AIBU to never go here again & tell everyone I know how awful it is?

[FrazzledCareerWoman]

New fancy "mums brasserie" type place has opened in the London suburb where I live. Think zone 3, up and coming area. Lots of yummy mummies, baby classes, mums fitness, etc around. People have money to spend.

So they open this place that is marketed as a wellness and foodie experience where you can have lunch and spa treatments while they watch your little darlings. Sounds amazing, non?

They also will have classes for the kids that are put on by external providers, and a soft play area.

Okay, fine. Me and NCT friend decide to go and check it out just for lunch.

Well, I think I'm still in shock. No alcohol at all firstly - I tried to order a glass of Prosecco and they were like "what's that"? So clearly missing a trick there 🤷🏻‍♀️

Secondly, waiting staff obviously had never worked in so much as a greasy spoon previously as they were faffing around doing very little, extremely inattentive and managed to take an hour to bring our starters and a further 30 mins for our next courses. To be fair they claimed this was due to a power cut (which lasted about 5 mins after we had already been waiting for an hour).

Thirdly, it was eye wateringly expensive. Their sushi chef hadn't started yet and so they was barely anything on the menu that was available.

Our bill was £43, no alcohol, 1 tea, 1 latte, 1 dip with crudités, 1 broccoli soup, 1 stale foccacia slice, 1 eggs Benedict with cold sauce , 1 basic salad.

I waited an hour for a “Japanese style avocado salad” that was cucumber tomato and iceberg lettuce. The bread with my soup was stale.

So you would think we were offered our meal for free after all that wouldn't you? Well not only am I ashamed to say I didn't blink and paid the full £43 when asked but the owner had the audacity to offer us "a free dish next time you come".

I feel like they are totally ruining something that could have been great! And they are clearly mental and have done zero research. Membership is around £500 a year.

Just speechless.

Whereas tearing someone apart for being what you describe as stereotypical lower middle class and nouveau riche is oh so classy

Can you please tell us the place? I'm no where near london, never mind zone 2

Please dial 101 immediately and arrange a spa day ffs.......

Take it to the Supreme Court immediately!

Bejam wow what a load of old bollocks. Many people born into the working classes (i.e. your bottom rung folk, even LOWER than the 'nouveau riche'/lower middle classes) could think of nothing more cringeworthy, attention-seeking or contrived than constant indications of perceived wealth. It depends on whether you happen to be a show-off or not, that is all. Could you sound any more snotty?

@luckylavender where did I criticise the other patrons? Very confused by this

@Avallamp thank you verrrry much darling.

I assure you I didn't intend to show off. It was very much accidental. As this stuff is pretty normal for SW London!

I assure you I didn't intend to show off. It was very much accidental. As this stuff is pretty normal for SW London!

Also @luckylavender the menu looks amazing. Well what you would pay for the description of the food. The reality was... very different

Also if I wanted to brag about money I would have said this place was in Mayfair 🤷🏻‍♀️ it's all relative! That's actually what I like about London - there's always gonna be someone more successful than you so it's humbling. I just wanted to have a nice lunch with my friend in a non horrendous soft play café. The context was necessary to show how much business the lady is potentially missing out on. Plus I thought it was a bit funny. Clearly not everyone agrees

I don't think you were showing off, OP. You've just described a shitty lunch out. I was replying to PP's bizarre piece on social stratification: snobbery.

They need to get their website proof read. It’s littered with errors...

I see they have slashed the membership fee as well.

I know there are a few of these types of places in London but they are proper big bucks. They sound like they are trying to do it on a shoe string and not really hitting the mark on any basis.

I think we are on the same page @sagradafamiliar

I have seen the Grayson Perry docu that Bejam is referring to. It's super interesting.

My family is more like the old couple who had their stuff from travelling mixed in with William Morris wallpaper plus tk max candles.

Ostentatious displays of wealth make me feel pretty uncomfortable.

So it fascinates me that bejam thinks that is what I was doing? What a different frame of reference we must have. Maybe I've been in this SW bubble for too long.

I forgot to mention my diamonds, and my bugaboo soz !

Bejam-Unless you are claiming to be Upper Class you are an inverted snob. You are sneering at the OP for being middle class, whilst cheering on a defunct frozen food store. Your posts are tedious, smug and make you appear a bit dim.

That menu! Who thought that up, GCSE home ec pupils? They need to hire some proper chefs to tweak that.

@MrsEricBana

Can't get too worked up about a "wellness" (top wankword) place not offering prosecco at lunchtime.

Favourite phrase on the thread

Hi all, thank you so very much for your kind words and support. It's absolutely right that we just launched on Saturday so 6 days in and all your support for a start-up with a vision to transform the way children's play areas currently work is super appreciated.

