To think my friend is taking the ......she owes me money.

[rebeccapp]

October last year I paid for a weekend away for June this year with my friend.
I put it on my cc as she said she didn't have enough money.
She paid £20 off in November and nothing since.
She owes £180.
Yesterday she was posting pics on Facebook of a shopping trip and getting her hair /tan done (hundreds of pounds of things ).
She rings me saying her dad paid for everything (she's 35 so doesn't ring true )
We have a mutual friend and she told me yesterday that she told her she had thousands in the bank.
Now she's just sent me a pic of her buying lots of cakes.
I said to her seen as you seem to be in the money,I don't suppose you have anything towards the holiday.
She said she didn't unfortunately
I feel like a twat.

Tell her you assume that she doesn't want to come anymore.

Just text her

My credit card bill has come through and I really need the £180 you owe me.
Can you do a bank transfer please by the weekend.
Thanks

Seeing as you have paid for it and daddy took her shopping. So she says say she could ask to borrow it off him. Tell her you need it paid back by the end of this month or at least half with the rest to follow in april if it is not paid invite a relative or see if you can sell it on with mothers day coming up

Do not give her the £20 back. You might have to put that to a cancellation fee.
I'd tell her to get lost, and go on my own. She's not a friend.

Go on your own. It’ll be amazing. Take books, go to the spa.

Yes - do go. There was a thread last year from a MNer whose friends (for genuine reasons - there was no money difficulties involved) had had to drop out of a weekend in London with meals/ a show etc. The poster was very disappointed, and was the sort of person who was quite quiet and not comfortable going anywhere alone, but other posters encouraged her not to lose the money she'd paid by cancelling - just to go and have a good time.

She did and reported back to say "thank you" - she'd had a GREAT time! Very relaxing, lay in luxury baths, enjoyed leisurely meals, thoroughly enjoyed the show, and did a bit of shopping - spoiled herself rotten for a weekend - AND her confidence in going places by herself had soared!

I was also going to suggest the same as Megan has - take her to the small claims court. Why should you be out of pocket like this?

Can you cancel and get your money back? If so, I would do that and do something else. Otherwise, go on your own. She loses her £20 for messing you about.

Even if she pays you back now, it will be a pretty uncomfortable holiday.

Plus the fact you're seeing all these pictures of her spending money means she hadn't considered even paying it back and as you've not hounded her for it (even though you shouldn't have to) shell not feel obligated either. Time to get firm OP.

Just tell her you need the half of the money or you will need to get another friend to go and pay as you've already booked it.

"I have been made aware that you told a mutual friend that you have thousands in the bank so clearly you have the money you owe me but are not planning on paying me. I will not be treated like a mug. I will be taking someone else on our break and not contacting you again. I hope you find another fool to fund your lifestyle because it will no longer be me."

Honestly, even if you dont go its worth the money to get rid of this scrounger.

Do you enjoy your own company? If you do it’s totally awesome going away alone.

She’s being really nasty. How horrible of her. In your place I wouldn’t want to go away with her now anyway. Please stand up for yourself. Friends don’t treat their friends like this.

You could also try selling the entire holiday on to someone else if that is plausible. Do make sure you can change the names of the booked people. Otherwise if they trash the place you would be liable.

I'd send her a message "I'm assuming you've forgotten. So just a little reminder that you still owe me £XX for our upcoming holiday in June. If you don't pay the balance by XX XX XX, I'll have to cancel or get someone else to come along".

If you can't get your money back and no one else can join you, do go alone. Sometimes getting off by oneself, especially if it's a spa break, can be amazing. A quiet room, a pile of good books, and room service or bringing your own basket of treats. Heaven!

You will be really peed off if you go and sub her. So much better to go on your own if need be and enjoy chilling, or find a replacement. Do not be a mug. Treat yourself, not her, she really doesn’t deserve it.

I wouldn't bother contacting her at all - she knows that she owes you, and can't be arsed to tell you she's changed her mind. You don't need a 'friend' like that. Get someone else to go with you if you can't cancel, and forget her.

She knows you won’t ask for the money. She’s being a cheeky fucker and knows you won’t do anything about it. It’s time to pull up your big girl pants OP.

Wouldn’t matter to me if she did pay up tomorrow. No fucking way would I want to go with her.
You just don’t treat friends like that.
You’re not a bank.

Get someone else, or go it alone.

I agree, Ellisandra. She's not a friend. She's a using a twat who sees you as a mark, not a friend but a doormat she can mug off. Cancel if you can, if not, either go alone or take someone else. I'd probably bother sending her one more text. 'Thanks for mugging me off. Did me a favour, now I know what real friends are. Find someone else to fund you. Fuck off,' but then, I can't afford to be a wimp asking people for money they owe.

Are you sure that she is not planning to pay you when you go away. I did this with a friend last year.

If you have already asked and she hasn't come up with the money well then stuff her. Either find someone else or go alone.

Drown her in the bidet OP

Only joking , but I feel sorry for you . That is a lot of money to be owed and she should pay you back definitely .

Some people are so weird when it comes to money. Arranged a ladies trip last year - two of my friends make the transfers straight away, other one waits until the very last day that payment is due. Had to laugh she did this at an event we went to as well. Now I know she's good for the money it's fine, but I hate owing friends and thought that most people would be the same.

How about messaging back? Eg:

"Come on mate! Don't take the piss. Do you think it's fair to leave me paying £380? You know this wasn't what we agreed."

I think it's worth a go. If nothing else, it's good practise at being assertive. I don't think you've got much to lose by the sounds of it and there's always the chance she'll come good.

If I owed someone money and my dad offered me treats, I'd ask him for cash instead to pay my debts. Because I'm not a twat.

Seriously man up and tell her you need it back by a fixed date or you will ask someone else who can pay you if they want to go. She's taking the piss.

A straightforward ' Please EFT the balance of GBP180 to me by dd/mm/yy for our weekend in June.
Account details are xxxxxx
Thanks"

And resend each day, until paid.

Are you sure that she is not planning to pay you when you go away. I did this with a friend last year.

With or without their agreement?

If you discussed it and she was ok with it then maybe it would be ok, but frankly leaving your friend with all the risk is shitty. Maybe you asked her if you could pay her then and she said yes because she is like the OP, too timid to say "Actually no, I need the money now because I am paying interest on your holiday". Morally you should have paid up straight away, before it was booked in fact. If you decided that that was when you would pay her back without discussing it with her then you probably had a thread on MN about you.

This is why I never agree to book anything without the money upfront. Through my job we have a lot of expensive (total cost, not per person) trips booked throughout the year and I will never do it without all money upfront. It quickly shows up the ones who will play silly buggers as they bail first when money in my hand is mentioned.

Definitely don't take her!! I'd rather go on my own than be conned into taking her for free.