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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think that my Scottish accent wasn't posh enough?

190 replies

TheGoal · 09/03/2019 20:43

I was at an event today with my kids. I was invited but I didn't know the vast majority of the other parents/children there.

Everyone at the event spoke with what can only be described as a posh English accent. I don't mean that to sound in any way offensive. I found the group to not be very friendly to me at all. I tried to make conversation with so many people, asking them about their children etc but as soon as I stopped asking questions, the conversation went dead. I got the impression they had no interest in chatting to me.

My background is that I'm from a fairly well off family, had a very comfortable upbringing, but I don't have a posh accent for whatever reason. I just talk, well, Scottish. I don't use slang words, my parents didn't so I suppose you just mirror your parents with that sort of thing. I suppose what I'm getting at is that I don't necessarily sound as though I'm from a well off family.

I found the whole group to be pretentious and my gut is telling me that I just didn't sound posh enough for them to want to mix with me?

Has anyone else experienced this? I'm feeling quite low tonight after what can only be described as a very unpleasant day being made to feel an outsider. It makes me really sad that people would think this way and although I don't have any hard evidence that my accent was the reason, I have a very strong gut feeling. It's sad to think people can be so shallow.

OP posts:
Scottishgirl85 · 09/03/2019 21:41

I'm Scottish but live in a posh part of the South East. People find my accent fascinating and I fit in very well here. I think it was just the people you were with...

Nanalisa60 · 09/03/2019 21:42

I have always loved a Scottish accent , so much so that both my husbands have been Scottish, I have a Very strong London accent and I know the kind of posh English accent people you are taking about!! Believe me they are not worth the sh*^t on your shoes!! they think they are better then anyone with any accent other then there plum in the mouth twatty accents. We would live in a very boring county if we all sounded if we had all gone to private school in the Home Counties. I have always thought if you can only like people who sound and look like you then your really aren’t worth my time of day!! The different accents in the uk make our country so interesting and incredible. So just embrace your own accent and don’t give a tinkers class to anyone who thinks you aren’t good enough for them!! Just because you have a different accent!!

TwitterQueen1 · 09/03/2019 21:42

OP, with the greatest respect, I do think you're being super-sensitive about your accent here... The reason being that a Scottish accent (to me) is completely classless. I can assure you that none of us southern softies could distinguish between a 'posh or not' Scottish or Irish / N Irish or Welsh accent.
Also:
I've lived in England for the past 8 years and never experienced this treatment before
It can't be your accent then, can it? Maybe just a bunch of unfriendly women who don't deserve this amount of worrying and fretting!

BiscuitDrama · 09/03/2019 21:43

As someone with an English accent, I’ve always envied a Scottish accent as being immune to being classed as ‘posh’ or ‘common’ by English people. I say that because I’ve felt judged (both ways!) at times.
Just goes to show I might be a bit naive there.
Or perhaps there was something else going on.

wigglybeezer · 09/03/2019 21:43

Hershey's, really?
Do you ever watch Newsnight?, Kirsty Wark has a posh Scottish accent. We have middle class people and professionals and " naice" suburbs, private schools and ancient universities, do you think everyone sounds like Rab C Nesbitt?
( Remembers my posh Glasgow granny recoiling in horror hearing me pronounce " worm" as "wurrum").

GoGoGadgetGin · 09/03/2019 21:44

Yep mrsjay ever been near 'landed gentry' or anyone who attended Gordonstoun, Loretto, Fettes? Why so incredulous?

Springwalk · 09/03/2019 21:44

People often call me ‘posh’ and I meet the kind of people you describe frequently.
It has nothing to do with your accent let me assure you, they are like that with pretty much everyone. Unless they are intoxicated, and then they loosen enough to see the insecurity and become slightly more human.

Do NOT take it personally op, this is not about you. It is about them.
The aloof exterior is simply there as a protective mechanism.

Continue to be friendly, unaffected and be glad you do not have to suffer these fools daily.

SuziQ10 · 09/03/2019 21:44

People love the Scottish accent. I certainly do and I'm a Londoner (to be honest we're pretty used to hearing many different accents from all over).

I doubt your accent had anything to do with it.

