To think the hospital were wrong not to use this lady's correct title?

[PumpkinPie2016]

A friend of my husband has recently had a short stay in hospital (a few days). This last is well into her 80's now but worked her whole life as a doctor. She was the first female GP in our area and has an MBE and, as you can imagine, she worked incredibly hard for her qualification and during her career. As a result, she of course has the title Dr.

When my husband visited her in hospital, he noticed that her name on the board was down as Mrs X rather than Dr X. My husband pointed out to the nurse that Dr X had never married and so her title wasn't Mrs but Dr (he was very polite about it!). The nurse was adamant she would change it to Miss but not Dr and no matter what DH or the last herself said, the nurse would only change it to Miss. The following day, a different visitor pointed it out to a different staff member but again it was left as Miss.

Over the 4 day stay, the title varied from Mrs to Miss, back to Mrs then Miss and finally Ms. All of this lady's identification, labels from pharmacy medication, medical records etc have her title as Dr.

Now, I know that in the grand scheme of things it's not a huge deal and there are bigger things to worry about in the world, however, I can't help but think that it's hugely disrespectful to deliberately give someone an incorrect title? I also cannot fathom what the problem was with giving her the correct title?

So, can any hospital staff shed any light? And AIBU to think that they should have used her correct title.

I did wonder if it was something to do with not confusing the patient and a Dr if they have a Dr of the same name, SHOs (?), junior Drs etc are known as Dr X whereas consultants are known as Mr/Miss/Mrs X aren't they?
However that's easily fixed by prefixing with 'patient name' 'Drs name' and 'consultant name' before the names so yeah, I think it's a bit disrespectful, though I dare say there is a reason for it somewhere along the line.

What is the lady's own view on this? Some people might want their professional title used when not in a work capacity, others might not.

I guess it's up to the lady. My sister and BIL are doctors but go by Mr and Mrs.

If it was me I would ask the patient which title they prefer to use. But I'm my experience most of those who have the title Dr actually prefer not to use it, especially around other doctors.

I’d guess it’s because in a hospital it could cause confusion with people thinking her staff rather than patient.

Whatever the reason YABU because a) unless she’s also got a doctorate it’s only an honorary title anyway so it makes no sense to use it when she’s not somewhere in a professional capacity
And
b) even if she’s got a PhD it’s still a twattish thing to do to use it outside of a professional capacity (I have a PhD)

daisypond - are your PhD friends happy with Mr, Mrs, Miss, or Ms? Most of the time no title is necessary but I'm wondering whether they give Dr
when actually asked for a title. It is accurate.
I know women who used Dr when asked their title by patronising men, often in garages. One was a PhD, the other medically qualified, but both were amused to suddenly be treated with a lot more respect!

People with PhDs surely don't really call themselves doctor either - that's naff and would be laughed at. I know loads of people with PhDs and no one would dream of it.

What a strange notion.

I have a PhD, so does DH and my DSis. We all call ourselves Dr as that’s our correct title.

You don't lose the title of Dr once you retire! You gain the title as a result of qualifications. Those don't go away!

DH's DGM, age 90, is still Dr and woe betide anyone who gets it wrong...

Medical doctors only have the Dr title as a courtesy; once they stop practising, they lose the title.

Eh? That's not true.

I have a PhD. The only people who call me “doctor” are my students. I would feel a wally introducing myself as that 😁. I used to tick the Dr. box on forms because that’s what my ID says, however my GP talked to me if I was medical, I’m not, and I had to explain so I don’t use it at all now.

People with PhDs surely don't really call themselves doctor either - that's naff and would be laughed at. I know loads of people with PhDs and no one would dream of it.

I have a PhD. I use the title as and when I want to, since I have a legal right to it and earned it. It saves messing around with Miss/Ms/Mrs. I detest being called Mrs. If I'd ever got married, I would not have taken his name, or used a title giving my marital status. It's outdated and sexist.

OP - the issue of when to call clinicians "Dr" can be problematic, especially in hospitals. Those with an MD can use the title. Surgeons often prefer to be called Mr/Ms/Miss/Mrs to differentiate themselves from physicians - it's a long debate to do with the changing status of surgeons.

Secondary care clinicians can be off with primary care clinicians so they might be dropping the title "Dr" from your friend. She may also, whilst practising as a GP and having been qualified, not actually be educated to doctoral level but to postgraduate level in medicine. I'm not knocking her efforts - just pointing out that whilst colloquially you might call her doctor, without an MD she won't necessarily use the title formally.

Brilliant - I think it's surgeons who drop 'Dr'.

Brilliant - I think it's surgeons who drop 'Dr'.

And only if they choose to.

Belenus - Crosspost. You've explained it all clearly! I didn't realise until recently that many dentists have MDs but rarely use Dr.

I'm a nurse, never worked anywhere where titles like Miss/Mrs/Dr are written down for patients. Just first and last name, and ask what they like to be called.

I used to tick the Dr. box on forms because that’s what my ID says, however my GP talked to me if I was medical, I’m not, and I had to explain so I don’t use it at all now.

Surely all you have to do is tell them - if indeed they’re interested at all - that you have a PhD, not a medical doctor? It usually takes me about five seconds to do that - definitely not enough of a hardship to induce me to change my title.

Ffs the staff have more important things to worry about.

Also calling her Dr breaks confidentiality.

For those asking, her preference is to be called Dr - she has never gone by any other title.

Belenus she is definitely educated to doctoral level.

It's interesting that some people prefer not to use their Dr title - I think it I had earned it and want to use it

Surgeons, once they have qualified to consultant level become Mr/Mrs/Ms/Miss. I think it’s after they pass the exams for the royal college (Um, somethinnnlike MSRCS?- I’m sure someone with knowledge will be along shortly- I am but a nurse and get confused).

I always found it funny how the really succesful medical professionals don't care as much about their titles in day-to-day life. I guess because everyone knows who they are anyway. If someone got into a strop about using their title, it meant that they didn't get as far as they wanted.

Well that's my experience anyway as a secretary in a university hospital for 12 years.

How is calling her Dr breaking any more confidentiality than using her other names? That’s bunkum!

That really pisses me off. She worked bloody hard to get into a medical career at a time when female doctors were rare and she has every right to her proper title. In a time when the health service is bending over backwards to accommodate those who claim to be the other sex and oh so careful not to misgender them, this lady is being treated with a complete lack of respect, regarding HER right to be given the correct title.

Also calling her Dr breaks confidentiality.

How?

Also calling her Dr breaks confidentiality.

Utter bullshite. In that case you’d better not use Miss or Mrs, as that lets people know if someone is married. FFS.