Teachers said my DD didn't have enough to eat

[StoppinBy]

First off I think I am BU at how much I let this upset me for personal reasons but I am seeking clarification on whether I actually do send her enough.

When I picked up DD6 the teacher in charge at the time said to me that one of DD's teachers had said that I wasn't sending enough for her to eat, yesterday she had :

A vegemite sandwich, two cherry tomatoes, an apple, a chunk of cheese cut off the block and a big handful of nuts, she brought home a cherry tomato, some of her crust and some of her nuts .

The reasoning behind saying she didn't have enough food was that she had eaten her sandwich and a tomato and her cheese at 'snack time' - 11am and then had her nuts and apple at lunch - 1pm. Apparently she often does this.

We usually have lunch at 11:30 - 12 at home to fit around DS's naps so personally I can't see the issue with how she ate and I feel that if she was actually hungry that she would eat everything in her lunch box but she regularly brings stuff home.

AIBU to think that she does have enough food and that the teachers are actually wrong or do most kids eat more than that?

Children dont always speak out if some things as it always has been sometimes thwy dont think to question it. Something happened at school.

Just put an extra sandwhich or something you know she does like for a week or two and see!

Swimming, it's like talking to a brick wall with this one.

Or a cereal bar, as that could be left if she doesnt eat it. Mine sometimes eats hers on the way home.

Have you had an eating disorder yourself? You do sound quite controlling over not allowing food - only wondered as I have an ED and have had to check myself a few times! We have a free choice of snack after school too.

Your school would love what my DS2 has in his lunchbox then - a tinned salmon sandwich and a banana. He won't eat any more than that, and sometimes doesn't even finish his sandwich!
I've tried sending in extra fruit for "fruit break", but he just eats his banana then, has the sandwich for lunch and doesn't eat anything at recess.
Any more food than "sandwich and banana" comes home again at the end of the day.

So far no one's said anything, and he's in Y1 now.

Well now I know why there are so many fat people around. OPs daughter eats more that I do some days. She is so full she brings food home. What encourage her to over eat?

@OP send he to school with a gigantic box of food on Monday just for the fun of it. Ideally one of those clear plastic storage boxes.

OFFS @knee you gave your kid a hot chocolate then fed your kid sugar on toast for a evening meal after she had nothing to eat since just after school and processed cheese for snack, do run along and run your mouth somewhere else.

I am not controlling her food - she packs it herself and once again tonight I have just in passing asked if she needs more food at school.... the answer is still no, you don't know my child, she is quite capable of telling me what she wants, she said she doesn't want anything else, the end, end of story. Now bugger off before I report you to admin for your harassing behaviour.

Can I also remind pp that it’s still hot in Australia. Many children don’t eat at all in this weather. They definitely don’t need TWO sandwiches ffs.

If the teacher suggested you send in more food then you should, perhaps another sandwich for snack time or savoury muffin?
And then just see how your DD gets on.

You seem very defensive OP? Sometimes it's a good thing to just step back and listen to others advice....

Bloody hell knee

OP theres nothing wrong here. All these claims of skinny scrawny children who eat the fridge on a daily basis does not add up to what's in front of our eyes when we leave the house. There are a scary amount of overweight children. Who dont need " an extra fucking sandwich"

And diets high in.sugar and carbs do lead them to feel hungry alot more often .

You aren't starving your child and people are being ridiculous op. Dont worry

clearly she does or she would have emptied the lunch box

Can you send her with a specific sandwich for break and seperate for lunch - even if you are effectively just dividing up what she would have had. I think people get a bit hung up on every meal being balanced rather than being balanced over the day etc. So half a sandwich and piece of fruit for snack and then other half, nuts, cheese and toms for lunch or something

Your replies absolutely scream food issues. And I have no idea why you posted because you are not listening to a single thing anyone is saying and obviously believe that you are completely in the right. No wonder the teacher made her excuses and got away quickly.

Your dd bringing home a couple of old crusts and a tomato doesn't mean that she's not hungry. Also are you saying that when she gets home she has to eat the remains of a sweaty lunch box before she is allowed more food? In any case I'd just add something extra to her lunch or a more substantial snack for morning to keep her going.