Bellendejour · 09/03/2019 21:46

I’m Scottish but have a v weak accent after living SE for years and have experienced similar - I don’t think it’s an accent thing, I just think some people are twattish and ignorant. I always just think thank god I never have to hang out with those DEATHLY BORES ever again! I’m sorry they made you feel bad, but you really shouldn’t.

Ledehe · 09/03/2019 21:46

At least you're not in Glasgow speaking the dreaded Glasgow Uni accent.

I'm from a proper Glasgow council scheme so speak slang (or should that be Scots) but have a telephone voice for work. English people love my accent generally

Skittlesss · 09/03/2019 21:47

I have a Yorkshire accent and I am chunky/overweight (as mentioned by a previous poster) and people often think I’m “a bit thick”.

MrsJayy · 09/03/2019 21:47

Yep mrsjay ever been near 'landed gentry' or anyone who attended Gordonstoun, Loretto, Fettes? Why so incredulous?

Scottish Landed gentry tend to be English or at least educated in England

Original poster
TheGoal · 09/03/2019 21:49

As someone with an English accent, I’ve always envied a Scottish accent as being immune to being classed as ‘posh’ or ‘common’ by English people. I say that because I’ve felt judged (both ways!) at times.
Just goes to show I might be a bit naive there. Or perhaps there was something else going on

I do see what you're saying here and you may be right with that. If what you're saying is right (that a Scottish accent is immune from being classed as posh or common) then that was entirely the problem I had today. These people only wanted to converse with people who sounded posh but unfortunately I didn't sound posh enough for their liking.

OP posts:
Auldspinster · 09/03/2019 21:50

Scottish landed gentry are ScottishHmm

dementedma · 09/03/2019 21:53

I work with a lot of ex-military landed gentry types here in Scotland and most of them have English accents as thats where they went to boarding school.

Milliy · 09/03/2019 21:53

Probably nothing to do with your accent. Just people who know each other and dont know you. Has happened to me many many times over the years and my accent is described as posh. Dont think of it as personal (hard as that is)

GoGoGadgetGin · 09/03/2019 21:53

@auldspinster you got there before me!

PenelopeFlintstone · 09/03/2019 21:53

GreatDuckCookery - Are you ok in general OP? Just seems like a strong reaction to have.

I'd say it's a perfectly normal reaction to being iced out at a social event.

GrandTheftWalrus · 09/03/2019 21:58

Suzie in river city has a very posh accent.

Loftyswops988 · 09/03/2019 21:59

I feel the struggle OP, brought up in west end of Glasgow too, and DPs southern english family seem to be very judgemental on my accent! I don't think they can get their head around the fact that someone can be Scottish and well spoken, and ask me about where I'm from as if its some sort of dump 'were you awfully frightened at night in Glasgow', etc etc. Frustrating!

BookClubBlues · 09/03/2019 21:59

@thegoal I also have a posh middle class Scottish accent and live in the south east. Most of the time English people love my accent and go ‘oooh it’s so soft, I can actually understand what you’re saying Hmm’ BUT I have had occasions over the past 10 years where your experience has happened to me, and it’s definitely people judging Scottish people as common. It’s frustrating but I try and remember I probably unconsciously do it too, eg judging someone as a ‘posh’ English person, surprise at West Country accents I encounter in my very technical field at work, etc etc. It’s very hard to be unbiased.

applesandpears33 · 09/03/2019 21:59

wigglybeezer - My gran would have got on well with your gran. I was made to practice saying "bird" instead of "burrrd".

Do the Scottish landed gentry tend to be educated in England? I thought they tended to be educated at Scottish boarding schools.

StoneofDestiny · 09/03/2019 22:00

Can't believe it's anything to do with your accent.
I'm a Scot with a Glasgow accent - never been snubbed because of it. If I was they'd be no loss to me.

BookClubBlues · 09/03/2019 22:01

As a side note at the posh Scottish boarding schools a RP English accent is used. So yes to the PP who said the really posh Scots have an English accent - this is absolutely true.

whatashower · 09/03/2019 22:04

I'm with those that say it is far more likely the group were just socially awkward with a stranger. It's awful, but just bad manners not prejudice.

Time to roll out an old favourite to cheer you up, op. (assuming you still have a great Scottish sense of humour as well as the accent😀)

m.youtube.com/watch?v=sAz_UvnUeuU

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