AIBU? Should I take daughter out of nursery?

[LauraJade0308]

Not sure if I’m overreacting, or just being over emotional, please advise!

We took DD out of her previous nursery due to it being extremely unreliable (always closing at short notice, lots of staff sickness, etc)

We found a nursery much closer to home which seemed perfect, good reputation, big chain, lots of good reviews...

DD started last Monday (25thFeb). She is entitled to the 30 hours free government funding per week as we both work. Nursery had told us that the only sessions available equaled to 25 hours per week, which we were fine with, because it was still within her free allowance.
Anyway, she attended Monday all day, didn’t go Tuesday as that was a day they couldn’t do, and went an afternoon Wednesday. When we picked her up Wednesday, we asked how she had been, all was fine, nothing to mention.
When we put her in the car I noticed her eye was slightly red and puffy and had gunk in the corner. Straight away I could tell what it was. Conjunctivitis. Got her home, traveled to 3 different pharmacies to find eye drops.
The next morning I called the nursery to inform them that she wouldn’t be in the rest of the week as she has conjunctivitis (They have a policy that children can’t attend if they have medication that isn’t prescribed by a doctor) The lady who answered said “Oh, yeah we’ve had a few cases of that recently!” And laughed.
Am I right in thinking parents should have been informed of this?
So, on top of already being miffed, I receive an email on Friday from the nursery with an invoice for £85! ... For nursery fees...

I just don’t know what to make of this!
From our perspective, she’s been there a full day and 2 half days, has caught a BAD case of bacterial conjunctivitis, we have spent our whole weekend having to bathe her eyes every 10 minutes, fight her to apply drops and ointment, (not very fun at 41 weeks pregnant) and now they are expecting us to pay £85 per month for her to go there when she isn’t even attending the amount of hours that she is entitled to?!

What do I do?

I hate to say it OP but there probably won't be a single day when there isn't some kind of virus (or probably several) circulating around the children in your DD's nursery.

Conjunctivitis is generally really minor, and just happens when a common cold virus spreads to the eye (which happens easily with little ones).

A nursery can't inform parents every time a cold virus is doing the rounds! Chicken pox, scarlet fever, hand and mouth etc. are a bit less common. Even tummy bugs are probably going round all the time.

As for the lunchbox, you should have explained to the nursery that your DD eats a restricted diet. I don't agree with low fat and artificial sweeteners for children, but I would be a bit surprised at a lunch of a sausage roll and some crisps for a preschooler.

I've had plenty of children around my house whose parents were terrified by their food issues.

If you offer a range of healthy options and stop harassing them, they usually pick something. Often they enjoy it.

Their parents usually don't believe that there has been no trouble and they have eaten plenty. I often wish I had filmed it.

But if your child really has such serious food issues that she has to have vitamins to survive, you need to check with nurseries that they can accommodate this.

YABU and OTT.

There are preschool settings closing all over the country due to the lack of funding and parents not willing to pay extra because they want their “free” childcare. If this continues then soon enough parents will struggle to find childcare. You are lucky to find a nursery where the funded hours are on offer at all. Our nursery doesn’t offer the 30 hours extended entitlement at all, only 15. We still pay £340 a month for our 4 year old to attend 2 days a week. HTH.

You need to ask HOW the hours are allocated. for example at our nursery they are allocated as 3 x 10 hour days during term time, similar to a poster above.

We then pay £7 per day for all meals and snacks.

our bill fluctuates between term time and holidays as he is there for 51 weeks of the year. Either £42.50/day for holiday time or £7.50 per day during term time. Averages out at approx £160 a month, we then have the Tax Free Childcare too which knocks another 20% off so we pay £120ish a month for 3 full days using the 30 hours.

I've had plenty of children around my house whose parents were terrified by their food issues.

Oh good, parent-blaming based on your limited experience! I think we now have twattish comment bingo. Congrats, that’s impressive in just two posts.

I can promise you that I and other parents would be over the moon if my child had tried an ‘unsafe’ food when I wasn’t there. It never happened. I had so many parents mentioning it, apologising that he hadn’t eaten enough (I was chilled about it as I was expecting it and always made clear to parents in advance not to worry - they were clearly thinking like you and felt the problem was with the parent, not the child.

The point is that these kids are not ‘normally fussy’. Those sorts of kids will, as you say, choose something from a range of healthy options.

These are kids who would rather go hungry. Who would rather starve, because these foods are that difficult for them. And I’m pretty chilled that my parenting isn’t to blame - first, because DS2 is fine, and second, because I know exactly what DS1’s trigger that turned him into a nightmare eater was, and the parenting that has got him to a reasonably healthy place.

All the comments stating 'no nurseries tolerate crisps and sausage rolls' - that's absolute bullshit. My DS doesn't like sandwiches so he either has a mini sausage roll, cocktail sausages, cheese sticks or something similar, with a small packet of crisps, 2 types of fruit or veg eg. Chopped strawberries, a small orange, cucumber sticks and a petit filous fromage frais. It's about balance and everything in moderation. If his nursery refused to give him his mini sausage roll or crisps & he went hungry I'd be furious too. Fair enough if his packed lunch only contained processed fatty & sugar laden foods I'd expect them to discuss this with me but not to refuse to give it to the child that's not their call to make.
The invoice is most likely due to the 30 hours being pro rata over the year- the school holidays are not paid for- same applies to my DS nursery. Also ours charges £2.50 per day for optional breakfast snack and evening meal which we do pay for. You need to check exactly what they're invoicing you for.

Also @LauraJade0308 you never know your DD May surprise you re the eating unknown foods in a nursery setting. Our DS can be a bit fussy but he always gives every meal at nursery at least a good try as he sees other children eating & doesn't want to be the odd one out. He's ate curry, risotto, fajitas the lot! Some he's liked more than others, but least he's given it a go. It may be something worth thinking about as it could help & at least you won't be there to feel stressed if she does not eat it- you can always give her something when she gets home if she doesn't.

Your child will catch any illness going for the first few weeks in a new setting. If you move her elsewhere she will still get ill.

Food wise, I know it’s probably difficult but a primary school won’t accept that lunch (I’ve worked in a few, now work in secondary) I once sent my oldest DD with crisps on top of her usual lunch and the were sent home and we were asked not to send them again!

The conjunctivitis and the fee is fine.

I think you need to sit down and talk about your daughter's eating issues with your nursery. Print off the NHS advice on fussy eating to take in with you if necessary.

Insisting on low-fat yoghurts is ridiculous. I was told small children have to have full-fat. I understand why they refused the crisps and sausage roll, but you have to work out an agreement with them that you're both happy with rather than just remove her. It sounds like a miscommunication to me.

The fees I don't know anything about, but the conjunctivitis is fine, annoying as treating it is!

As for the food that is not fine. The nursery are being unreasonable considering your daughter's food issues are so severe as to require a dietician! I'd advise you get a letter from the doctor regarding that so they realise how serious it is, and it isn't just toddler stubbornness. I can't believe they let her go hungry all day!