AIBU to never go here again & tell everyone I know how awful it is?

[FrazzledCareerWoman]

New fancy "mums brasserie" type place has opened in the London suburb where I live. Think zone 3, up and coming area. Lots of yummy mummies, baby classes, mums fitness, etc around. People have money to spend.

So they open this place that is marketed as a wellness and foodie experience where you can have lunch and spa treatments while they watch your little darlings. Sounds amazing, non?

They also will have classes for the kids that are put on by external providers, and a soft play area.

Okay, fine. Me and NCT friend decide to go and check it out just for lunch.

Well, I think I'm still in shock. No alcohol at all firstly - I tried to order a glass of Prosecco and they were like "what's that"? So clearly missing a trick there 🤷🏻‍♀️

Secondly, waiting staff obviously had never worked in so much as a greasy spoon previously as they were faffing around doing very little, extremely inattentive and managed to take an hour to bring our starters and a further 30 mins for our next courses. To be fair they claimed this was due to a power cut (which lasted about 5 mins after we had already been waiting for an hour).

Thirdly, it was eye wateringly expensive. Their sushi chef hadn't started yet and so they was barely anything on the menu that was available.

Our bill was £43, no alcohol, 1 tea, 1 latte, 1 dip with crudités, 1 broccoli soup, 1 stale foccacia slice, 1 eggs Benedict with cold sauce , 1 basic salad.

I waited an hour for a “Japanese style avocado salad” that was cucumber tomato and iceberg lettuce. The bread with my soup was stale.

So you would think we were offered our meal for free after all that wouldn't you? Well not only am I ashamed to say I didn't blink and paid the full £43 when asked but the owner had the audacity to offer us "a free dish next time you come".

I feel like they are totally ruining something that could have been great! And they are clearly mental and have done zero research. Membership is around £500 a year.

Just speechless.

Right. I'm linking to the Masterchef Fred...prepare for carnage.

Eek. What's that about @MrsTommyBanks ??

@lunafort 😂😂😂

Other than masterchef. Obviously

Maybe Gordon Ramsay could be brought in. That is if he doesn't die laughing over the first paragraph on their website. I would love for him to call out pretentious people like ChildPlayBrasserie or ChuckysBrassiere or whatever it is. He would have an absolute field day knocking them down several thousand pegs. Lol

I'm only surprised that nobody has castigated the OP for going out for lunch instead of being at home burning tea towels and getting 7 meals out of a standard roast chicken. Are you suggesting the OP can't make 7 meals from a roast chicken?

That would be hilarious, Luna! 'WTF is this? There's NO food in here! You can't run a brasserie with no alcohol! What is this?!' My fav would be Monica Galetti, pulling that expression of doom when she tastes something awful, 'You make me hate my job.'

Fuck me, that website 🤦🏼‍♀️

Apart from the terrible SPaG and wanky wording (anyone else think a drink called "Fuel me up" for children is ?) the food sounds MING (as we Spoons frequenters like to say )

And also -

"After placing my child in a Montessori and seeing the incredible leap in her ability and interest in learning within days I wanted to ensure that every child would have access to such a level of education despite that cost meant that Montessori nurseries were outside of the reach of most."

Hmm. I am considerably richer than yeewwww

I asked if you and your friends had nannies op as I used to be a nanny in London and the place you describe sounds a like somewhere the mums used to go, it was awful but very popular with yummy mummy's, this place sounds like a reincarnation of this.

Oh and I forgot, Luna have you seen the Gordon Ramsay Hotel Hell and Kitchen Nightmare programmes? Just as your post says!

And like a made for TV version of this thread

This place was in Fulham though,near Munster Road. London must not have changed that much since the 90s..

Can only hope that the blurb on the website is meant to be a tongue-in-cheek parody. It reads as though Nathan Barley spawned and then decided to open a concept venue for gullible yummy parents as his latest zeitgeisty project.

@WeBuiltCisCityOnSexistRoles Yep, I have. I can just imagine him reducing the owners to tears. Oh, sorry; sugar-free all-natural heartfelt tears. I would so love it.

I live near to a town that has these kind of of places - usually last about a year and lots of man buns to be seen.

The use of The word Brasserie in your name would really mislead me. Brassieres are not health and wellness child area spas. They are more refined type of pub and a restaurant! It’s a French word meaning brewery. Did they look this up first?! The style of food you offer (or don’t in your case) doesn’t really go with the name either.

I don’t like the responses from the owner either, firstly it’s droning on and secondly is all about their own importance - not the importance of the actual customer. If a business thinks their vision and concept comes before anything else including happy customers this is where it will go very wrong.

Hold on sorry
It’s open until 10pm?
With salads and no alcohol?
Date night?
Meal out with friends?
Advertised as a brasserie?
No chef and no alcohol?

I actually feel sorry for the owner now (and their visions) but a notice about the food situation and cash only would be a start

Well obviously it hit a raw nerve with you two. Go and read some anthropology books, studies on class and social interactions and maybe some literature on the depictions of class and wealth within our culture. This isn’t just my own personal opinion, its well documented phenomena.

bejam bless, i’m not saying you’re wrong - of course i’ve heard of this phenomenon and even did sociology a level too! And have even read some books.

My point is that obsessing over class and slagging someone off for showing signs of being aspirational lower middle class/nouveau riche is in itself incredibly snobby and déclassé. You’re being a total hypocrite and come across as the snobbiest, most class-obsessed person on the thread.

Oh I agree, bejam's posts here are almost as cringey as that website. I actually curled my toes reading them

I couldn’t articulate what was wrong with bejam’s posts better than BlinkPink

Bejam, trying hard to be Noam Chomsky.

I haven't read all 16 pages, but has anybody suggested leaving a review on Trip Advisor?

Anyone else for popcorn?

gowgow

you really should read the thread it's worth it.

It's no good; I can't stop imagining Wolfie Smith doing a double take at this establishment and wondering where the Tooting Popular Front had gone wrong.
Yes, I'm showing my age
POWER TO THE PEOPLE!

I was gone after the ‘non?’

One of my first posts was ironic/ tongue in cheek and I got the ashes of my arse handed to me in a tiny ornamental vase.

Love this!