AIBU to never go here again & tell everyone I know how awful it is?

[FrazzledCareerWoman]

New fancy "mums brasserie" type place has opened in the London suburb where I live. Think zone 3, up and coming area. Lots of yummy mummies, baby classes, mums fitness, etc around. People have money to spend.

So they open this place that is marketed as a wellness and foodie experience where you can have lunch and spa treatments while they watch your little darlings. Sounds amazing, non?

They also will have classes for the kids that are put on by external providers, and a soft play area.

Okay, fine. Me and NCT friend decide to go and check it out just for lunch.

Well, I think I'm still in shock. No alcohol at all firstly - I tried to order a glass of Prosecco and they were like "what's that"? So clearly missing a trick there 🤷🏻‍♀️

Secondly, waiting staff obviously had never worked in so much as a greasy spoon previously as they were faffing around doing very little, extremely inattentive and managed to take an hour to bring our starters and a further 30 mins for our next courses. To be fair they claimed this was due to a power cut (which lasted about 5 mins after we had already been waiting for an hour).

Thirdly, it was eye wateringly expensive. Their sushi chef hadn't started yet and so they was barely anything on the menu that was available.

Our bill was £43, no alcohol, 1 tea, 1 latte, 1 dip with crudités, 1 broccoli soup, 1 stale foccacia slice, 1 eggs Benedict with cold sauce , 1 basic salad.

I waited an hour for a “Japanese style avocado salad” that was cucumber tomato and iceberg lettuce. The bread with my soup was stale.

So you would think we were offered our meal for free after all that wouldn't you? Well not only am I ashamed to say I didn't blink and paid the full £43 when asked but the owner had the audacity to offer us "a free dish next time you come".

I feel like they are totally ruining something that could have been great! And they are clearly mental and have done zero research. Membership is around £500 a year.

Just speechless.

"
Surely people must make a business plan and think about how they're going to do things? How can people who've decided to run a cafe be worse at cobbling food and drinks together than the average person?"

Exactly!

Judging by the responses on here (did you read the menu etc) I think I did a bad job of describing how awful the food and service actually were. In contrast to what was on menu / advertised

London problem. Poor eating places are pretty much the norm elsewhere. Just put a review on Trip Adviser, it does not merit your outrage.

I'd expect a restaurant to serve alcohol and fresh food tbh. First world problems or not, that doesn't seem an unreasonable request.

Yes. Thank you

'Saw you coming' comes to mind.

Didn't raise it at the time, wish I had, was just so awkward and taken aback!
Not outraged

@1ndig0 the cat café is a guilty pleasure of mine, I'd meet a friend there for lunch if we were having bad work days, jumped the shark with cereal killer café though, DH warned me 'sounds like wanky hipster shite' , but I was pregnant and wanted a cereal milk latte and a poptart ice cream Sandwich (go on MN judge me). It was about thirty quid for the above another coffee and a bowl of cereal. Back to the Beigel bake for us.

Honestly OP, I cringed with embarrassment for you reading that. It’s just so ‘Abigail’s Party’ or Hyacinth Bucket with her candlelight suppers.

It’s just really trying far too hard. You’re frantically trying to signal that you are middle class and financially comfortable. It actually makes you look precisely the opposite of how you think you it does.

I mean, using phrases like “mums brasserie”, “mums fitness” and “health and wellness experience” and dropping other stereotypical middle class cliches like NCT and turning your nose up at greasy spoons. You actually come across as being quite classless and tacky.

No person ever has referred to a restaurant as ‘mums brasserie”. You’ve shoehorned that in because you think it makes you sound sophisticated but actually it just sounds wank and infantile.

Well this is going well

Wow. They do actually describe it as a brasserie but I didn't want to out them specifically. @BejamNostalgia
I'm not trying to signal anything, worked in cafes myself as a teen and student.
I'm guilty of trying to make a post a bit funnier than a list of reasonable facts. This is AIBU after all!

@BejamNostalgia do you enjoy personally attacking people on MN ? Do fuck off.

Also,, projecting much

I think that BejamNostalgia's uswername and posting convey a massive sense of inverted snobbery. Which is just as pathetic as bog standard snobbery.

It sounds like such a wanky, try-hard establishment. Even so, anywhere that markets itself as a hub of 'wellness' isn't going to serve prosecco.

Concept alone sounds like 7th circle of hell. Obviously it's going to be hideous. But if it keeps brasserie mums out of the members room at the Tate I'm all for it.

Presumably the £43 also covers childcare. Unless they get the kids in the kitchen making ip the plates of salad

What are the baby classes? Are they training them up to be chefs and that's why the food is a bit shit?

Is it just me or is £43 not bad for 2x2 courses? I’m in the North east of England!

More the fool you. If it looks like it’s gonna be a rip off it will be a rip-off!

Can you just pop in and have linch, treatments, soft play without the membership?
I saw it advertised and thought it was a brilliant idea!

Dark it's not cheap but I agree its not out of the ordinary. Also in the North East.

I think people who start these kinds of businesses are often enthusiastic amateurs on a steep learning curve. We’ve had a new place open near us that’s soft play/ gymnastics etc. It is lovely on the inside and mainly well thought out but the parking is utterly horrendous. Which might not be a deal breaker if it wasn’t the middle of the sodding Cotswolds with no public transport. Of course everyone turns up by car.

Hopefully the place you went to will sort out it’s teething issues.

I like Prosecco and don't care if people think it's downmarket. I prefer it to champagne because it's lighter and not quite so dry in taste - due to the grapes used and fermentation process. I also like Cava for similar reasons although it tends to be drier.

I don't have much time for people who sneer at the food and drink that others enjoy. It smacks of snobbery - inverse or otherwise.

As for the OP, it struck me as tongue in cheek and I am not sure why it's getting such a humourless bashing. I've been on MN in one form or another since 2010 and I think there has been a definite change in terms of joyless responses. I'm only surprised that nobody has castigated the OP for going out for lunch instead of being at home burning tea towels and getting 7 meals out of a standard roast chicken...

I’m that po-faced I’d have judged a kids play establishment for serving Prosecco. And I’m so london that in my day zone three were the suburbs and not London and members clubs for kids was parties at Soho House and 2 year old dropping e’s they found on the floor

Sounds like a real wanky place to me. I don't give a toss to admit I'm middle class (by birth, not necessarily the way I live or think) and far prefer a greasy spoon to this kind of fresh hell.... Think 'Motherland' and similar! However, since you went there OP, I can't blame you for asking for a glass of fizz. I'd need it with all that pretension present!! Just vote with your feet and don't go again....