M in law thinks I need to be a part of her family

[Tweety1981]

M in law told me that my children and my husband are her family ...

And

Do I not want to be a part of her family ?!

Back story is that in laws MIL and FIL don’t like me and feel that they should have greater control over me and my OH and children .

We live a few hours away and used to visit once a fortnight but don’t anymore ( as often ).

They were taking photos of my children behind my back to put on social media ( which I dont want and had told them not to )

Take my children ( very young ) and try to seperate me from them ( my children ) when they visit.

Wanted to watch me breastfeed and wanted me to leave my bedroom door open when I stay over at theirs with my husband etc...

AIBU to feel totally stressed by them ...

My only child comment works both ways though. My point was it's being used to excuse bad behaviour on their part too. Why? Who cares if he's an only child? I am a huge believer in family - not an option to be otherwise in my culture - but that doesn't mean we put up with this type of controlling behaviour. They sound unhinged to me.

I also now think that OH is not putting his foot down enough despite agreeing that their behaviour is poor.
He could ask his dad to take his shoes off but always avoids the confrontation .. even if he knows that my FIL does wrong ...