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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think dogs are not the same as human children?

316 replies

TacoLover · 03/03/2019 16:55

I've seen this both on here and IRL, and I have to say it really pisses me off. This isn't just with dogs, I've seen people compare their guinea pig to their child once, saying they couldn't choose between them if they could only save one from a fireHmm but mostly people do this with dogs.

Most of the time when people say this it's a discussion about how they can't believe someone would rehome a dog because they can't cope, they wouldn't rehome a child would they so how is it different, yadda yadda. I don't agree with rehoming a dog without trying your absolute hardest to fix any problems first but ffs a dog is not the same as a human child! I'd hope that a parent would put the needs of their child over the needs of their dog if it came down to it..(doesn't seem so for the guinea pig coupleConfused)

AIBU to think it's ridiculous to say a dog is the same as a human child??

OP posts:
tabulahrasa · 03/03/2019 18:13

“I'm a dog hater apparently and animal abuser apparently”

See I think your issue is that you’re trying to make sense of specific people you know who just don’t make sense.

I love my pets, my dog died in December and I burst into tears last week because I saw a dog who looked like him.

Someone asked earlier about spending everything you have on a pet, I have done... at one point I was willing to sell my car for vet’s fees for a cat.

And I’m still going, well why on earth does the dog need to be in a baby’s bedroom?....

Belenus · 03/03/2019 18:14

I did leave a rather rubbish local facebook group after one too many posts like this, especially one which began "my baby died" and it turned out the be the dog. People don't think.

I left the turmeric user group on FB because of a post that started "today we lost our baby girl". Bear in mind this group was for people who used turmeric for all sorts of conditions, including cancer. So it could have been that they had lost a human baby girl to some awful childhood illness. Turned out it was a 14 year old labrador. I was about to offer sincerest condolences and was quite shocked. Then I realised.

I've mourned pets. I've been devastated when they died. And if in private you want to call your animal your baby then do go ahead. I refer to my animals as my boys and girls. But there was something about that post. It isn't the same thing. Oh it's painful to lose a pet. But the continual use of "baby" to refer to a pet animal in a context where it could also have meant a human baby put me right off. They just aren't the same.

TacoLover · 03/03/2019 18:16

Was it your child that was hurt? No? Then fuck all to do with you

Am I not allowed to be pissed off about negligent parents prioritising their dog's wants over the safety of their child? It doesn't have anything to do with me but I feel sorry for the baby. Are you suggesting that what the parents did was totally fine?

We really don’t need a load of sneery people going on and on about how we are ‘unhinged’ and that you don’t really experience true love until you have a child.

I have said none of thisConfused

Probably worth mentioning that whilst I have adopted children, I did have two stillborns. So I know what it's like to be infertile thanks and I've heard all the 'true love' comments. Where did I say you can't love a dog or that dogs can't be important to you?? I said it pisses me off when people say children should be treated exactly the same as dogs and that children should never be prioritised over dogs.

If you think I'm a troll or lying about what happened then feel free to report me.

OP posts:
akmum18 · 03/03/2019 18:16

I’m with you OP I’ve loved all the dogs I’ve ever had and would never want anything bad to happen to them but surely any normal mother would save their child before their dog in the case of a fire for example? I’d be disgusted if someone left their child in a burning building because they only had time to save their dog. They are part of the family of course, but it’s a different type of love and your human children should be number one. I do understand those without children who are attached to their dog as a replacement child though. Each to their own I guess.

TacoLover · 03/03/2019 18:18

See I think your issue is that you’re trying to make sense of specific people you know who just don’t make sense.

I think you're rightGrin

OP posts:
gamerwidow · 03/03/2019 18:22

I adore my cats and they are part of my family but the love I feel for them isn’t even close to the love I feel for my DD.
Anyone who can’t decide if their DC or their pets are more precious to them is not quite right and I worry about your lack of love for your kids frankly.
Pets have short lives you are supposed to have them die in your lifetime it is a sad but expected part of pet ownership. It is of course very upsetting when they die but to compare it to the devastation of losing a child is ridiculous and deeply insulting to those who have lost children.

TheWaiting · 03/03/2019 18:23

Oh my goodness! I can’t believe there are people on this thread saying they would prioritise their pet over a child. We adore both our family dog and our family cat. My children would be devastated if anything happened to them. But no way, never would it cross my mind to choose to save either of them over a human child, even one I’d never met.

Flame away, but people who say that have seriously skewed priorities. I came on to say of course they’re different but that family pets are much loved but to hear people suggest the life of their cat should be prioritised over that of a child!!!
I’m with you OP!

TheWaiting · 03/03/2019 18:26

I’ve actually laughed on MN before when seeing a poster use the term ‘fur baby’ and realising it was the same poster who, 2yrs previously had pounced on me in a ridiculously snooty way for abbreviating university to uni. Hmm

Costacoffeeplease · 03/03/2019 18:26

Then take it up with the negligent parents, fuck all anyone here can do - maybe ring the nspcc, that would be a better use of your time

Calvinsmam · 03/03/2019 18:36

I have said none of this

Someone on this thread said people who compare animals to humans are unhinged. Which was the exact reaction that you were looking for.
You’re not the only one posting.

