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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Birthday and no gifts

82 replies

Mummyshark2019 · 09/03/2019 14:13

This is not the first birthday I have not received anything. I am not a grabby person but it just makes me feel like I don't matter to anyone. That I am not special. I always make birthdays a big thing for loved ones and no one reciprocates with me. My husband has confessed to not getting me anything and has no plans to do so either. Feeling very sad tbh. It is not a materialistic thing. I just feel un loved.

OP posts:

WordInYourShellLike · 09/03/2019 14:19

Happy birthday Mummyshark Here are some virtual MN pressies!
Really sorry no-one is spoiling you on your birthday - that's just rubbish. I think you should demand some money from your DH and go out and treat yourself. Make sure it's enough for something special. Maybe you should threaten to go on strike from doing all household tasks until something changes?

BooksAreMyOnlyFriends · 09/03/2019 14:19

Happy Birthday

That's a bit mean especially as you do for others. Did dh have a reason for not getting anything? Did he forget or just not know what to get?

It's not to late for him to do something, even if it's a takeaway and bottle of wine.

Failing that, stuff the lot of them and go and buy yourself something that you really love.

Whisky2014 · 09/03/2019 14:20

What's his reason for not intending to get you anything?

Whisky2014 · 09/03/2019 14:21

Don't bloody do anything for his birthday op!

Funkyslippers · 09/03/2019 14:22

You poor thing. I'd ask why he hasn't at least got you something small, it's the thought that counts.

Happy birthday Cake: cake

Put your feet up and do what you want to do

Monny1 · 09/03/2019 14:27

Happy Birthday to you op! Definitely tell your dh to take you out to dinner tonight.

WooYa · 09/03/2019 14:29

Happy birthday! 🎂🥂🎁
He's sounds a bit shit. I wouldn't do anything for his birthday and I would re-evaluate how far you go on others' birthdays too.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 09/03/2019 14:29

YANBU. It is bloody lousy and shitty that not a single person has put their hand In their pocket.
I'm sure you weren't expecting the Crown Jewels and The Queen's Castle along with a silver unicorn.
A box of chocolates bubble bath and bottle of wine would have sufficed.
Stop making an effort. You don't get any better thought of. Let everyone else's birthday come and go, like yours do.
By the way you share your birthday with my lovely departed mum.

IPokeBadgers · 09/03/2019 14:30

Why the Fuck has your husband not marked your birthday with even a token gift? What a wanker.

If you have any spare cash, take yourself off out and do.something nice for yourself.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 09/03/2019 14:30

Todaythiscouldbe · 09/03/2019 14:32

Happy birthday. I know how you feel, my birthday was yesterday and it was exactly the same. I treated myself to wine and chocolates. I've also made a promise not to bother for anyone else this year x

HeathRobinson · 09/03/2019 14:37

Happy birthday Mummyshark2019

Happy birthday Todaythiscouldbe

Honestly that's pretty rubbish of those around you.

Gotthetshirt23 · 09/03/2019 14:44

Is he always such a twat ?
Treat yourself and then treat him the same in his birthday.... and Christmas

Furble · 09/03/2019 14:45

Aww happy birthday to you! It’s my birthday today too, no presents from anyone here either but sadly have come to find that to be somewhat the norm over the years, I’ll insist on a shopping trip or a night out soon. Hope you have a lovely day, do something you enjoy xxx

Original poster

Mummyshark2019 · 09/03/2019 14:46

Thanks so much. I am actually crying reading this. I do not expect much. But I just feel so unloved. Like I really don't matter to anyone. My child is only little so can't get me anything but he has made me feel a little better. The reason he gave was thinking thought it was Monday. I am definitely not getting him anything for his. I say this every year but I swear I am not going to. I have had enough. My birthday always makes me sad as I never have anyone make me feel special.

OP posts:

edwinbear · 09/03/2019 14:48

Happy Birthday MummyShark. Your husband is an arse, does he not feel embarrassed having ignored his wife’s birthday? Does he actually believe that’s an OK thing to do?

pilates · 09/03/2019 14:50

Oh mummy that’s made me feel so sad for you 💐 is it just birthdays he is thoughtless?

EvaHarknessRose · 09/03/2019 14:51

Can you take your son out to the shops, choose something you like and let him 'buy it for you', or set him up with a crayon to draw you a card. You sound like a fabulous Mum who gives a lot to those around you, and yes they are thoughtless, but that is no reflection on your value. You are great

TheFaerieQueene · 09/03/2019 14:51

Your biggest present to yourself would be to get out of a loveless relationship.

Wishing you a lovely day with your DS.

Leyani · 09/03/2019 14:52

I'd tell him exactly how it makes you feel and that you expect better. Tell him to get his act together and work out how to make you feel special. If he refuses, I'd go on strike. Don't do anything for him and ignore he's even around. He needs to understand that this is a big and important thing, that he's hurting you and you're not just going to go on as usual pretending everything is fine.

Loopytiles · 09/03/2019 14:52

That’s shit of your H. If money allows why not leave DC with H and go somewhere to get or do something nice for yourself?

SupremeDreamz · 09/03/2019 14:57

Happy Birthday Mummyshark2019

Original poster

Mummyshark2019 · 09/03/2019 15:03

Thank you everyone. Ds made me a card and actually said I am sorry about what happened on your birthday. Broke my heart. Anyway, just another day to try and forget. Thanks to everyone though. You truly have made me feel a little better.

OP posts:

Shoveitupyourbum · 09/03/2019 15:05

Happy birthday op

HoraceCope · 09/03/2019 15:06

I would have made a point of saying, Lets do this for my birthday, make the plans, breakfast, lunch, cinema, whatever you like

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