Teachers said my DD didn't have enough to eat

[StoppinBy]

First off I think I am BU at how much I let this upset me for personal reasons but I am seeking clarification on whether I actually do send her enough.

When I picked up DD6 the teacher in charge at the time said to me that one of DD's teachers had said that I wasn't sending enough for her to eat, yesterday she had :

A vegemite sandwich, two cherry tomatoes, an apple, a chunk of cheese cut off the block and a big handful of nuts, she brought home a cherry tomato, some of her crust and some of her nuts .

The reasoning behind saying she didn't have enough food was that she had eaten her sandwich and a tomato and her cheese at 'snack time' - 11am and then had her nuts and apple at lunch - 1pm. Apparently she often does this.

We usually have lunch at 11:30 - 12 at home to fit around DS's naps so personally I can't see the issue with how she ate and I feel that if she was actually hungry that she would eat everything in her lunch box but she regularly brings stuff home.

AIBU to think that she does have enough food and that the teachers are actually wrong or do most kids eat more than that?

You've been told 10 times to just send her an extra sandwich.

It's also summer in Oz, so the hat thing doesn't add up either, unless it's a sun hat.

Stoppin I clearly put the way it’s written sounds like... it is pretty funny and your response shows you can see what I mean!
He’s clearly a boy that likes his food!

Tbh OP if I saw a child was choosing to eat the majority of their lunch at break/snack time I would assume that they were hungry. I do not know what they've had for breakfast so would be concerned that they are not getting enough food. Obviously everyone has different eating habits but in a lot of schools a child will have a "snack" mid morning and a more substantial meal at lunchtime.As someone responsible for a child's welfare it would concern me to see a child chose to eat their lunch at 10am and would worry that they are not getting enough at lunchtime to see them throughout the afternoon. The teacher was concerned and made a suggestion - why don't you simply add something else to her lunchbox and if after a month it is not being eaten then stop and explain to the teacher that you have tried more food and your child isn't eating it?

StoppinBy - your regular references to the vegetables you grow, the 100% healthy food your children love to consume, the excited sharing of crusts between siblings, the failure to mention or remember what snacks you give them after school, does come across a teensy bit as someone utterly obsessed with wholesome living and healthy choices, which thus comes across as being possibly rather controlling about food and more likely than normal to worry about food issues. Not saying that is necessarily the case, but you do seem to go out of your way to virtue signal.

When my youngest was still at home all day, he loved to dive into his older brothers' lunch boxes and scoff the crusts. He wasn't hungry, it was just fun for him! If there were pieces of cheese left over he did a little happy dance. All of them would have a little "picnic" on the floor and chatter to each other about their day.
Son Three has a tiny appetite and won't eat his next meal if he has any kind of snack. It doesn't matter what the meal is, if he isn't actively hungry then he won't eat. We were called in to school because he was eating one bite of his sandwich (under pressure) and nothing else. I'd previously asked the school not to give him a snack at morning break for exactly this reason, but they wouldn't listen. Eventually he started refusing the breaktime snack himself, which solved the problem, but he still eats like a bird.
OP, since your daughter is basically just switching the two "meals" and having her lunch before her breaktime snack, she's almost certainly getting enough food, just not in the usual order. You could try asking her to eat in the usual order, but I don't think it's a huge problem.

What, just because she mentioned it was helgas pumpkin grain bread?

I think the long and the short of it is, the teacher is being a bit of a nob. Some people obsessively follows rules and eating lunch at snacktime and the snack at lunchtime just did not compute.
Your daughter has a healthy balanced diet, and only eats when she's hungry. That's as it should be.
Ignore the teacher.

Ok this is seriously getting ridiculous, I do not control what my children eat, they have full range of the cupboard and yes I do make my DD eat her crusts as do plenty of parents. I do not let her eat them if she hasn't stored them away in her sandwich box so clearly she has the option to just chuck them in her lunch bag and know they will go to the chickens.

