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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my friend is taking the ......she owes me money.

124 replies

rebeccapp · 06/03/2019 15:04

October last year I paid for a weekend away for June this year with my friend.
I put it on my cc as she said she didn't have enough money.
She paid £20 off in November and nothing since.
She owes £180.
Yesterday she was posting pics on Facebook of a shopping trip and getting her hair /tan done (hundreds of pounds of things ).
She rings me saying her dad paid for everything (she's 35 so doesn't ring true )
We have a mutual friend and she told me yesterday that she told her she had thousands in the bank.
Now she's just sent me a pic of her buying lots of cakes.
I said to her seen as you seem to be in the money,I don't suppose you have anything towards the holiday.
She said she didn't unfortunately
I feel like a twat.

OP posts:
Youtoldme · 07/03/2019 04:55

Being as it’s Groupon, could you try to sell it and at least get some of the money back?

Nothinglefttochoose · 07/03/2019 07:28

Ask her for the money now! If she doesn’t have it then take her to court

Mousetolioness · 07/03/2019 08:04

Can you cancel her booking?

MotherofTerriers · 07/03/2019 08:11

Why not message her and say that it is still on your credit card so you are paying a massive rate of interest on it and will she please transfer the money now

icelollycraving · 07/03/2019 08:16

She is being a cowbag and you are being wet, what a combination.
Message her for the balance and when she says she hasn’t got it, tell her that you’ll be cancelling. Then do a shout out on fb to ask who wants to go as a friend is unable to go now.
People generally treat you how you allow. You are probably nice and a bit soft but you’ll feel good to stand up for yourself. Good luck!

WhatWouldTheDoctorDo · 07/03/2019 08:36

Are you also paying interest on the CC?

Like others have said, I'm speak to her or message her to say you need the money paid by the end of the month.

If/when she says she can't afford it, tell her you can afford to cover her share any longer. And if it is accruing interest, then I'd tell her that too.

If she doesn't pay at the end of the month I'd either find someone else to go to, or as it's a groupon deal you should be able to sell it on and recoup some or all of your money - try fb groups. And if she doesn't pay by the end of the month, I'd drop her pretty sharpish!

WhatWouldTheDoctorDo · 07/03/2019 08:37

*can't afford to cover it 🙄

FrancisCrawford · 07/03/2019 08:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Notthatsimple · 07/03/2019 09:04

That sounds like a rubbish situation, OP Flowers do you have a different friend/partner/parent you could take with you instead?

My sixth-sense-for-flakiness says she’ll cancel on you anyway.

TheClitterati · 07/03/2019 09:10

If you put it on CC it's not even your money is it? It's your DEBT!

Would you even want to go on holiday with her now? Maybe give her to the end of the month to pay and if she doesn't walk away from the "friendship".

Butterymuffin · 07/03/2019 09:19

I like this solution best:

Tell her she has until Friday to pay you or your friend (make up one she won’t know) is going to give you the money as she wants to come instead

RevRichardWayneGaryWayne · 07/03/2019 09:30

I'll echo what most others have said, give her a firm date to pay it back by, and if not take someone else or go alone.

Be prepared to be painted as the bad guy afterwards though, I'm afraid these CFs always manage to twist the story when they tell it, so that someone how it will sound like you have let her down! It might be worth laying some ground work with mutual friends, making sure they know the story.

stanski · 07/03/2019 10:42

What everyone else said. Give it a deadline, if not you tell her someone else is going to join. Tell her that your credit card is incurring fees and hence you don't have another option.

Tbh I'd rather go alone than with a CF like her. It would just constantly bug me. But that's just me.

Whitney168 · 07/03/2019 11:03

I like this solution best:

Tell her she has until Friday to pay you or your friend (make up one she won’t know) is going to give you the money as she wants to come instead

Yes, that'll work really well when she says OK, take other friend, and considers the debt discharged ...

Londonmummy66 · 07/03/2019 11:39

Next time she posts on FB about having a spending spree add a PA comment along the lines of "So glad you had a lovely shopping trip - I'd love one too but I can't until you repay the £180 you owe me thatI've been chasing you for since November" plus a couple of sad face emojis

HomeMadeMadness · 07/03/2019 11:42

Agree 100% with PP. She has till a certain date or you're taking someone else.

Original poster
rebeccapp · 07/03/2019 12:36

Asked her last night and her reply was that she was skint but would pay before may.
This morning she sends me a pic of a jacket which is £80 and says ..trying to get dad to buy me this.
Then a hour later sends me a pic in the changing room with the caption "thanks dad "
Liar !

OP posts:
regularbutpanickingabit · 07/03/2019 12:39

Tell her you have just messaged her dad to ask for the holiday money...

SecretMillionaire · 07/03/2019 12:39

She’s a CF. Tell her that you cannot wait that long and you will find someone else to go instead.

FizzyGreenWater · 07/03/2019 12:39

Sorry but she's just taking the piss out of you.

Text back:

'He didn't buy it, and I'm not buying it either lol. I want the holiday money IN MY ACCOUNT by the end of next week or I'm going to cancel it.'

FizzyGreenWater · 07/03/2019 12:43

Actually yes if you have her dad's contact details then I bloody would!

'Sorry to involve you Mr. Cheekydaughter but I thought it best to check before I possibly put unwanted pressure on x. She currently owes me £180 for a weekend break and is refusing to repay me as she is apparently reliant on funds from you at the moment. Unfortunately I really need the money repaid, I'm also a bit worried about X as she is splashing out on luxuries quite a lot (apparently at your expense) while refusing to settle her debt - this isn't like her at all so I wonder whether she's ok? - another thing I thought that perhaps you would like to know. I hope all is ok and maybe you could enlighten me if there's anything wrong as I don't want to make things worse for her, but need the money back urgently.'

:)

Coffeist · 07/03/2019 12:46

Just text back, you're not a bank and need the money as it was on your cc. Be assertive!

QueenofmyPrinces · 07/03/2019 12:49

She’s not your friend AT ALL. Her sending you pictures of her wearing the coat is her simply laughing at you.

She is awful.

She’s not your friend and she doesn’t want to go on the holiday anyway which is why she isn’t paying you for it.

You aren’t going to get that money back so cut your losses and just cancel it.

If you go on your own she will no doubt find it funny that you are a) alone and b) you’ve had to pay the whole cost. I don’t think she will feel remotely guilty.

Either find someone else to go and split the cost or cancel it and tell her you got a full refund.

Don’t give her the pleasure of knowing that you are either going on your own or that you are out of pocket.

PiebaldHamster · 07/03/2019 12:52

Honestly grow a spine or you sort of deserve getting the piss ripped out of you. You know her dad isn't paying for shit. She's a liar and a user. She's an entitled bitch. 'I don't believe you. I'm sick of you taking the piss. Holiday is cancelled. Go fuck yourself!' and block.

PiebaldHamster · 07/03/2019 12:55

Don't be PA with this bitch, she doesn't give a fuck. Get rid of her. Cancel the booking. Why would you want to be around her anyhow? She's a twat.

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