Teachers said my DD didn't have enough to eat

[StoppinBy]

First off I think I am BU at how much I let this upset me for personal reasons but I am seeking clarification on whether I actually do send her enough.

When I picked up DD6 the teacher in charge at the time said to me that one of DD's teachers had said that I wasn't sending enough for her to eat, yesterday she had :

A vegemite sandwich, two cherry tomatoes, an apple, a chunk of cheese cut off the block and a big handful of nuts, she brought home a cherry tomato, some of her crust and some of her nuts .

The reasoning behind saying she didn't have enough food was that she had eaten her sandwich and a tomato and her cheese at 'snack time' - 11am and then had her nuts and apple at lunch - 1pm. Apparently she often does this.

We usually have lunch at 11:30 - 12 at home to fit around DS's naps so personally I can't see the issue with how she ate and I feel that if she was actually hungry that she would eat everything in her lunch box but she regularly brings stuff home.

AIBU to think that she does have enough food and that the teachers are actually wrong or do most kids eat more than that?

@knee oh, and the nuts, maybe she split them between lunch and snack to make it even out in the above scenario.

In the UK, there was a heart rending case of a little boy murdered by his mother who convinced his school that he had medical reasons for not being allowed food at school. His slow starvation in front of a school full of professionals has made staff very aware of checking students are being fed.
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-coventry-warwickshire-22786765
I would not have thought the publicity surrounding this case would affect Australian schools though.

*In the UK most infant children get free fruit / veg at breaktime, so there’s no need to go and get their lunchbox out at breaktime.

Not in Scotland they don't.

That’s why I said “most” 🤔*

Not in Wales either.
So that’s not ‘most’, that’s most schools in England.

Your dd’s lunch sounds fine to me OP.

So that’s not ‘most’, that’s most schools in England.

Which, by definition as England is part of the UK, is most of the UK.

Firstly, I can't believe the school allows nuts to be taken in at all or that you are foolish enough to do so!! Nut allergies can be fatal for some who are just sitting nearby whether there is currently anyone with allergies or not. A supply teacher could come in.

I think you should send in a separate snack but it depends how big an eater your daughter is and whether she complains herself that she is hungry. Maybe increase the number of sandwiches and send two piece of fruit.

I’m actually quite surprised by how little some DC seem to eat on this thread! DD1 is 5, 9th centile for weight and eats far far more than that. She doesn’t stop moving, but most 5/6 year olds don’t!

Uk, England, Scotland, Wales is entirely irrelevant. The OP is in Australia

Firstly, I can't believe the school allows nuts to be taken in at all or that you are foolish enough to do so!! Nut allergies can be fatal for some who are just sitting nearby whether there is currently anyone with allergies or not.

Two of the major UK charities for allergies advise against making schools nut-free. They say this creates a false environment which isn’t mirrored in the real world and stops children from being able to learn how to manage their allergy themselves.

We’re not a nut-free school and we have children with allergies.

Uk, England, Scotland, Wales is entirely irrelevant. The OP is in Australia

There was a conversation within this thread about what happens in the UK. It does happen.

*Nut allergies can be fatal for some who are just sitting nearby whether there is currently anyone with allergies or not.

So can other allergies. You can't ban everything. Besides which, nuts are not banned in the world outside school. You could be near them any time.

Sounds fine to me. I expect she has the sandwich at snack time as it’s her favourite bit! If you occasionally add a “treat” that would most likely be eaten at break and the sandwich left until lunch.

I have a “rule of 4” for lunch boxes - 1. Sandwich/wrap 2. Fruit 3. A small sweet treat (often yoghurt), 4. Something else - eg cheese, boiled egg, mini sausages, cucumber/tomatoes, mini pack breadsticks, pack of crisps on Friday’s only.

Sounds to me like your packed lunch was about the same.i guess you could increase the sandwich quantity if you wanted to, then she might leave one for lunch.

If they don’t eat the crusts you might be better to trim them off, you tend to cut off less than they leave, if you get what I mean.

While your dissention is duly noted, you are not listening to anyone. Not the teacher, nor the posters here.
Just send her an extra sandwich! FFS. It's like war and peace here over adding a sandwich to her fucking lunch!
You want to be right, and can't take criticism. Sorry honey, you're going to have to grow up. Either your dd has mentioned that she's hungry, or the teacher has noted she is hungry.
Dig your fucking heels in.