BarbedBloom · 03/03/2019 18:39

I am infertile so I probably am a lot soppier over pets than others, but I wouldn’t leave a dog in a babies bedroom unsupervised as it isn’t worth the risk. I definitely care more for my pets than most of my family but I don’t have close relationships with them and see my animals every day, so they have more impact on my life. I have been far more upset over pets dying than family members in the past.

I have spent all of my savings on a pet and would do so again. I would put myself at some risk to save them and have saved a random animal once when I pulled a dog out of a riptide.

Love is a complex emotion and people have different experiences and personalities that can make them act in a way we may not understand. I can easily understand why people may prefer animals to humans, animals normally love us as we are whereas people can be selfish and cruel. I would probably say in an abstract way I prefer animals to people but my life has progressed in a way that this is understandable.

Kitkatiom · 03/03/2019 18:41

I went to visit my friend and her newborn and her mother was there.
I walk in saying congrats!!! All happy.

Friends mother turns to me and says "now now don't forget our first born" and hands me their dog Hmm

SardineQueenII · 03/03/2019 18:41

So is the idea that some people think the fire service should prioritise saving animals over people?

Or not.

SardineQueenII · 03/03/2019 18:49

We've failed as a species if adults think that human children that are not theirs should be given less priorty than animals in any kind of emergency situations.

Animals charities tend to get more than charities for humans I htikn though so it's not unusual.

Many feel more sadness at an animal being mistreated than a child. I suppose lots feel there are too many children in the world already, and also see animals as innocent (which children are as well of course).

SardineQueenII · 03/03/2019 18:49

I had a family member who thought that there'd be less child neglect if babies came out furry Grin

I thiknk she had a point esp in UK.

Goodenough06 · 03/03/2019 18:50

I'm wondering if we know the same guinea pig lover OP... Grin I have a friend who keeps them and who always used to say she would save them in a fire over any human she knew. She's since had a baby and I always want to ask her if her stance on this remains the same.

Omahasomewhereinmiddleamerica · 03/03/2019 18:58

I have a 9 year old who got a much longed for hamster for Christmas (she actually cried with joy!) he is the most pampered pet in existence and so she would have absolutely noticed if he died but if I could get away with hiding it for the sake of a birthday I would do it. She will be gutted when he dies

BlueSlipperSocks · 03/03/2019 19:05

I would have thought that in the event of a fire everybody's priority would be to get their own out, before thinking of anybody else.

Where have you seen someone saying they would save their dog before their own child OP? Link needed otherwise it didn't happen. The posts re this issue I have seen have been posters saying they would save their dog before some random child. That's probably to be expected. Everyone would save their own before anyone else's.

To put it in context - in the event of a fire would your priority be to save your mother or would you save your mother in law first?

TheWaiting · 03/03/2019 19:13

For those asking where anyone had said they’d prioritise their pet over a child,

SiverySurfer said at 17:29,

This is obviously about a recent thread and you're not being entirely truthful. People said they would save their child over their dog but if the choice was between a unknown child or their dog then they would save their dog. I couldn't have children and my old cat meant everything to me. I would have chosen him over any random child or adult.

HarrysOwl · 03/03/2019 19:15

in the event of a fire would your priority be to save your mother or would you save your mother in law first

MIL. No hesitation! Grin

TheWaiting · 03/03/2019 19:17

@BlueSlipperSocks,

I disagree that such a choice is to be expected. A choice between saving a pet, any pet or saving a human life? There is no contest. Sacrifice the life of my beloved dog that’s been part of my family for 10yrs to save a child is never met? ABSOLUTELY. EVERY TIME! I’m literally gobsmacked that anyone would think differently. Shock

Bigsighall · 03/03/2019 19:20

I think you’ve probably never had a dog that you’re close to? I love my dog more than nearly everything 🤷‍♀️

TheWaiting · 03/03/2019 19:21

And I don’t think it’s the same as mother Vs MIL or any similar Sophie’s Choice type of question. The ‘choice’ is easy; no hesitation.

People are effectively saying they’d leave a family bereaved of a child and the lifetime of utter devastation that goes with that for the sake of a cat!!! FFS

dragonsfire · 03/03/2019 19:22

Ok lady here with fertility issues 🙋‍♀️

My dog and cat are incredibly important to me BUT they are certainly not the same as children!

I can go out for the day and leave them at home, I can go away for few days and leave the cat with a pile of food and water bowl. I think I would get arrested if did that to a child!

I would make sure any kids I maybe looking after got out of a fire BUT we also have plans of how to get the dog and cat out and yes I probably would go back for them as I couldn’t imagine leaving them in that circumstances but not over the children. The children would be got out first.

I don’t see why it annoys you though the ones that say it would obviously prioritise children.

We have a running joke that if a murderer came in which one of us would sacrifice themselves to make sure our fur babies are not hurt! Doesn’t mean we would, let’s hope never have to find out!

TheWaiting · 03/03/2019 19:23

No, I too love my dog. 10yrs with us and both us and our children adore him.

But to suggest his life be saved over that of a child?!?! Really?