Stranger giving my 4 month old food from her finger?

[NotSureIfBU]

So I was at a baby shower today. My son is 4 months old today.

A lady whom I have never met, and still don't know who she is or what her name is was sitting next to MIL. MIL was holding my 4 month old.

Everyone was eating and I looked over to see said stranger putting her finger in my sons mouth with food on it. She saw me look and said "don't worry, it's only blank" (can't remember what food she said now as I'm so angry)

My concern is, she doesn't even know mine or my child's name, if he has any allergies, or if I'm even weaning him yet (she'd only seen me give him a bottle while there so as far as she's concerned he's only drinking milk!!)

AIBU to be completely and utterly livid about this?

Was she foreign? It's recommended in some countries to give babies this age 'tiny tastes' of food. Britain is behind the latest research on this.

Although being a stranger and doing it is weird.

people seem to be doing this alot. My children have been offered various things and I find it really inappropriate and dont get why people think its ok. My son was offered peanuts by someone (how do they know he doesnt have an allergy??!) and at the bus stop a little while ago a young girl handed my baby a crisp!! I had to tell her no.

@NuffSaidSam I think so, possibly the age to be a grandmother

I would have been unable to prevent myself from saying something at the time and taking my baby away from her. It's absolutely not up to her as a total stranger what food your baby has and when.

Someone did this to me too a few years ago when my daughter was a baby.
We were in the carvery and a woman walked past with a bowl of ice cream, stopped to chat to the baby and before I knew it stuck her finger in the ice cream, then in my baby's mouth. I was so shocked but I didnt really react as I wanted to as she was very elderly.

I'm in my 'late 50s' 😉and wouldn't do this.

However, the concept that 'babies don't do solids before 6 months' - is just the latest fashion.

20 years ago, the advice I got was to watch the baby, see how they react to you eating, at about 4-5 months. DS1 had his first baby rice at 4.5 months.

@Miljah we have started introducing foods as my mother etc advised they did with me. But yes it was absolutely not her place to assume that we are introducing foods!

It's not about weaning advice and ages for offering solids. It's about a total stranger without asking deciding to give food, off her hand, to someone else's baby. That's totally weird and inappropriate!

Coming along and saying that it's ok because you think babies should be given solid foods at 4 months is utterly missing the point.

That is grim and I can’t see how anyone wouldn’t know that!

@AssassinatedBeauty this is it. What if my baby had a deathly allergy to what they gave him but obviously is too young to refuse it? He's at the teething stage so anything that goes in his mouth his chews/sucks on. It's really upset me!

Entirely inappropriate for many reasons, massively overstepping boundaries, and not normal.i think livid is an entirely acceptable response!

And you should have pulled her up on it, to make her aware of how unacceptable it was. MIL should have if you didn't.

What about the next stranger she does it to, maybe one with allergies, medical issues or not weaned...?!

YANBU! Why would someone do that, I just dont understand! At least your MIL turned baby away from her and understood. I would have been speechless too!

‘Fashion’?! It’s not ‘fashion’ Miljah it’s based on the latest more up to date research! Of course it changes over time as all information and research does as more technology and investigation is done. And should always be stuck to unless dr says otherwise. Little bodies just aren’t ready and there’s no benefit to early weaning.

YANBU. I wouldn’t give baby DGD food unless it was something I know she’s has before and definitely not at 4 flipping months.

I would be furious if I’d seen someone do this. Aside from potential food allergies she doesn’t know about you just don’t feed someone else’s baby without asking if it’s ok! Even now with my 21 month old if one of the other toddlers come up and want something he is eating I always ask the parent if it’s ok.

YANBU to be livid.
YABU to have not said anything to her about it.

I love it when people refer to scientific research as "fashion".
I suppose the medicine I'm taking for my illness is also "fashionable" as it wasn't advised 10 years ago. Idiots.

Back to OP, I seriously would have walked up to her with a glob of food on my finger and offered her a suck. Why on earth she thought it was acceptable is beyond me.
But please OP, you are there to protect your kids, please speak up when someone does this!

What Cherrysoup said - totally irrelevant

I would be fuming, not just because of the food and germs but also how do you know she is not a smoker and putting her disgusting fingers in your babies mouth. I personally would have to of said something at the time but then i never have known when to keep my mouth shut.