My teen in secondary has pasta salad/apple or roll/apple and says that is all they want. If take £ she only buys a roll.
I used to send this plus yogurt and biscuit at primary school !

They eat lunch at break which is at 11.20 and then nothing at lunchtime 1.30 but will have drink and snack when home at 3.45. Clubs are often on a lunchtime and there is no time to eat anyway.
If you consider this is eating at 4 hr intervals I think it’s ok.

As a teacher, I'm with your daughter on this one. I'm always famished by break, have my lunch and then I'm fine till dinner. I wonder if some people's metabolisms just work much faster in the morning 🤷‍♀️

@quizqueen I guess it goes back to the fact that you can't ban it completely, what about kids eating peanut butter on toast before school, having some still on their face then drinking from a bubble tap?

Just about every packaged item has a warning that it may contain nuts - do you ban all of those too?

While I respect that nut allergy is very dangerous to certain people I also know people who are anaphylactic to milk to the point where a drop of milk that once splashed in his eye sent him in to shock. As previously mentioned we have a child in my daughters glass who is allergic to most fruits and vegetables as well as a few gluten intolerant children.

I have a friend whose son is allergic to peanuts.... their other children are allowed to eat them.

It is simply impossible to remove all allergen foods so if they start with nuts where do they end?

DD at that age ate:

7.30 am A big bowl of porridge

11 o'clock break (who knows what bits she ate at what time), but she would have had a yoghurt, a cheese string and fruit

Big break
Her half sandwich (i.e. one slice of bread filled with ham/tuna etc.) which was increased to a full sandwich after the telling teacher she was hungry incident.

Finished school at 3pm and was taken to afterschool where she was given a full dinner. Apparently she asked for seconds often (I know this, because I asked them not to feed her at that time as she never ate her dinner at home - they said that she was ravenous and they couldn't not feed her as she ate more than most).

5pm dinner in our house and she ate very little.

7pm she'd have a hot chocolate and nutella on toast

As I said earlier, the majority of what she ate was in the early part of the day. I'd rather give more food than not enough food and you're being very difficult about this. For no good reason.

Dd is a skinny scrawny looking thing and always has been.

You need to give her food that she has the option to eat if she's hungry. Nuts and apples don't cut it when you're 6.

I would maybe add a yogurt and a piece of fruit. But sounds fine.

Oh My Goodness.... please check your reading and comprehension @knee , the teacher told me .... I will say it one more time only..... that the problem is

Dum dum dum dum..... drum roll please.... she is eating her lunch at 11am snack then her snack at 1pm lunch..... the teacher did not tell me she said she was hungry and when I told the teacher what was in there (as different teacher to the one who reported it to her) and that she usually brought food home ........ she shrugged her shoulders, said 'well that's something the two of you need to work out' and implied she had somewhere to be and left the classroom.... clearly at that point had my DD said she felt hungry she would have ............ told me? Don't ya think?

By 'not listening to the posters' I suggest you are referring to yourself and yes in that you would be correct.

Perhaps you may also see the post where I said I will be finding out what teacher raised the concern and speak directly to her....

You may now have the last word as I assume you will feel the need but I am stepping out of this disagreement with you. Thanks for your time.

Sorry “extra” piece of Fruit.

Schools are very densely populated with children who don’t tend to have personal space so exposure to an allergen and a reaction is much more likely there than in the outside world simply due to the environment and proximity. There’s also the fact that outside school adult to child ratios are a lot higher so potential situations can be managed more easily,for example a child sharing a chocolate bar with nuts it will be spotted by a parent but maybe not in the playground with 1:60 adult:children.

I see no problem with the way your DD is choosing to eat her food but why not send in an extra sandwich to keep everyone happy?

Lunch is fine and balanced.

She eats what she needs during day. She's not scoffing it all and then starving.

Teacher is nuts!

My ds is secondary and has weetabix at 6.30am.

Their break is 10.40-11.15 and lunch 1.15-1.50. School ends at 3.10 and he's home by 3.30.

Totally agree with you re timings and no way will a live if fruit suffice ds for 5 hours when he can eat less than 2 hours after lunch break!

He takes
Tuna roll
Cucumber
Carrot
Crisps
Cereal bar.

He eats cereal bar and carrot at lunch. Rest at break.