AIBU to never go here again & tell everyone I know how awful it is?

[FrazzledCareerWoman]

New fancy "mums brasserie" type place has opened in the London suburb where I live. Think zone 3, up and coming area. Lots of yummy mummies, baby classes, mums fitness, etc around. People have money to spend.

So they open this place that is marketed as a wellness and foodie experience where you can have lunch and spa treatments while they watch your little darlings. Sounds amazing, non?

They also will have classes for the kids that are put on by external providers, and a soft play area.

Okay, fine. Me and NCT friend decide to go and check it out just for lunch.

Well, I think I'm still in shock. No alcohol at all firstly - I tried to order a glass of Prosecco and they were like "what's that"? So clearly missing a trick there 🤷🏻‍♀️

Secondly, waiting staff obviously had never worked in so much as a greasy spoon previously as they were faffing around doing very little, extremely inattentive and managed to take an hour to bring our starters and a further 30 mins for our next courses. To be fair they claimed this was due to a power cut (which lasted about 5 mins after we had already been waiting for an hour).

Thirdly, it was eye wateringly expensive. Their sushi chef hadn't started yet and so they was barely anything on the menu that was available.

Our bill was £43, no alcohol, 1 tea, 1 latte, 1 dip with crudités, 1 broccoli soup, 1 stale foccacia slice, 1 eggs Benedict with cold sauce , 1 basic salad.

I waited an hour for a “Japanese style avocado salad” that was cucumber tomato and iceberg lettuce. The bread with my soup was stale.

So you would think we were offered our meal for free after all that wouldn't you? Well not only am I ashamed to say I didn't blink and paid the full £43 when asked but the owner had the audacity to offer us "a free dish next time you come".

I feel like they are totally ruining something that could have been great! And they are clearly mental and have done zero research. Membership is around £500 a year.

Just speechless.

OP I neither live in London nor am middle class (poor Northerner) however I love your posting style and can't understand the lack of humour around here
PS I've been around these parts for so long I remember when it was all fields and when sense of humour was a 'thing' rather than the proffecionally offended snowflakes that seem to litter this site nowadays

Thank you @ResistanceIsNecessary I've definitely noticed an increase in humourless responses (not just on this thread)

Thanks @LadyBahBahBah exactly - where's the fun in that

@FauxJoMalaux I thought it was a brilliant idea too, that's why we went! And in answer to your question - yes you can but members get priority.

I wish they'd just told us they had no chef at the moment (irony of finding out only now on MN explains a lot!) and we would have had lunch elsewhere. Maybe popped in for a coffee and a chat to find out more.

Professionally . Bloody autocorrect let me down again 😂

Good god OP. I'm glad you don't seem fazed by the attacks on you. There's nothing wrong with being a bit jokey ffs. At least it makes a change from all the virtue signalling and tiresome auto-offendedness.

I was also here when it was all green fields. I don't think the humour has gone, it's just a smaller proportion now and it's harder to hear amidst the other stuff.

@TheDarkPassenger I agree £43 is fine for two lunches if they are actually lunch size dishes.

Is it just me or is £43 not bad for 2x2 courses? I’m in the North east of England!

Sure, if it's actual food, not some minging soup, an egg dish and some disgusting salad.

Or even tiny dishes if they are well executed!

Oh I was SO looking forward to trying this place. Maybe not!

I'm definitely going to email the owner and just ask why on earth they didn't come clean about the chef and give her proper feedback. It seems mad that they tried to blag it!

They're getting lots of hype online locally so sounds like they're going to be unprepared /caught out quite badly which is a shame!

I’m intrigued
Zone 3
Membership
Doesn’t quite add up, where is this place?

@Chocolateandwineplease27 eek. They need to take a pause on serving food till they have a chef. And employ staff that know how to wait tables

@MarshaBradyo that's exactly it - totally new concept for this area. Massively over marketed jt online

I'd message the owner definitely. Pretty poor decision making not to come clean about it and close the kitchen. I wouldn't be impressed with offer of a free dish because I'd make it clear I had no intention of returning. Menu sounds scanty and not very joined up, tbh.

I can't abide prosecco but would have enjoyed a glass of wine with my meal.

They need to take a pause on serving food till they have a chef. And employ staff that know how to wait tables

This. I'm sure the decision to keep the kitchen open was economically motivated but doing this is false economy because they wind up with shit reviews and people put off returning.

I'd see what she says first in response and then I might leave a poor review.

All a bit over the top OP. You went out for lunch you didn't like it. Meh... You criticise the other patrons, there was no alcohol - didn't you look at the menu first? Very long post for no reason.

Would hardly expect somewhere designed for mum's and babies to serve alcohol.

Props to @FrazzledCareerWoman - you own this thread the way you're brushing off the flames

If the owner is reading this can you bring one over to SE London (not joking I think it could work if done as well as the website claims)

No, it’s not inverted snobbery. It’s straightforward normal snobbery. Put it this way, the Queen is never going to explain that there are lots of Princesses and Duchesses where she is so of course they are a great market for tiaras, jewellery and faberge eggs and they have the money to spend on them. She’s never going to call Windsor ‘Chateau de la Granny’ to make it sound sophisticated or confide it costs £32 million a year to get a gaff like hers.

It’s a stereotypical lower middle class and nouveau riche behaviour to drop in comments alluding to wealth and class into conversation and it’s certainly not inverted snobbery because it’s the people above them who disapprove of it, not the people below.

It’s a stock character in English culture and media, the arriviste working class person that doesn’t know the rules and makes a fool of themselves by trying to show off, Delboy, Rodney, Boyce, Marlene. Hyacinth Bucket, Bob from the Likely Lads, Bev from Abigail’s party.

Stealth brags and outright brags about money and status or conspicuous consumption are not a characteristic of the upper or established middle classes in the UK. They’re not. They’re associated with the bottom rungs, not the top.

There’s a very good explanation of it in this book “Watching the English” by Kate Fox:

ilmk.khspu.ru/?wpfb_dl=171

Grayson Perry also did a brilliant documentary on Tribes (on YouTube) which covered it too. He explored the lower middle class anxieties about status and display through watching Jamie Oliver brand parties because apparently at the time that was the fashionable thing in those circles and the people he was filming were very anxious to buy the right items and put them on display so they wouldn’t lose face. Whereas the established middle classes were a bit bemused by it and didn’t see any need to change from their usual good quality cookware.

It is snobbery, but it’s not inverted.

Oh it's SW London. Nevermind. I'd go to this of it ever comes East...