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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Stranger giving my 4 month old food from her finger?

45 replies

NotSureIfBU · 09/03/2019 19:26

So I was at a baby shower today. My son is 4 months old today.

A lady whom I have never met, and still don't know who she is or what her name is was sitting next to MIL. MIL was holding my 4 month old.

Everyone was eating and I looked over to see said stranger putting her finger in my sons mouth with food on it. She saw me look and said "don't worry, it's only blank" (can't remember what food she said now as I'm so angry)

My concern is, she doesn't even know mine or my child's name, if he has any allergies, or if I'm even weaning him yet (she'd only seen me give him a bottle while there so as far as she's concerned he's only drinking milk!!)

AIBU to be completely and utterly livid about this?

OP posts:
Original poster
NotSureIfBU · 09/03/2019 19:27

Also I know babies get germs etc in their mouths all the time and I'm definitely not a mother who wraps her baby in cotton wool. But to intentionally give a 4 month old food off your finger whom you don't even know? Just seems wrong to me...

OP posts:
dementedpixie · 09/03/2019 19:28

I'd be angry too. You didn't even know who she was

CottonSock · 09/03/2019 19:28

Yanbu, and I'd be livid

Ellieboolou27 · 09/03/2019 19:29

Yuk, YANU that’s vile. Yes, I’d be pissed off and definitely would have made it known to her.

ZippyBungleandGeorge · 09/03/2019 19:30

Did you tell her it's no solids until six months and to get her finger out of your baby's mouth? I would've

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 09/03/2019 19:30

I’d have gone off at her- seriously not on!

Sexnotgender · 09/03/2019 19:30

I’d be livid too. What the fuck is wrong with people?

SrSteveOskowski · 09/03/2019 19:30

YANBU. I'd be absolutely fuming!Angry

Lana1234 · 09/03/2019 19:30

Yanbu Shock did you say anything? I would have absolutely told her to stop what she was doing

OhHelp0hNo · 09/03/2019 19:30

Wow, I would have been absolutely livid!! YADNBU.
The fact that he's only 4 months old, you don't even know her, putting her finger in his mouth (yuck!). I would have confronted her, definitely.

NuffSaidSam · 09/03/2019 19:31

Livid is an over reaction. And pointless because it's done now.

But YANBU to be annoyed and a bit disgusted!

She stepped well over the line, but probably meant well.

It's done. Calm down and move on.

Magissa · 09/03/2019 19:31

I would be so angry. As you say the woman has no idea what you baby may be allergic to. If she was sat with mother in law do you think she gave her the go ahead to do this?

sidesplittinglol · 09/03/2019 19:31

I'd be angry at someone doing this for various reasons:

  1. She's a bloody stranger
  2. God knows where her fingers have been. Some people don't know how to wash hands properly after using the loo
  3. Your baby may have allergies
  4. It's too Early to introduce foods to them that their body isn't ready for
  5. You may not have started weaning them
lanclass1 · 09/03/2019 19:31

I'm pretty relaxed about most things but I would be livid at that for several reasons!

MyBreadIsEggy · 09/03/2019 19:32

I’d be furious. And would probably be spending tonight in a cell.
One of my DCs has life threatening food allergies. If the mystery food had contained milk, he could easily be dead.

People are so fucking stupid sometimes it is infuriating Confused

ethelfleda · 09/03/2019 19:32

I don’t think livid is an overreaction. I think that woman was completely inappropriate! I can’t even get my head around someone doing it!!

Original poster
NotSureIfBU · 09/03/2019 19:33

I think she saw me staring and that's why she said 'don't worry it's just xxx!' Then my MIL turned him around so he wasn't facing her as she thought it was bad too.

One of those situations where I should've said something but at the time I was so taken aback by it I just didn't say anything??

OP posts:
Talkingfrog · 09/03/2019 19:35

Yanbu. Even with a toddler or older child I know well, I would ask the parent first before giving them something (unless I was responsible for them at the time)

2birds1stone · 09/03/2019 19:36

I hope that woman is a mumsnetter, sees this, realises it's about her and feels bloody ashamed and learns from it.

ViolaD77 · 09/03/2019 19:37

Did u find out who she was?

NuffSaidSam · 09/03/2019 19:37

Was she an older woman? In my head she's in her late 50's at least, maybe older.

Ansumpasty · 09/03/2019 19:41

YANBU, I’d be angry, too.

I had a similar thing happen when my son was a baby. A friend of the family was holding him at a funeral and eating nuts and prawns. I then saw her letting my son suck and chew on her fingers. Not cool

Cherrysoup · 09/03/2019 19:42

Was she an older woman? In my head she's in her late 50's at least, maybe older

Why is this relevant?

badwedding · 09/03/2019 19:46

A colleague of my mums did this to my son when he was 5mths old. I was weaning but she gave him A bit of Cadbury's whole nut. I was 😱😱😱 My mum couldn't get me out her work quickly enough as she could see my face of thunder.

I'd never feed somebody else's infant child anything!

NuffSaidSam · 09/03/2019 19:47

'Why is this relevant?'

I'm curious if the image in my head is accurate. I think it's the sort of thing an older person could do in all innocence. I'd be less forgiving of a younger person, unless so young they were a teen/child.

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