Overweight child :(

[Braneycat]

Hi, can I have a private post please? Thank you ❤

My 4 year old son is overweight. I'm not in denial about it. A bit of backstory, he had PICA from about 9 months to 2.5 years ish, in which time we struggled to get him to eat 'proper' food. Instead he preferred to eat plaster/mud/sand/toilet roll ect. Because he was skinny and it obviously wasn't doing his tummy any favours we were desperately trying to tempt him to eat normal food, offering chocolate/ice cream ect. He eventually started eating proper food but gained weight rapidly. In the space of a year he went from a size 3-4 to 7-8 (I don't formally weigh him at home). I've been to the paediatrian who diagnosed an iron defiency (which she did the last time) and offered general advice but Alive and Kicking (?) classes aren't available until he's 5. I've been working with his preschool on lunches until they were happy with them. I cook dinner pretty much as soon as we're home to limit snacking, and he has a supper of a sandwich/toast before bed. I don't keep rubbish food in the house anymore and I try to keep us active (but it can be difficult in the cold weather and I can't afford frequent activities like swimming or trampolining regularly). I have so much anxiety over it as he starts school this year. 6 different people on different occasions have said to me 'he's such a sweet boy, he's going to be a target for bullying' and the thought of that makes me feel sick. It's getting me so down and depressed and it's making me question sending him to school at all, even though I know it'll benefit him and there's no garentee he'll struggle socially. But he truly is such a sweet, lovely little boy and the thought of it breaks me.

I don’t know what to do :(

I wonder if it would help, if posters of 4 year olds told you what their dc eat/exercise per day?
My youngest is 8, so she probably should eat far more (I can't remember), but a typical day might be for her:
Breakfast: porridge and blueberries
Snack: strawberries
Lunch: hot school lunch, they're pretty good, roast dinner for eg
Dinner: (at 4.30) egg on toast with salad.
Chocolate treat at some point.
Water to drink
Exercise: walk to school and back plus one activity - normally dance or swimming. Playing, ie running about, at every opportunity.
Good luck.

Yes, the park is the opposite way to the school so it's about a 50 minute walk. So a 50 minute walk there and probably a 30 min walk back.

OP, are you overweight?

I ask because your day sounds very low in outdoor activity.

That's a good long walk, I'd aim to fit that in at least once a week. Weekend if need be.
I know everyone won't agree with me on this, but if your elder child is primary school age, I would prioritise exercise over homework.

I have a very hungry boy prone to putting on weight, what helped was when l collected him from school l would have prepared... carrot sticks/cucumber sticks/cherry tomatoes/ sweet peppers/green beans/almonds and rice cakes ready. It took a lot of munching for modest calories and is nutricious

Then l would do dinner an hour later and an orange before bed.

I think 4.30/5 is a normal time for a 4 year old to eat dinner? Mine eats then. He is then sometimes hungry around 7 before bed and I let him have an oatcake with a slice of cheese or some hummus with a breadstick. A bit of carb and protein basically. So I personally think there’s nothing wrong with a pre bed snack, but it should be a snack not a meal.

For a long time I thought our 4 year old was too big, and now I worry he’s too skinny - kids can change shape fairly rapidly it seems! I’m sure you’ll get on top of things soon. I imagine not eating a sandwich every day before bed will soon have an impact.

I have my own health issues (sciatica) which makes intensive exercising difficult, so I would struggle with that myself. Especially if he decides he doesn't want to walk, I'm then stranded because there's no way I can physically carry him. But I do try to fight through it, honestly. I want what's best for him. I'm going to buy us all some cheap trainers that can get mucky at the weekend to utilise the surrounding fields and buy some activities like suggested, balls and obstacle courses ect. The park that's most local to us is, truth be told, abit shit. It's sandy without any sort of drainage so if it rains it floods completely

A snack after school and then dinner later isn't any different to dinner at 4:30 and then a snack later on, don't know why people can't see this . Keeping the tantrums at bay so you can get stuff done is more important I'd imagine. I think a snack 30-60 mins before bed is fine, I'd be starving if I had dinner at 4:30 and then nothing until breakfast.

try a snack box for when he gets home. Put a small quantity of varied snacks in it - eg a couple of cheese cubes, some grapes, apple slices, mini breadsticks; crackers, cucumber, carrot sticks etc - and give him the box when he gets home. He can then have a graze until a sensible dinner at 6ish. you can counter all nagging about food by referring him back to the snack box.

Ive used this with foster children who need constant reassurance that food will be available and also have sensory issues. It doesnt have to be a big box, I use one of those thin chinese take out boxes. put mainly fruit and veg plus protein - cheese, hummus, rolled up ham.

If you keep to a sensible diet, let him grow into the weight.

Sounds like the advice to speak to a dietician is a good one. I can recommend someone if you need. The fact that you are doing what you are doing and talking to people is great. You will get this sorted and he will be fine.

Does he have a scooter? One of my see was a pain to get to walk anywhere but a scooter made it all a lot easier

4.30 is very early to eat dinner - that means you're expecting him to go from 4.30pm - 7am or later without any food.

You need to look at his diet - snacks should be fruit/veg or protein - something like cheese, cocktail sausages, a boiled egg or similar. And he doesn't need a sandwich or any snack before bed!

My small for her age 5 year old would have in a day:

Weekday:

Breakfast either a bowl of porridge or 1 slice of toast (thick cut seeded whole grain bread) with peanut butter (the type that's 100% nut. No salt/sugar. I think it's gross but she doesn't seem to notice so I'm all for it!)