Some of you are seriously making leaps in your thoughts, it has been over 10 years since I shook off my food issues and never once have I imposed them on my children. My children are both healthy with one of average weight and always has been and one on the 90th percentile charts for his age and he too has always followed the same growth curve.

So why not send something extra in then? Whats stopping you? They wont eat if not hungry?

I'm just freakin amazed that your DDs school allows nuts!! Where I live, they're forbidden everywhere (and it's ridiculous)

@walkaround, people are actually questioning the type of bread if you read through the thread. The reason I mentioned the home grown is because people are here suggesting that my daughter might not want to eat scummy tomatoes everyday where the reality is she is very proud to be able to take food that she has grown at home.

OP people are picking up on residual food issues. It's just the level of concern you have over the teacher's comment. Why? Why not just shrug and say "I'll send something extra and see". Why such a big deal? I grow veg myself but it's not a huge deal. The way you talk about it and go out of your way to mention it gives the impression you're overly invested in it. I'm sure you're not starving your kids but you might well be imparting your anxiety about food to your kids and being a tad too controlling.

Why won't you just send an extra sandwich?

That sounds like a boring and tasteless lunch.

@Msgiggles30 my daughter does it all the time!! They have break at 11 and lunch at 12.30, she eats what she likes as and when she wants. Also I am a teacher too and the kids in my school do it all the time!!
@StoppinBy I just explained to DD that if she could have half the sandwich at break and half at lunchtime. Or just chuck in a bit more if it suits you. I usually send dd6 in with a sandwich, yogurt, homemade flapjack or banana bread, a pot of carrot sticks, red pepper, olives and cherry toms etc, two pieces of fruit (our school has a no nut policy this year because of a new child) but last year I sent her with cashew nuts sometimes. But we are in Ireland where school at her age is finished at 1.20 she then goes to Afterschool and has toast/fruit at half 2/3, I collect her at half 3.

Knee
I suspect she doesn’t want to send an extra sandwich because the things in her lunchbox aren’t being finished already.

"No hat, No play" is the rule at every school I have ever attended/had kids at in Australia.

It's fine OP. Pop a muesli bar in there, it won't matter if she doesn't eat it.

My kids both eat any leftovers from school when they get in. Also perfectly normal.

DS2 often doesn't get around to his cherry toms at school so will eat them once in.

@knee - how about you do some research before making comments about hats - it was 37 degrees celcius this week and we have a big hole in the ozone layer over our country, of course it is a sun hat, kids must wear them everyday of term1 and term4 I order to be allowed outside.

Wow but some people are weird.

OP the only thing even vaguely concerning from your side is the very faint possibility that she is saving food just so she can share it with her brother. That she might not be eating everything just so she always has something left for him. But there is no problem whatsoever with what you send or when she eats it.

@walkaround, my husband finishes work at 4pm, I am not the only one to organise snacks.... this may also be the reason I can't remember what they ate.

@m3lon, yes I can see what you are saying there and will mention that to her just in case she is doing that. That hadn't crossed my mind til you mentioned it.

The lunch sounds fine to me. If the school have issues about when the food is being eaten, surely that is something for them to take up with your DD at the time?

Why does a teacher having a concern and having a quick word with the parent about it make them a nob BaronessBomburst?
That teacher does not know if the child has had a good breakfast , gets a snack after school or what time their evening meal. They are concerned that a child is choosing to eat their lunchtime a couple of hours after getting to school and a quick word with the parent can put their mind at rest. Maybe the teacher commented about the child leaving their crusts and the child mentioned saving them for their little brother? In context of what the OP has said about what her children eat and how they enjoy sharing the leftovers it all seems fine but without that information it could be a legitimate cause for concern that a child is eating most of their lunch by mid morning and won't finish it as they think they have to save something for their little brother. If these children were being neglected and it came out that the teacher was worried but didn't do anything about it , people would be disgusted yet when a teacher mentions a concern then they are a nob?