All this nut allergy stuff worries me. It's much better to teach food hygiene and not to food share than to just ban foods - after all, if a child has peanut butter on toast for breakfast, but doesn't wash their hands/mouth after they are life-threatening to a child with a severe allergy, yet no-one ever tells parents to stop feeding their child peanut butter for breakfast!

OP, that meal is fine, how your child is eating it sounds fine - mine has an apple and a sandwich, but he finishes at 2 and has a snack as soon as he comes in. We've had to tailor it a bit because he only has 10 mins for lunch(!) and is only allowed to take one thing to snack on at break, so we go for a high protein breakfast and sandwich to keep him going through - he'd love to have the time to eat a bit more, but he's not starving on what he has.

DD used to eat scarcely any of her lunchbox food whilst at school (think one snack such as a Babybel and maybe a fruit), so she would come out at 3pm very grumpy. She would ravenously eat what was left en route home. It used to really annoy me because I had to deal with the fall-out of a child who had not been sufficiently nourished whilst under the school's care. Anyway, one day I decided not to include a sandwich as I decided it was easier to prepare a fresh one to take for her to eat on the way home rather than one made 7 hours earlier. It was the one time I got called out by school for not giving her enough food - WTF!!!!

actually @cixi when she gets home she pulls out her cool pack lunch bag which has a freezer block in it that stays like a fridge all day and sits down with her little brother and shares her crusts if there is any left, he loves it and so does she - he actually tries to unzip her bag the minute we get home from the two minute walk home in the hopes that she has something left.

It is in no way sweaty and if it is not still safely inside her plastic sandwich box it goes to the chickens.

My later replies have nothing to do with food control and everything to do with my irritation at one poster who thinks it ok to be a keyboard warrior while declaring that she feeds her own child Nutella on toast for an evening meal.

Anyway, one day I decided not to include a sandwich as I decided it was easier to prepare a fresh one to take for her to eat on the way home rather than one made 7 hours earlier. It was the one time I got called out by school for not giving her enough food - WTF!!!!

Alot of schools have lost the plot re lunch boxes judging by MN.

The "guidelines" allow for all sorts of nutritionally worthless highly processed crap which would leave children hungry after an hour alongside shit full of sweeteners . Then stuff like full fat cheese or pasta salad with mayo in it and a home made brownie gets removed fir being "unhealthy"

The way it’s written sounds like your ds is desperate to eat your dd’s Scraps from the day, that’s if she doesn’t get to them first!

I also sense food control issues here, and the unwillingness to accept any sort of criticism is worrying.

Just pop an extra sandwich in her lunchbox and be done with it.

? StoppinBy - your OP says your teacher said your dd did not have enough to eat. You have subsequently made it clear that the teacher did not say your dd was hungry at lunchtimes, only that she did not have much to eat at lunchtime. Did she specifically say your dd does not have enough to eat in general, or just that she doesn't have much to eat at lunchtime? Tbh, it sounds to me more like your dd is being bloody annoying at lunchtime because she finishes what's left of her lunch really quickly and then gets restless and disruptive while waiting for her friends to finish, than anything else.

Christ.

You seriously have food issues.

She gets to eat her crusts from school when she comes home?

OP I think people are picking up on your level of defensiveness. If my child's teacher asked me to send more food I'd send something that could be re-used if she didn't eat it. If she consistently didn't want the extra food I'd stop sending it. It wouldn't be a huge deal. My 6 year old would be starving if he only had what you were sending but kids are different. You just seem disproportionately annoyed by it - what's causing that over reaction?

Also yes it's insane that she has to eat her stale lunch crusts for her after school snack.- that's controlling and you're being defensive about it. The entire picture you're presenting is someone who has anxieties about food and reacts by over controlling it.

OMG hahaha @karwoman - are you now saying I starve my almost 2 year old?

He is on the 90th percentile and perfectly healthy, it is something special that they do together, you should see him go nuts on my tomato bushes and bean plants when he is playing in the yard, must be because he is also clearly starving

Yes, Nutella on toast.

There could also be issues around choice of food - choosing what she thinks mum wants her to choose at home, then looking longingly at other children's different food choices at school, leading the teacher to question whether there is a problem. Who knows if the teacher was not particularly specific about the issue or how bothered she was by it?