Overweight child :(

[Braneycat]

Hi, can I have a private post please? Thank you ❤

My 4 year old son is overweight. I'm not in denial about it. A bit of backstory, he had PICA from about 9 months to 2.5 years ish, in which time we struggled to get him to eat 'proper' food. Instead he preferred to eat plaster/mud/sand/toilet roll ect. Because he was skinny and it obviously wasn't doing his tummy any favours we were desperately trying to tempt him to eat normal food, offering chocolate/ice cream ect. He eventually started eating proper food but gained weight rapidly. In the space of a year he went from a size 3-4 to 7-8 (I don't formally weigh him at home). I've been to the paediatrian who diagnosed an iron defiency (which she did the last time) and offered general advice but Alive and Kicking (?) classes aren't available until he's 5. I've been working with his preschool on lunches until they were happy with them. I cook dinner pretty much as soon as we're home to limit snacking, and he has a supper of a sandwich/toast before bed. I don't keep rubbish food in the house anymore and I try to keep us active (but it can be difficult in the cold weather and I can't afford frequent activities like swimming or trampolining regularly). I have so much anxiety over it as he starts school this year. 6 different people on different occasions have said to me 'he's such a sweet boy, he's going to be a target for bullying' and the thought of that makes me feel sick. It's getting me so down and depressed and it's making me question sending him to school at all, even though I know it'll benefit him and there's no garentee he'll struggle socially. But he truly is such a sweet, lovely little boy and the thought of it breaks me.

I don’t know what to do :(

I would give him fruit once home, push dinner to 5 or 5:30pm and he should not be hungry at 7 when his bedtime is. If he says he is hungry, I would say, its okay to be hungry and you can have something at breakfast. I say this to my dc sometimes, as they are prone to snacking. I do not give them food every time they are hungry (like my ds just had two bowls of wheatbix and says he is hungry still...I don't just give him more food...I say he can he later....at dinner!). Both my dc are slim, and I still don't always let them eat more and more. They will say they are hungry even after eating a lot sometimes. They are healthy weight and eat a good amount, but I do always make sure they are not eating more then they need. Sometimes they can just eat out of boredom etc. For example when playing in the park, they are not nearly as hungry as when they are at home not doing much lol.

Oh and we eat breakfast at 7 in the week, 7.30-8 at the weekend/holidays. Lunch is at noon, dinner at 5/5.30pm. We don't get back from school until 4pm and we are all hungry do quick snack then dinner. Nothing prior to bed unless unwell and not really eating much in terms of meals. Then it would be toast or cereal but only if they'd missed a meal. Ds either eats really well or not very much at all depending on random factors that I'm clueless about

I sympathise OP. It’s not always as easy as PP’s make out. DD has a healthy lifestyle; we walk to and from school, netball, hockey, swimming, gymnastics, no crap in the house, balanced diet and yet she has always found opportunities to overeat- to the point of stealing food. GP has diagnosed her overweight but therein ends the support. Without locking fridge and cupboard we don’t know what else to do except continue to keep her active as much as were able

Hidethesausage how old is your dc? You need to get to the bottom of why they are overeating. That's a lot of extra activities-is it too much and they'd rather have time with you? My two DD's spend most of their time at their dad's engaged in various activities and don't see much of him. They are very unhappy and it's causing lots of problems. Our relationship with food is very complex as humans and we often use it emotionally instead of talking about our feelings.