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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is it offensive or am I being silly?

999 replies

CocaColaaa · 02/03/2019 15:57

Just a quick one but NC for this as I guess its outing.

My childrens school are doing world book day and the “theme” is peter pan, its given some suggestions of characters you can dress up as and one is tigerlilly. I was thinking of chosing that one for DD as I hate all of the tinkerbell dresses but ive heard its offensive to dress up as certain things. Native americans being on of them. Is it offensive or am I being silly? Why oh why do they have to do themes and not just let people pick their favourite book characters 😩

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SparkiePolastri · 02/03/2019 20:12

No,...certainly not and neither does anyone else on here including those who think they will be offended.

No - I'm saying they might be offended, since it's very well-documented that many do find it offensive, so I'd prefer to opt out of dressing my kid up in their traditional clothing.

You know, just in case.

You're the one saying all Native Americans that you've spoken to would be fine with it, therefore...

ElloBrian · 02/03/2019 20:13

Oh man. This thread is immense. Because almost everyone is wrong in a huge variety of ways.

I think the main thing we can all learn from this, though, is that Book Day is a terrible idea. Books are dated to their period and even then contain villains as well as heroes - and even in children’s books there is a lot of complexity in characters’ portrayal. Asking kids to dress up as a book character - over the age of about five or six - is a really fucking stupid asinine idea.

Let books be books.

ElloBrian · 02/03/2019 20:14

If you want to dress up as something, have Movie Hero Day. And spend Book Day actually, y’know, reading books.

strangerthongs · 02/03/2019 20:18

why not go as a mermaid as there are mermaids in peter pan?

or wendy darling?

Or the dog? (get a dog costume or those dog ear head bands)

tazzle22 · 02/03/2019 20:19

Hmmm. I agree it's offensive to dress as anyone to be derogatory of that race but i do wonder that we begin to over think where will we draw the line.

How far back in history do we go ? . Arab nations and north African nations enslaved white people up to the 18th and 19th centuries.

Genhis Khan created a huge empire by conquering numerous nations including what is now Europe.

Slavery and wars are wrong but every nation has its charicatures and almost every nation has had its indigenous peoples taken over and enslaved , even the white race / nations.

If we are to ban dressing up as a character from a book because that character belongs to a race that has at some point enslaved another then we are stumped ....no more dressing up as a human ever !

Megs4x3 · 02/03/2019 20:23

The only people who are offended, often, are those who have nothing better to do than find offence. I have known a number of Native Americans and asked this very question. Not one of them was offended by fancy dress, and they were delighted to share their culture and customs. Pretending to be an Indian Chief is no different from children dressing up as kings or queens they said, and a child having fun is not disrespectful, they said.

SparkiePolastri · 02/03/2019 20:25

It's really not that complicated.

Just apply a little bit of sensitivity and thought.

ElloBrian · 02/03/2019 20:28

And even then there are many problematic movie heroes that y’all can fight about. But at least it would keep books out of it.

OftenHangry · 02/03/2019 20:29

@tazzle22
That's the best post I have read concerning this topic. Have a cake! Cake

PickledLimes · 02/03/2019 20:32

It's amazing how many Native Americans Mumsnetters know and how they're all seemingly so happy for Non Native Americans to dress as a crude stereotype of the numerous tribes and cultures that they belong to. They're even flattered. And it's also amazing how different the attitudes towards Native American stereotypes seem to be when you read articles online written by indigenous people. They're generally far, far more negative.

This is all beginning to sound like 'I have a black friend and he says...'

SparkiePolastri · 02/03/2019 20:33

and a child having fun is not disrespectful, they said.

'They' did, did they?

Well done for surveying all Native Americans on the topic...

PickledLimes · 02/03/2019 20:36

Again the persecution, discrimination and marginalisation of Native Americans continues to this day. It has not been consigned to the vaults of history. It is ongoing.

Thurmanmurman · 02/03/2019 20:42

YABU. It’s only offensive to the type of ludicrous people I would go out of my way to avoid. The school however, is BU to have a theme for world book day! Why can’t children go as their favourite characters? I thought that was the whole point?

BertrandRussell · 02/03/2019 20:42

What amazes me is the number of people on this thread who know Native Americans! And knows them well enough to ask them what they think about Tiger Lily.

I don’t know any Native Americans. I met one once and bought some art from him. That’s it.

But I am certainly not going to run the slightest risk of giving any upset at all to a traumatised and marginalised people for the sake of a World Book Day costume-or let my children think that’s an OK thing to do. So no feather headbands in this house.

Alsohuman · 02/03/2019 20:46

So there are so few Native Americans in this country that it’s highly unlikely that most people have met one but a little girl can’t go to school dressed as Tiger Lily in case they’re offended. Ooooo K.

Megs4x3 · 02/03/2019 20:46

I was only talking of the ones I spoke to Sparkie as you must well know. No need for sarcasm. My point is offence isn’t universal and the risk is someone will be offended either way. My Native American friends pointed out that they could just as easily be offended that people DIDN’T acknowledge their culture. I have Asian friends too who don’t mind others wearing their traditional dress, even Scotsmen who don’t mind non-Scots wearing kilts - which, incidentally, were probably first worn by the Chinese.

Megs4x3 · 02/03/2019 20:49

Exactly, Alsohuman. I’ve had the dubious pleasure of living in both the U.K. and the USA as well as several other countries. Heaven forfend that my multiple decades of living has meant that I’ve learned anything useful about people. :-)

StinkyCandle · 02/03/2019 20:49

and we're still ignoring how offensive the books is against the brits.

Megs4x3 · 02/03/2019 20:54

Can anyone name a book that doesn’t have the potential to be offensive?

Bowerbird5 · 02/03/2019 20:56

We have themes because otherwise the boys wear football strips. We chose much wider ones like nursery rhyme, circus, pirates etc. I.’m not sure what I am going as yet.

Fresta · 02/03/2019 20:56

Dressing as Tigerlily is much the same as dressing as Pocahontas whose outfits are available to buy widely and nobody is offended abut that!

SparkiePolastri · 02/03/2019 20:58

So you've talked to a tiny handful that didn't mind. That's meaningless.

BasiliskStare · 02/03/2019 20:59

The very hungry caterpillar ? but too young and too hard to make a costume of - other than dressing in green , hanging some shoes off the top / trousers and taking along one nice green leaf.

I am joking here Grin - though I wish I had thought of that when DS was younger.

PickledLimes · 02/03/2019 21:00

How on earth is dressing as Tiger Lily celebrating Native American culture? It's perpetuating a crude, outdated and offensive stereotype of the 'noble savage' It teaches children nothing about real Native Americans. Am I celebrating Chinese culture if I put a lampshade on my head, squint my eyes,and talk like Fu Manchu?

BasiliskStare · 02/03/2019 21:01

Previous post meant for @Megs4x3 - again - I type too slowly

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