Lunch - school dinner. She doesn't tend to eat it all but does have the veg and I'm sure she always manages to eat pudding.

Snack after school. - Banana. Or apple/orange and a Goodies/Nakd bar. Our fruit bowl is free reign and there are also cashews and pistachios in there and she loves them.

Days she does a sport (gymnastics/dance/swimming) she will sometimes have something after from Costa/bakery so a biscuit or cake etc but only one day a week for the sugary treat.

Dinner - tonight was 4 chicken dippers in a kid size wrap with cucumber, lettuce, beetroot and red pepper.
We don't have dessert.

Her other favourites are a pita bread with falafel and hummus and veg. Homemade carrot Dahl and vegetable pakoras. Homemade pizza (we do that every Friday and watch a film while we eat)

On a weekend I make us all pancakes with porridge oats and we have berries and yogurt with them. We'll swim/go to a park/for a walk/scoot most Saturday mornings then have a coffee/cake after. Last weekend we had a Nando's but sometimes we'll have a pizza express or a McDonald's.

As a general rule her portions are half the size of mine but she rarely empties her plate.

I was always made to as a child and ended up overweight as a teen. So since weaning I've let her trust her own judgement on when she's done. So far it's worked well as she's the perfect weight.

Hmm, a quick thought, have you considered trying to find a second hand WII? This could give him opportunity to exercise inside without a lot of space?

I have a 4 year old who is just under the 50th centile for weight.
Typical food day.
Breakfast: 1 small yoghurt or 1 slice of toast or 1 brioche (although this is very sugary so I wouldn’t give it to an overweight child)
Snack: small piece of fruit
Lunch: hot meal at school with a pudding although DC usually chooses yoghurt or fruit (weekends - 1 slice of bread cheese sandwich with cucumber slices, maybe a few crisps, fruit for pudding maybe with yoghurt)
Snack: small piece of fruit or a cracker or breadstick
Dinner at around 5.30/6: normal family meal with vegetables (maybe pasta, fish, chicken etc). Sometimes followed by fruit or yoghurt depending on how many have been eaten during the day.
Cup of milk at around 6.30-7.

Can you give me more ideas for healthy but cheap dinner meals? I am first to admit I'm not the most confident cook!

Try getting a wii fit. Won’t take up much room when in use.

I also think 4.30 is really early for dinner, I'm not surprised he's hungry by bedtime. Maybe try just an hour later around 5.30 and give him a high protein snack when he gets in (cheese etc) and a decent sized dinner, and he may not need another snack before bed.

Also, I know you said you don't have a lot if room, but would you have space for a mini trampette? I've recently got one for my son with ADHD because he can't stay still (and jumps on the furniture) but I've noticed as an aside, he's slimmed down a bit after jumping for a few weeks. He does jump a lot mind you!

mine is almost 4 and his hungriest time of day is aroudn 4 when he gets in from school.

Try a more filling snack then (piece of cheese w some fruit) and serve him a decent supper at 5:30/6pm. That should keep him going until breakfast. if he wants something sweet afterwards it's a small yoghurt or similar, or a small piece of fruit but it's straight after supper, not just before bed.

but if he's only starting reception I wouldn't worry so much that he will be bullied - I think 4/5 year olds are straightforward and say some cruel things unintentionally, but they dont' pick on people for being bigger quite at that age (8/9 year olds do, but he's likely to have grown out of it by then)

If he likes fruit and veg, that is half your battle, OP! A few changes as suggested and the weight will have dropped off him by September, definitely.

I actually forgot we have a Wii fit 😅 I'll get it out tonight and check it still works.

No, no room for a trampette. I can't even describe how much we've outgrown our home. We are on the hunt for a bigger place though that should help. We have a garden but absolutely no flat surfaces which is frustrating. All sloped, which is fine in the snow!

OP I just want to encourage you as you sound like you are doing such a great job helping him here. He sounds such a sweet boy and I hope it gets easier before school starts and new routines quickly become normal. You can always make adjustments slowly as they will still have a good impact .

I often gave our DC raw veg before lunch as they were more likely to eat it then! Just in case that helps as an idea too.

Does he only drink water? I reckon that can make a huge difference too

How about making some vegetable soup for when he comes in from school? Should fill him till dinner time for little calories/cost.

My Ds is 7 and will constantly snack from when he gets home from school to dinner time at 6pm so I actually think you are doing the best thing by giving him dinner early and then a snack later. Surely it equals the same calories no matter when it is eaten.
With the food you are giving him now is he loosing weight or still putting it on? It might take some time for him to loose the extra.
I also second the Wii idea, just get the sport or dance games.
Snacks ideas: can of chickpeas rinsed and given cold, tinned fish, scrambled eggs done in the microwave. Cold chicken, fruit smoothie, hummus and veg sticks. I find that protein snacks fill him up for longer.

My quick easy meals currently involve a lot of salad. Burger in a bun with lettuce, tomato, grated carrot, cucumber etc. Use reduced fat mayo or half sugar ketchup choose burgers made from lean mince, if they’re thick burgers they can be sliced in half.
Jacket potato without cheese or butter just with 50% less sugar beans and salad
Mexican wraps , one pack of spice mix does about 3 meals I use half chicken and the rest is veg. With salad again. Frozen veg is great for speed.
Does he like soup? Homemade soup is easy to make in advance and just reheat.
A tapas style dinner with cold meat (usually ham) a ready made tortilla (they’ve quite a bit of fat in them but yiu could make one) and yet more salad. There’s a lot of ideas on Pinterest, involving mainly veg.