Any start-up has a tough road and having awesome community support really helps!

Honestly i'm flabbergasted that it would be expected to have alcohol at somewhere advertised as a kids play area - somewhere that is so wellness, organic and health focused. Alcohol is not and would not ever be on the table because it simply has more negative impact than positive on our bodies. We want a clean body, soul and mind and that's what we want to present to our children.

We do have ambitious plans - but life is about ambition and dreams and that's what we want to teach our children. We want them to dream and believe in making any dream a reality. No challenge should be too great and as a community who want something incredible for us to all enjoy - we really ought to support eachother to achieve this.

Saying why no one should ever go - after one visit on our 6th day of opening and despite being told by the owner that we had our electricity cut and so many major issues in the last 24 hours but still committed to doing our 100% best is quite indicative of you never having really gone out there and run anything. Business is tough - we work every minute to develop the concept, to nurture the environment, to create a calendar of activities that will demonstrate why our annual membership at £400 +- yes £40 a month (although it's being offered at half price till tomorrow night) is worth it.

We are offering 2 classes a day 7 days a week. Classes in Tooting are £7-9 a drop in for any of the decent ones - baby yoga/baby massage/ sensory/music etc - you do 3 classes a month and you've basically covered your membership! - that doesn't even include all the free time taking care of your kids, activities printed for them daily, new toys brought in weekly, soft play time - outdoor playground and much more....

Try running your own business and then understand how tough it is to create something with so much love and then have one person try to tell the world why not to come after such an insane expectation that we would serve you alcohol in a kids play area?

The team actually are well established staff from ex Joe & the Juice and others and definitely know what they are doing - they dealt with a tough challenge - no electricity and our central heating down incredibly and wore a smile throughout for you so your lunch would not be ruined

We gave you free madeleines as well as offered you a free lunch and coffee on your next trip despite you not having complained to us - but us being fully aware this was not the level of service we would want you to have - in either the time taken for your food or the temperature of the space (given the heating was down).

We definitely appreciate feedback, but as someone said constructive feedback would be to drop us a private email and this was if it was truly on something we didn't already know and apologise for.

We heard you murmur on your way out how grumpy you were that the doors were not automatic - on a serious note where in Mayfair.. oh I mean Tooting have you seen automatic doors??????

Anyway - on a serious note we looked at automatic doors and they are not safe for the kids, the heavier doors mean kids cannot open them and are also protected from any sensors causing them to open and hurt any children. We've thought through a lot - and are still working on adding a great deal in - it's 6 days in and we really need you all to come on in and try out our amazing coffees/ breakfasts and snacks/ even until our sushi is back on because that's the only way we can continue to invest to create an incredible facility for you all.

Our major pros - cleaned after every set of customers leaves, from everything being re-santized in every gap
Plant based/ organic food all made fresh and or sourced from the best
A strong preference for no sugar kitchen
Soft play with an outdoor playground
Party area with separate facility for classes

Wow 400 a year is a lot!

@ChildsplayBrasserie I would have preferred to email you privately (if you read up it's me who actually said that) unfortunately this thread has become clear on which establishment you are which wasn't my original intention so I apologise for that.
I really have to say that I'm concerned you really don't know the market or the price points and I think you will be getting a lot of bad feedback on the food because it really isn't up to scratch (delays ignored). And service really was strange given you say the staff are experienced and it was very quiet.
Happy to discuss further , because I agree that the concept is great and it's a shame that it's not got off to a great start.

Well I wouldn’t go for lots of reasons but I now add opportunistic advertising and the use of ‘super aporeciated’ good luck to the business

Interesting feedback from the owners.

Only thought I have is that a wellness place without alcohol is no bad thing, if that remains the case.

And we did not grumble about the doors. I wondered aloud why they hadn't made them wider given the amount of prams coming in and out. My friend (who has no idea I even posted this) simply responded that automatic might have been an option. Normal considerations for a baby friendly space.

The free madeleines were offered before I even had my second course. And free lunch and a cofffee on next visit wasn't offered, jt was 1 free dish. So a little off the truth there, but hey.

It's hard being an entrepreneur.. Some ideas just fly and are "disruptive" while the exact same idea, a year earlier or later or in a different location, gets nowhere.

I don't have small children but when they were pre-school I was desperate for company and somewhere that didn't have a clown and bright furniture - I could have gone for this.

However execution of the idea clearly needs a little work. But the owner seems keen for the feedback and I'm sure will learn from it all. Good luck @ChildsplayBrasserie

As for the posts screaming first world problems/poncey Londoners/a fool and their money etc.. Dearie me! Enjoy your night out at Zizzi tonight but the world is moving on! Try it!