posh English accent, i am well educated etc. But I am also overweight and not a fan of fashion (read: a bit of a slob) and I seem to generate the same looking-down-the-nose from some of the snootier mums at my kids school.

I ignore it to be honest and over time a lot of them have got over themselves

The accent thing is weird though because I naturally gravitate towards ANY accent that isn't local because I love chatting with people from all over. I've travelled a fair bit and really enjoy finding out about people who have lived elsewhere (even if just a different area if the UK).

^ this, exactly what I was going to say. DH is Scottish and even after 20 odd years of knowing him I can only understand every 3rd word FIL says and my family sometimes can’t understand DH. If people are not used to hearing an accent then it is difficult as it takes familiarity to understand. It could be they were scared to ask something in case they couldn’t understand the reply.

I've lived in England for the past 8 years and never experienced this treatment before so I'm sure it's not them not understanding me. My accent (I've been told) is much easier to understand than most Scottish accents and like I said, they were all able to answer the questions I was asking them.

Maybe they are just a weird cliquey group OP and don't like outsiders. I live in a small town in the south of England, quite a few ex pat Scots here, and it's a non issue.
(Unless you are Rab C Nesbitt?)

That sounds really stressful OP. Sorry youve had a tough day.

Are you new to England? Have you just moved? I see that you think that people could understand what you were saying but is this true?

Do you fit in well elsewhere? Other friendship groups? Work? Extended family, shopping etc?

Did you look the part?

Could it have been specifically to do with this group of people? Were they quite close-knit?

I have a middle class Scottish accent (born and brought up in Hyndland!). DP is English and his sister really made me laugh the first time I met her when she squealed 'Ooh you sound so Scottish!' I don't know what she would have said if I actually had a Glaswegian accent! I never feel my accent is strong until we visit DP's family and then I'm acutely aware of it!

I'm wondering why you think it was anything to do with your accent?

I meet plenty of people who have no interest in chatting to me, but it has never occurred to me that my accent was the problem. I choose to assume they are envious of by beauty and wit (ha!) but perhaps they just don't like me, which is fine.

There’s nothing as queer as folk!

I couldn’t give a shiny shite how anyone speaks. I love all accents.

Are you new to England? Have you just moved? I see that you think that people could understand what you were saying but is this true? I've lived in England for 8 years.

Do you fit in well elsewhere? Other friendship groups? Work? Extended family, shopping etc? Yes, I'm a sociable person who makes friends easily.

Did you look the part? I hope this doesn't come out wrong but I had my nails freshly painted, a small amount of fake tan, brows done a week ago and hair curled so was looking my best I suppose. Nice clothes on etc. I don't get out much with having young kids so like to make an effort when I do, particularly when I'm meeting new people .

Could it have been specifically to do with this group of people? Were they quite close-knit? No, they didn't all know each other but they all shared a mutual friend, if that makes sense.

I'm from near Glasgow, speak nicely, no slang and a recruitment agency in Edinburgh refused to sign me up telling me I "wasn't hoity-toity enough".

Is there such a thing as a posh Scottish accent??

I've got a middle class Edinburgh accent but my roots are solidly working class so my cousins living in a scheme thought I was a snob. I find myself getting more Scottish when I visit elsewhere in the UK.

Hersheys no we don't have posh people in Scotland

@Hersheys Really posh Scots talk in RP without a hint of a Scottish accent.

I think they were just twats. I have a similar accent to you, I think, I enunciate nicely and don’t use Scots words or slang but my vowels are 100% Scottish. I have always (20 years in Enand and counting) found it a real bonus as it puts me outside the traditional class perceptions of the English and their north v south debate. I have mixed with public school types, lots of very posh lawyers, people in finance etc and never ever felt looked down upon.

God @thegoal

I feel like I’m reading my words.

I look like a swishy Surrey mum; I’m blonde, wear neutral colours, have a DH from a naice Surrey town and the children look like angels too.

But I open my mouth and the Highland accent comes out (albeit RP Highland) and the same thing happens, I really do empathise.

I truly believe it’s been a barrier to my success in making (more) local mum friends and I find it a bit depressing they all tend to socialise together with DHs and DCs yet no invite comes my way.

And I think it is the perception of being “common” because of my accent and comprehensive education more than my being an absolute tosser or anything.

Maybe the crowd wasn't very welcoming and it wasn't you at all. I am sure your accent is fine honestly it is probably them sorry you had such a rotten time though.

Of course not Hershey we're a land of total poverty and low lives... How could anyone north of the border be 'posh' ..

• wondering if you were at @Thegoal 's thing.....

One woman literally walked away from me as I was speaking.

Some people can be downright rude. I'm Scottish but have a neutral accent, no-one can determine where I'm from. I've never experienced rudeness like mentioned on here, if I did I would just think it was their loss.

Absolutely not @Hershey

We’re all a bunch of oatcake chewing minks.

[waves across the A3]

Really posh Scots talk in RP without a hint of a Scottish accent.

Really you sure about that ?

Is there such a thing as a posh Scottish accent??

Speaking of rude people.

Is there such a thing as a posh Scottish accent??
Of course there is. Don't be ignorant, it doesn't suit anyone.

OP I've had this whilst presenting in London. Best I can say is that only those not totally comfortable with their own social strata will either ignore, ridicule or deride others, it's no reflection on you at all.

I've had this. Would have liked to point out that having a thick Welsh accent doesn't mean you're thick!!! Bloody gavin and Stacey hasn't helped the cause.